ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Its important for me to note that in all of my books previous to this one, I have spent a considerable amount of time on the victims lives and stories, interviewing family and friends, trying to capture the essence of who each victim was, their dreams and goals, profiling their entire lives, taking each from being a simple headline to a sustainable memory. This has always been one of the driving forces of my work, a quality Im known for. I get letters and e-mails and notes from readers expressing their deep appreciation for how I treat victims in the narratives I write.
I point this out because I did not do that in this book. I never intended with this project to write a straightforward true-crime narrative, where the space is available for me to detail a victims life story. This is not that type of book. Therefore, it was hard for me to delve deeply into each of the eight victims lives here. I dont apologize for that, but I want to make my intentions clear.
Thanking Keith Jesperson doesnt seem relevant, though there were times during the five years we spent talking that I did thank him for certain information. Today, as I write this postscript to the book, I feel as though I need a major break from Jespersonmonths to process all that we discussed. Totally write him off? Not sure. For now, I am not talking to him. Not because of anything other than my emotional state and the toll this so-called friendship has taken on my emotional well-being and those around me.
Jesperson is an unfinished story; he is constantly unraveling and dissecting his thoughts, his purpose, who he was, who he is, trying to poke a hole in authority, yes, but also trying to say to the public: You will never comprehend me fully because you are not me. You will never feel what I feel, therefore you couldnt possibly know me or understand what I did.
Secrets, some say, are for keepingand Jesperson will die with many. I am sure of that.
I would also like to acknowledge that I wrote a lot of the more personal sections of this book on my iPad, often lying in bed in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, or sitting in my living room after my afternoon reading, as the memories came. It gave those portions of my life a different perspective from me sitting at my office computer, demanding the memories take their place in the book. As the holidays of 2015 came, and my two living brothers were over, I spoke of those times when Mark, Thomas, Frank, and I were kids. We shared stories. The memories in this book are mine and mine alone. If nothing else, writing this book allows me to tap into a brokenness inside me I knew existed, but had been afraid to confront. And, to that end, Jesperson helped me find it.
I want to thank my mother, Florence Borelli, the Castellassi family, the Fournier family, the Phelps family, the Pavlocks, all my cousins, aunts, and uncles, many of whom were part of this book in memory without ever being mentioned in the text.
My editor, Michaela Hamilton, said this book would be a game changer for me. Michaela has been my biggest fan and championed every true-crime book. She has completely shaped who I am as a true-crime author and reporter and has been instrumental in making this book all that it has become. We worked so hard on every aspect of it. Thank you, Michaela, for all you do.
Equally as important to me as an editor is Norma Perez-Hernandez. Also, Kensington President and CEO Steve Zacharius and publisher Lynn Cully have been nothing but instrumental in backing me up throughout my career. I am grateful for their continued support. I am as equally grateful to Vida Engstrand and Morgan Ewell, the backbone of the Kensington publicity team. I am a lucky author to have such passionate and great people working on my behalf.
Matthew Valentinas, my lawyer and manager, has been a true friend, mentor, all-things-entertainment advisor, and incredibly patient partner in getting this project to the point it is. Matt was my biggest supporter as this project started as an idea. He saw my vision from day one and allowed it to transcend.
An immense, heartfelt thank-you to Sonya M. Cosumano, LMFT, M. Ed., who continues to help me work through a lot of the pain and manage the stress of life.
Ken Robinson did so much more work on the Jane Doe cases (California and Florida) than the narrative reflected. Without him, I could not have completed work on either case, or come to the conclusions regarding Cynthia Wilcox and Jane Doe (Florida) that I have. Ken is a lifelong friend, partner in crime, mentor, one of a few people I can confide in.
Likewise, Paul Moody and Dennis Haley are like no two cops I have ever met and worked with. They accepted me without judgment and seemed grateful for my help, never questioning my intentions or motivations or integrity. They allowed me into the fold and I am forever humbled and honored. I will never stop searching for Jane Does identity, and these men know this about me.
The usual suspects seem redundant to thankyou know who you are.
In no particular order: Jim McIntyre, Thomas Phelan, Suzanne M. Aspy Ofs (for our conversation and your prayers), R. Dinca, OSP guards who were kind, and several people I met while in Portland, Salem, and Gresham researching Jespersons life.
Markie, Tyler, Meranda, thank you for understanding. Thomas and Frank, my two brothers, thanks.
April and Regina, my family, what a strange trip this book has been.
John Kelly, man, oh man, were you ever right. I allowed the Devil in and he possessed me for a time and took control of who I was. I can never thank you enough for all you have done for me, Kelly. Youre one of the most insightful men I know, like a father to me. I love you.
Readers, old and new, my immense gratitude and thanks. This one is for you!