Mark Oldman - How to Drink Like a Billionaire: Mastering Wine with Joie de Vivre

65 Bleecker Street

New York, NY 10012

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Regan Arts Subsidiary Rights Department, 65 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10012.

Image credits, which constitute an extension of this copyright page, appear on .

First Regan Arts hardcover edition, October 2016.

Library of Congress control number: 2016932846

Copyright 2016 by Mark Oldman

Jacket design by Steve Attardo / Ninetynorth Design

Interior design by Steve Attardo / Ninetynorth Design

Interior illustrations by Joel Holland

Front cover photograph by Jiyang Chen

All other photographs courtesy of the author

ISBN 978-1-942872-14-6

ISBN 978-1-942872-16-0 (ebook)

W E ARE A LL M ORTAL U NTIL THE F IRST K ISS AND THE S ECOND G LASS OF W INE .

E DUARDO G ALEANO ,
URUGUAYAN JOURNALIST AND WRITER

A s we ambled away from the discount warehouse in Sunnyvale, California, giddy from an excess of free samples and the acquisition of underpriced wine, the realization struck me: contrary to prevailing belief, even billionaires do not want to spend recklessly on wine.

I was with my friend Diane, an elegant, down-to-earth woman whose family has made unfathomable riches in Silicon Valley. She is one of the numerous billionaires Ive met who manages to make smart choices about wine. Keenly appreciative of how easy it is lose it all, the billionaires I know tend to focus their energies on the preservation of their wealth.

So in my experience, the superrich are surprisingly careful when ordering wine in restaurantsall too aware of how difficult it is to find value there. They cultivate relationships with good merchants. They understand how to cut through sales patter and gain satisfying returns on their liquid assets. They uncover what insiders are drinking. And many billionaires are unafraid to circumvent the pretention and geekiness that still surrounds so much of wine.

But the fact remains: you dont have to be a billionaire to drink like one.

As I sipped on a glass of cut-price D.P. from Costco, my mission crystallized like a Swarovski necklace: I would teach everyone how to drink like a billionaire. No, this is not something that necessitates spending like an incautious oligarch. In many instances, it is quite the opposite. Drinking like a billionaire means imbibing like someone completely in control, like someone fully in the know or a mere text message away from it.

And so we have this book. In it, you will learn to approach wine like a shrewd member of the one percent, covering how to:

CONSERVE CASH

Billionaires will, of course, spend for special occasion wines, but they rarely order from the reserve list. They are often happiest with moderately priced bottles that drink above their cost. Therefore, well explore ways to maximize your enjoyment of wine without spending more than you have to, including addressing the threshold concept that price is not proportional to quality ().

DRINK LIKE AN INSIDER

The superrich are ahead of the game when it comes learning what the cognoscenti are doing. So we are going to cover key maneuvers such as how to swirl wine for maximum effect ().

BREAK THE RULES

Billionaires dont want to waste their time or sacrifice their pleasure for the sake of outdated or useless rules. Like the iconoclastic winemakers that are so ).

AVOID GETTING BANGED BY A BAD SOMM

We will cover innovative ways to identify and defend against a bad somm ().

HOME IN ON THE BEST VALUES

Billionaires know how to cut through the chaos and cherry-pick the best-valued options that suit their taste. With wine from every conceivable region now flooding the market, nowhere is such discernment more important than in wine selection. I have thus painstakingly assembled Oldmans Ten Best lists (section 3), which distill my twenty-six years of teaching wine into carefully considered rankings of wine types organized by taste preference.

AVOID DOUCHE-DOM

You know that braggadocio spouting off about wine or giving the waiter a hard time? Shes not the billionaire. The billionaire is the one in the corner, ready to wield her quiet power. Let the poseur or grandstander make a scene; the billionaire will dare to say nothing ().

DRINK WITH STYLE

If the infinitely moneyed are cool, it is on their own terms. Think of a drinker who embodies the lan of Richard Branson or Oprah Winfrey. They know how to avoid being slaves to wine trends ().

TALK THE TALK

Good billionaires radiate savoir fairewhether it means knowing the insider lingo that rarely makes it into any blog ().

GIVE GOOD GIFTS

The ultrarich know that while gifts do not necessarily need to be expensive, they should always be perceived as special. This is why I detail how and why to buy a meaningful vintage ().

DUNK COOKIES IN WINE

Most of the billionaires I know are unapologetic about their own enjoyment and that of those around them. Confident enough to ignore the smug evangelists and killjoys who beleaguer wine culture, they wont hesitate to dunk cookies in wine ().

The ethos of this book is a logical next step following the success of my Wine for Billionaires seminars at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, as well as similarly themed events I conduct at my Manhattan home, which I call the wine sanctuary. And it is informed by my work advising high-net-worth clients on their collections and for special events.

Finally, do not confuse the billionaire perspective of this book with the encouragement of snobbery. From my original Anti-Snob Wine Seminars and my first two wine books, Oldmans Guide to Outsmarting Wine and Oldmans Brave New World of Wine, to countless appearances at the countrys top food festivals and the dozens of articles Ive penned for major publications, I strive to puncture pomposity and encourage people of all capacities to drink bravely. As anyone who has spent time with me will attest, I relish deeply the chance to relieve drinkers of wines pretentiousness. It is in this spirit that we shall now, with an insider eye and a flavorful dollop of fun, drink richly.

C ontrary to common belief, paying more doesnt necessarily get you tastier wine. Price can indeed reflect a wines quality, meaning that more dollars will often increase the likelihood that the juice comes from better grapes handled by skillful winemakers. Theres no guarantee, however, that such virtue will translate to a taste that you will find superior. And even if it does, after a certain price pointas low as $20 for some wine typesyou are likely paying less for the wines intrinsic quality and more for other things.