Copyright 2019 by Jeannie Gaffigan
Foreword copyright 2019 by Jim Gaffigan
Cover design by Flag. Cover photograph by Chad Griffith. Cover copyright 2019 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
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First Edition: October 2019
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2019944323
ISBNs: 978-1-5387-5104-6 (hardcover), 978-1-5387-5103-9 (ebook), 978-1-5387-1794-3(B&N signed edition), 978-1-5387-1792-9 (B&N Black Friday edition), 978-1-5387-1793-6 (signed edition)
E3-20191016-JV-PC-COR
For my children: Marre, Jack, Katie, Michael, Patrick, and Bean
When I was asked to write the foreword for When Life Gives You Pearswhich happens to be written by my wife, Jeannie, who is also the mother of my five children and my writing partner of seven comedy specials, two New York Times bestsellers, and one television series (The Jim Gaffigan Show)I had only one question: How much are you going to pay me? Well, it turns out these foreword things pay like nothing. I know. Insane, right? So I guess my primary motivation for writing this has to be because Jeannie Gaffigan is loving, kind, talented, smart, and beautiful. I am excited for as many people as possible to read the story of this incredible woman, who writes with such humor and vulnerability about a time when she and I feared things were not going to be good. Not good at all. After having traveled down this path with my own family, I have come to realize that so many of us have gone through a loved ones life-or-death medical crisis, but those accounts of how they kept themselves sane during such a scary time are rarely shared publicly. I wish I had a book like this book prior to going on our own journey.
Ive never been one for hero worship. Its always struck me as immature or nave. Humans are, after all, human, and tend to disappoint. Yet there is always one exception to every rule. If there was one person who has lived up to the hype and the grand expectations, it would be Jeannie. Of course, Im biased, but Jeannie has consistently left me in awe. This memoir brings to life some of that Jeannie magic that has dazzled her friends, family, and any community she has interacted with since her arrival on this planet, and somehow perfectly captures the unstoppable woman I have laughed with, loved, and fought with for the last twenty years.
There have been countless moments when Ive been enchanted by the life force that is Jeannie. Im not even referring to the bravery and tenacity she displayed in the face of the pear-shaped brain tumor and the seemingly endless recovery that this book so hysterically chronicles. Im talking about the innumerable times when Ive involuntarily mumbled Oh my God under my breath from a sincere bewilderment at who this human is and what she can accomplish. This book brings to life some of that Jeannie magic, which has dazzled her family, friends, and any community she has interacted with since her arrival on this planet.
I met Jeannie in my early thirties. After years of failure and frustration, I had finally found a cynical confidence and was ready to pursue a life focused on my career and only my career. Yet, with Jeannie I was instantly smitten. Like most people when they first meet her, I assumed she was a decade younger than her age and clearly in need of deep breathing exercises, but I couldnt stop thinking about her. I pursued her and the more I pursued, the more I was left mumbling, Oh my God. Here was the first time.
Jeannie and I had gone on one lunch date prior to me arriving at the St. Patricks Youth Center on a spring afternoon. She had explained to me while sharing some overpriced eggs the day before that she was running a not-for-profit called Shakespeare on the Playground. I assumed she was another struggling New York City actor teaching some kids to fill downtime between inevitable rejections. She invited me to stop by sometime so I reluctantly went to the next days rehearsal to check it out. What I encountered stunned me. It wasnt a few kids; it was literally a hundred middle schoolers. And these werent kids holding tap shoes and filled with theater dreams; these were street-smart kids from the nearby city projects who probably had never been inside a Broadway theater or any other one, for that matter. I looked around the room through the sea of children for any helpers and saw two weary adult volunteers from the theater world that Jeannie had caught up in the tornado that was to be my future life partner. I watched as this human cyclone choreographed and inspired the whole operation. There was no support from the school. No national organization behind her. Jeannie, the unemployed actress who did catering jobs most nights, was even paying for the kids snacks. Most impressively, the kids were engaged, interested, and having fun. Jeannie somehow thrived and excelled in the chaos. I had never seen anything like it. Her selfless service to these children made my cynicism melt away immediately. I remember observing her orchestrate the madness of humanity and thought, This woman can do anything. Maybe she can make me a better man. Maybe thats important. Maybe thats even more important than my career.
Well, long story short, Jeannie did NOT make me a better man. Some things are impossible. Okay, fine. The reality is that Jeannies influence on my life and career have been immeasurable. I guess in a way Im like one of the middle schoolers in the St. Patricks Youth Center that Jeannie shaped: a rebellious kid with a little bit of Jeannie-good in me. As you read this story that she so generously shares, I hope that you get to experience a little bit of that for yourself.
Dont you hate it when you have perfected a magnificent schedule and then suddenly you get interrupted by an enormous brain tumor? That totally sucks, right?
As an overwhelmed mother of five with a touring comedian husband and a career as a writer and executive producer, I already felt that one more thing would be the wafer-thin mint that made me explode. The surreal diagnosis of a life-threatening pear-sized mass in my brain that required an urgent craniotomy with absolutely no idea of what kind of life I would be facing afterward was something that I hadnt exactly left room for in my daily itinerary. As a self-confessed control freak, I had to face the fact that I was confronted with something completely out of my control.