Doctor. - Wise words from across space and time: the official quotable Doctor Who

All those monsters. They say that travel broadens the mind, in which case the Doctors mind must be the broadest of them all. Over a thousand years of rattling around the universe in his big blue box... Imagine all the wisdom hes gathered in his meanderings, all the lessons hes learnt. Perhaps that would be the best part of jumping on board the TARDIS having the greatest tour guide in all of history. He shows you the big stuff, the galaxies and planets and constellations, but the small things too.

The simple things. A pretty painting. A stupid joke. A cup of tea and a jammy dodger. Real life in all its wonder and whimsy. The good news is that we can travel with the Doctor, and his friends and enemies too.

We have been since 23 November 1963. Hes taken us from a junkyard at the end of a lane to the end of time and back again. And there are lessons to be found in his adventures too. Some serious. Some silly. Some profound.

Some potty. And more fezzes than youd expect. In many ways, this has been a nightmarish task. Cherry-picking the Doctors best quotes, quips and sayings from over fifty years of adventures? The man never shuts up and nor do his friends. Long may that continue. For all this we must thank and pay homage to a select group, because first came the word.

We would like to dedicate this compendium to the scriptwriters of Doctor Who; those wits and wise men and women who have toiled late into the night over typewriters and word processors. Across half a century they have put words in the mouths of the Doctor, his companions, friends and enemies. Their desire to tell a rattling good adventure yarn, their quick humour, their outlook on life, the universe and everything, have all given life and sparkle to the words we hear on screen then taken the rest of the way by those brilliant actors. And lets not forget the script editors who kept them on the straight and narrow, provided guidance and contributed their own words of wonder. The quality and sheer inventiveness of their work has always set Doctor Who apart from other TV shows, and that is what we are celebrating in the pages of this book. And the stories keep coming.

Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart once told his daughter that science leads. He said he learnt it from an old friend. What will the same old friend teach you today? Or tomorrow? Or maybe even yesterday? Its all a bit timey-wimey, to be honest. Happy Times and Places! I suppose you might say that I am a citizen of the universe, and a gentleman to boot. THE DOCTOR, THE DALEKS MASTER PLAN

Concentrate on one thing. One thing! THE SECOND DOCTOR, THE POWER OF THE DALEKS Shoes... Must find my shoes. THE THIRD DOCTOR, SPEARHEAD FROM SPACE ... typical Sontaran attitude... perverting the course of human history... perverting the course of human history...

I tell you, Brigadier, theres nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid... and stupid! If the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares on the other two sides, why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one. THE FOURTH DOCTOR, ROBOT I... oh. THE FIFTH DOCTOR, CASTROVALVA You were expecting someone else? THE SIXTH DOCTOR, THE CAVES OF ANDROZANI Oh no, Mel.

Ah, that was a nice nap. Now, down to business. THE SEVENTH DOCTOR, TIME AND THE RANI Who am I? Who am I? THE EIGHTH DOCTOR, DOCTOR WHO (TV MOVIE) Doctor no more. THE WAR DOCTOR, THE NIGHT OF THE DOCTOR Run! THE NINTH DOCTOR, ROSE Hello. OK oh. New teeth.

Thats weird. So, where was I? Oh, thats right. Barcelona. THE TENTH DOCTOR, THE PARTING OF THE WAYS Legs. Still got legs, good!! Arms. Hands.

Ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, Ive had worse. Hair. Hair.

Im a girl! No. No, Im not a girl. And still not ginger. And something else. Something important. Im, Im, Im...

Crashing! Geronimo! THE ELEVENTH DOCTOR, THE END OF TIME Kidneys! Ive got new kidneys. I dont like the colour. THE TWELFTH DOCTOR, THE TIME OF THE DOCTOR

Still dont know why. THE DOCTOR, THE LODGER You may be a doctor, but Im the Doctor. The definite article, you might say. THE DOCTOR, ROBOT CLARA : Doctor who? THE DOCTOR : Oh, dangerous question. CLARA : Whats wrong with dangerous? THE SNOWMEN THE DOCTOR : I help where I can. I will not fight.

OHILA : Because you are the good man as you call yourself? THE DOCTOR : I call myself the Doctor. OHILA : Its the same thing in your mind. THE DOCTOR : Id like to think so. THE NIGHT OF THE DOCTOR ADELAIDE BROOKE : State your name, rank and intention. THE DOCTOR : The Doctor. Fun. THE WATERS OF MARS TYRUM : We are grateful to you, human, for saving Voga. THE WATERS OF MARS TYRUM : We are grateful to you, human, for saving Voga.

THE DOCTOR : Oh, please, dont call me human. Just Doctor will do very nicely, thank you. REVENGE OF THE CYBERMEN THE DOCTOR : Doctor von Wer, at your service. SERGEANT : Doctor who? THE DOCTOR : Thats what I said. THE HIGHLANDERS THE DOCTOR : Im just Lord President of the Supreme Council of Time Lords on Gallifrey. STOR : Your description fits that of one called Doctor.

THE DOCTOR : Well, thats not my fault. Im Lord President, and Im called sir. THE INVASION OF TIME MADGE : Are you the new caretaker? THE DOCTOR : Usually called the Doctor. Or the Caretaker or Get Off This Planet. Though, strictly speaking, that probably isnt a name. THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE Look, three options.

One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name, because I wont be the Doctor any more. THE DOCTOR, THE BEAST BELOW The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, its like a promise you make.

Hes the one who broke the promise. THE DOCTOR, ON THE WAR DOCTOR,