Chad Eastham - The Truth about Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends

2011 by Chad Eastham
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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible. 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Eastham, Chad, 1980
The truth about dating, love & just being friends : and how not to be miserable as a teenager because life is short, and seriously, things don't magically get better after high school and lots of other important stuff, but we'll get to that later/Chad Eastham.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-4003-1641-0 (pbk.)
1. Dating (Social customs)Juvenile literature. 2. Dating (Social customs)Religious aspectsChristianityJuvenile literature. 3. TeenagersJuvenile literature. 4. Interpersonal relations in adolescenceJuvenile literature. I. Title. II. Title: Truth about dating, love and just being friends.
HQ801.E275 2011
241'.6765dc22

2010045088

Printed in the United States of America

11 12 13 14 15 16 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1

CPSIA: Mfr./RRD/December 2010/PPO #115197

To my father,
Thomas Kanada Eastham,
who is a good man.
Love you, Dad.

Chad

CONTENTS

Dont think youre
on the right road
just because its a
well-beaten path.

Author Unknown

The Truth about Dating,
Love & Just Being Friends ...

and how NOT to be miserable as a TEENAGER because life is SHORT, and seriously, things dont MAGICALLY get BETTER after high school and lots of other IMPORTANT stuff, but well get to that later...

Hi there, Im Chad. Its great to meet you too. Well, I am just going to assume that it is great to meet you too. And... that you are super cool, and that you like me too, and that we become besties, and just talk and talk, and then laugh, and then you learn stuff, and everything becomes better because we are spending all this time together. Right? Right? You dont have to answer now... just get back to me later... maybe.

I suppose the first thing I should do is explain the title. I know, its long, and its a run-on sentence. But guess what? So are most of yours. Texting really is ruining your spelling, FYI. Moving on. Most of my writing comes from talking with teens and reviewing their questions. Mix that in with piles of research and a bunch of stats on young adults and teenagers, and I find some interesting stuff to talk about. Teens also write to me at... stuff@chadeastham.com, and I try to write back. Its amazing what you can learn from peoples questions, stories, e-mails, letters, and conversations. And girls have lots, emphasis on lots, of questions. These are usually questions about dating, love, how to act around the opposite sex in general, being just friends, and how to be happy. And guys questions are... well... shorter, but still interesting. Now heres a letter I rarely see:

Chad,

You said in one of your books that you wished you got more e-mails from people saying how much they like themselves. Well, I just thought Id send you an e-mail telling you that I like myself, and I feel beautifully and wonderfully made. Thanks so much!

Beth

Beth,

I really do wish I got more letters like this one. Im pumped when I do. And Im happy for you. I wish and hope that everyone could say those things confidently.

Chad

It is a reality that there are some kids who feel this way. But unfortunately most dont. Have you ever thought about why some teens are so happy, and so many others arent? I mean, really, why are some people so successful, smiley, laugh-prone, and optimistic while other people keep falling down, have broken relationships, become jaded and cynical, and see each period in their lives as bringing a little more cloud cover?

Is there an answer? Is it simple? Is it one of those magical number tricks like 6.7 Things That All Happy, Successful People Do or 11.1 Mistakes That All Losers Make? Or are you like me, and you really get annoyed when people offer simple answers to complex life situations? Five Miraculous Secrets to Being Happy and Gorgeous and Perfect Forever! Yeah.

Few things in life are that simple, but there are things that some people are doing, or not doing, that we can learn from. And guess what? Most of them start early! And a lot of them have to do with relationships. And not just romantic relationships, but all kinds of relationships in your lifeparents, friends, teachers, boyfriends/girlfriends, the kid you meet at campyou name it. The people in your life and how you interact with them can have a huge impact on whether or not you consider yourself happy. Your behaviors and interactions with others are kind of like the seed of a tree. What kind of seed, where you plant it and when, the weather, and how it is tended will affect everything about the tree. Wow. Did I really just use a tree analogy? Im sorry. Ill do better in the future.

Effort is only part of the equation when it comes to being happy. Its also the know-how and the tools that we choose to use. Maybe happy people do have some advantages. Maybe they have something figured out that other people havent. Maybe they do certain things, have certain lifestyles, or dont do other things and thats the secret of their happiness. By looking at what happy people have in common, we may be able to learn their secrets.

What are some of the biggest issues in your life that you measure your happiness by? What are the biggest relationship issues youre dealing with? You may be nothing like these teens, or exactly like these teens, but here are some typical questions that people send me.

Hey, Chad,

Question for you. Is it at all possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends, or do guys and girls ALWAYS start to like each other??? A couple of girls wont stop talking about this, and I guess I dont know the answer either.

Kevin

Chad-y-oo,

To put it bluntly, there is a guy that I kind of liked, but then he got weird. Doing stuff like grabbing my butt, touching places that should definitely not be touched in any way, trying to kiss me, and always getting close to me. At first, I liked the attention from him. Then, well, it got oldfast! I started to feel worthless, like I was being used like a toy. Only being there for his pleasure and fun. I tried to ignore him at school, but he thought it was a game and figured I was playing hard to get. Then, he would touch and hug me more. I wasnt able to stop him or push him away. I just gave up entirely. Now this is all in public and all quite embarrassing. I really dont know what to do whatsoever. Can you help me?

Terri

Chad,