Cade Jay Hathaway - Book Boy

B O O K B O Y

An Autobiography by

CADE JAY HATHAWAY

Also by Cade Jay Hathaway

HAPPY ENDINGS SLEEPOVER

SANDER'S COURAGE

LONG BEFORE MORNING

OPEN SECRETS

THE PRODIGAL SPARROW

UNTIL FOREVER DIES

(An Unabridged Compilation of the First Three Novels)

B O O K B O Y

2016 BY CADE JAY HATHAWAY

All rights reserved by the author.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Hathaway, Cade Jay

Book Boy / Cade Jay Hathaway 1991

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-1974528233 ISBN-10: 1974528235

1. Autobiography of a living person / writer. 2. Cade Jay Hathaway.

3. First person contemporary gay life. 4. CIA hiring practices I. Title

3 rd PrintingPrinted in the United States of America

Set in Adobe Arabic Book Designed by Wilson Rushbrook

Cover Photo by Jean Remington

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and th e above publisher of this book. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrightable materials. Your support of the author's rights is appreciated.

Table of Contents

I'M HERE

FAMILY

LITTLE SCHOOL

MIDDLE SCHOOL

BIG SCHOOL

SCHOOL OF LIFE

THE BIG WORLD

I GOT A JOB

TINY KINGDOM

LASSE

BOOK MAN

SCATTERED FAMILY

IS GAY GOOD?

WHAT DO I KNOW?

END OF ACT ONE

You know who this is dedicated to...

But I'll still write his name here,

Just so I can see it.

Lasse.

Author's Note: Prior to publication, this manuscript was required to be examined and approved for content by the information office of the Central Intelligence Agency. Passages that describe any kind of classified operational information have been redacted. The reader will recognize such passages by the blackened text. Fuck you

Author's Note: Prior to publication, this manuscript was required to be examined and approved for content by the information office of the Central Intelligence Agency. Passages that describe any kind of classified operational information have been redacted. The reader will recognize such passages by the blackened text. Fuck you

HI. HOW'S IT GOING? Everything's pretty cool with me. I'm going to tell you a story. It's my story.

So, who gives a crap what some gay dude from Auburn, Washington has to say about anything? Exactly! I agree with you.

But then I wrote some books that, it turns out, many people like, and I got my own little (and I emphasize 'little') radio show. And then things began to build. And all of a sudden, the people who read the books and listened to the show on a regular basis wanted to know more about the guy they had spent so many hours with, by either reading or listening to his musings.

So, the idea for this book came to be. Mostly because apparently the aforementioned books touched people who happened to be gay like me.

I find it so strange that the subject of homosexuality is even a topic worthy of discussion in the year 2016. It amazes me that major religions, political campaigns, and discriminationsubtle and overtcontinues to swirl around gay people. It's the last great bigotry, along with fat shaming, that is alive, well, and doing its best to hang on in this otherwise politically correct universe in which we find ourselves.

At least racism is covert. Oh, it still exists. It's just that racismlike the shame gay folk have had to endure over the centuriesremains in the closet. It's only dusted off these days at big mouthed Republican gatherings and on FOX News.

But I digress.

This book is about me, yes, and only because I know me. But it is any gay man or woman's story too. I'll share my life with you, and we'll keep score as to how many times my experiences mirror yours. I don't expect they'll be so different.

And that is where the value of this book lies. Because whenever we realize that we are not alone, forward progress is achieved. Loneliness is one thing, but to feel completely alone is a torture that no one, of any age, should ever be forced to endure. Therefore, I make you a promise: I won't hold back. Good, bad, indifferent, or otherwise, I will tell you my story as it is. I promise no exaggerations to make a point. And I don't claim to have any answers, much less all of them. When I do know the answer, I'll let you in on it. When I don't, I'll tell you that I don't.

Are there other books that could do better? Dozens if not hundreds. But this book is unique because I know that we both have a great deal in common from the start, or you wouldn't have read this far.

Is my life perfect? Nope. Sometimes it sucks beyond belief. Do I have a good life? Nope. I have a great life. And though I'm only twenty-five years old as I write this, I'm happy to share with you what I know.

So, what do I know? That's a good place to start.

I'm Here.

O NCE UPON A TIME I was a little angel. There are pictures of my mom when she was pregnant with me. She is happy, smiling in every shot. A particular favorite of mine is one where she has her arms around her belly like she's giving me the first of many hugs to come.

She bought all of the baby books so she would know what to do with me once I got here. She went to all of those silly breathing classes, and basically drove my dad into the ground with her cravings and Jekyll and Hyde mood swings. And then on a Sunday morning in Tacoma, WashingtonJanuary 20, 1991 to be exactthey rolled her into the maternity ward of St. Joseph's Franciscan Medical Center and six hours later I made my debut.

By all accounts I was welcomed like a royal baby. I'm surprised that the nuns didn't post a notice

at the main gate informing the world that Ruth Shirley Hathaway was Safely Delivered of a Prince. Her sweet Cade was lying in the bassinet next to her bed just taking it all in and making plans for world domination. If only.

Instead, I was rushed into emergency because my lungs were filled to the brim with a thick, viscous fluid that was determined to do away with me. This one was bigger than the little sucker dealie could cope with, so it was time for the big guns. They drilled a little hole into my chest to deflate one lung so the fluid could be sucked out. Kind of a negative pressure procedure, they told my parents.

Once that happened, and one side was working, they would rinse and repeat for lung number two.

It was touch and go for a few minutes, but it seems I came out of it none the worse for wear.

Then I landed next to mom in the baby bed and enjoyed my first big poop.

A few days later, before I left the hospital, some nice people came and took me for a little field trip. They were all smiles when they collected me, and promised my folks I'd be back within the hour. Little did I know at the time that my mom and dad were in on the conspiracy. Had they sold me to Romanian Gypsies? The circus? Was I to be used as an organ

farm for little people? Nope. Nothing that benign.

I can only imagine what I must have thought. Just a few days old, having both lungs drilled into within moments of birth, still in pain (because I'm told I cried all the damned time).

All that, and yet they still managed to take me into the little room that smelled of pure isopropyl alcohol (I'm guessing about the alcohol!), strap me into a contraption more chilling than an electric chair, and... Hey! Wait a minute! What the fu... Hey! Buddy! What are you doing with my dick?! HEY! That's MY dick! What the aaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!! I screamed. They were chopping off part of my little baby penis! Who in the fuck is okay with this?!!! One minute I was a fully intact member of the male human race. The next minute they attacked my member. God, how it hurt!