Chai Camyar - Ali & Ali: the deportation hearings: a play

Contents Be Good Share and Co-operate Use Your Words Not Your Fists Talk to Animals The Book of Sammi chapter 12, verse 4 Production History The outstanding success of The Adventures of Ali & Ali and the aXes of E vil in 2004 inspired this second Ali & Ali misadventure. Ali & Ali: The Deportation Hearings was produced under the title Ali & Ali 7: Hey Brother, Can You Spare Some Hope and Change? by Neworld Theatre and presented in association with Cahoots Theatre Company at The Cultch (Vancouver East Cultural Centre) from April 14 to 24, 2010, with the following cast and crew: Ali Ababwa Marcus Youssef Ali Hakim Camyar Chai Hong Kong Lee Raugi Yu Sukhvinder Dhaliwal Laara Sadiq Directed by Guillermo Verdecchia Designed by Rob Lewis and Jonathon Ryder It was subsequently rewritten and retitled and then presented at Factory Theatre in Toronto, October 7 to 17, 2010, with the following cast and crew: Ali Ababwa Marcus Youssef Ali Hakim Guillermo Verdecchia Hong Kong Paul Sun Hyung Lee Sukhvinder Dhaliwal Anita Majumder Directed by Guillermo Verdecchia with Soheil Parsa and Jivesh Parasram Designed by Rob Lewis and Jonathon Ryder Characters ALI ABABWA stateless refugee from Agraba; a Copt ALI HAKIM stateless refugee from Agraba; a Sammi HONG KONG Ali & Alis actor SUKI (Sukhvinder Dhaliwal) RCMP constable TOM BUTLER (pre-recorded cameo appearance) He was the manager in Josie and the Pussycats and the mayor in The Killing . YouTube him. Ali & Ali The Deportation Hearings VOICE-OVER Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the rumours are true. Those ambulant Agrabanians, Ali and Ali, are back with a new show! Straight from Salims Falafel Shoppe, theyre here, theyre live, and this time, theyve hired a MONGOLIAN ! Yes, the Emirs of Entertainment, the Wallahs of Whacky are proud to present Yo Mama, Osbama (or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Half-Black President) . PROJECTION (text) Act 1, Scene 1 VOICE-OVER Co-developed for six years through three workshops and eight readings, in collaboration with Immigrant Experience Theatre Company and Fresh Off the Boat Performance Collective.

Presented with the generous support of Puppets Not Pain, Ali and Ali is proud to present Scene 1 of Yo Mama, Osbama: The Night E verything Changed . PROJECTION (text) November 4, 2008. The Night Everything Changed HONG KONG plays JASWINDER , the daughter. BINDI , the wife , is a bunraku puppet, manipulated by ALI ABABWA . JASWINDER watches TV . election night. election night.

The sound of a CNN broadcast, then a creaky door opening, wind blowing, and the door closing. Enter ALI HAKIM as MOHANDES , brushing snow off his shoulders and clutching a Tim Hortons cup. MOHANDES Bad news, nah. I have been laid off my occupation at chicken processor plant. BINDI Oh, Mohandes. What will we do? MOHANDES Make me some vindaloo.

BINDI We have no money for ingredients. MOHANDES Oh, Lakshmi, why is the global economy melting down? I have Ph.D. in nuclear physics but here am I, a pauper in a cold country. JASWINDER Dad. Come and watch this. MOHANDES What is it, Jasmine? JASWINDER Barack Hussein Osbama.

MOHANDES Oh yes, the black fellow. ( makes monkey noises ) JASWINDER Dont do that, Dad. I think hes going to become president of the United States. MOHANDES Oh sure. And I am going to become president of the Canadian Atomic Energy Institute-nah. One day. One day.

MOHANDES I apologize, my daughter, to make such a racist comment. It is because of the pain I am feeling. Bindi, my wife, I am sorry to be such a failure. You deserve better. You should have married Nehru Netanyahu, the carpet king of Bangalore. BINDI I married you, Mohandes, and you are not a failure.

As my grandmother used to say, Life is like a box of gulab jamun. You never know when JASWINDER The results from Florida are coming in! They gather around the TV . They are transfixed by the miracle unfolding. MOHANDES, BINDI & JASWINDER By the blue epidermis of Krishna JASWINDER Its really happening. This is history. This is a whole new era of hope and change.

MOHANDES Im not convinced. Is it legal for a black man to be president? JASWINDER Dont you see? E verythings different now . The phone rings. MOHANDES If thats any boys sniffing around to take her to Club Shambar, you tell them Jaswinder is studying. BINDI Its for you, Mohandes. Its the Canadian Atomic Energy Institute-nah.

They want you to be their president. MOHANDES Oh Bindi. JASWINDER I love you, Dad. MOHANDES I love you too, Jaswinder. BINDI Everything really is different now. Lights. Applause. Maybe. Maybe.

ALI HAKIM ( to audience ) Thank you. ALI ABABWA ( to audience ) Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for coming to Factory Theatre Studio Shithole. ALI HAKIM Allow us to introduce ourselves. ALI ABABWA I am Ali Ababwa. ALI HAKIM And I Allah be praised am not. ALI ABABWA We are stateless refugees ALI HAKIM from Agraba.

ALI ABABWA & ALI HAKIM Here are our papers. ALI ABABWA We came to the United States of Canada six years ago to do our theatre-play World Dreaming Together . ALI HAKIM It was a very dark time. PROJECTION (image) George W. Bush burning. Like a bush ALI ABABWA But now things are different.

ALI HAKIM Where once the Devil himself led the West into two wars and a global clash of civilizations ALI ABABWA now a well-spoken, Nobel Prizewinning black man leads the West into two wars and a clash of civilizations. But hes a Democrat! To those who doubt the transformational power of the pan-African socialist presidents reign ALI HAKIM we say: Shut the fuck up. ALI ABABWA You have to admit, the mulatto fellow PROJECTION (image) Obama shirtless They ululate excitedly. is pretty sexy. And lets face it, hes about as good as were ever going to get. ALI HAKIM Sure Guantanamos still open.

ALI ABABWA And thousands of people have been blown to bits by drone attacks. ALI HAKIM And the U.S. is spying on ALI ABABWA But have you heard him speak? ALI HAKIM So eloquent ALI ABABWA and heartfelt and that chocolatey skin! Somehow its better hearing all that stuff from a black man. ALI HAKIM So in tribute to the president of your great country ALI ABABWA we are proud to present our brand new theatre-play ALI HAKIM Yo Mama, Osbama (or ALI ABABWA How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Half-Black President) ALI HAKIM co-starring one of Canadas best-known yellow actors ALI ABABWA & ALI HAKIM Hong Kong Lee. HONG KONG ( aside to ALI ABABWA and AL I HAKI M ) My names Sun Hyung ALI HAKIM ( aside to HONG KONG ) Shut up, fool. You have no lines here.

HONG KONG ( to ALI ABABWA and ALI HAKI M ) And Obamas not ALI ABABWA Let us sing. ALI HAKIM, ALI ABABWA & HONG KONG ( singing ) A new new world A really new new new day When you hope and change Yes, we can! Please please please please Let it be a whole new world with you Osbama ALI ABABWA ( to audience ) Oh, the night President Osbama was elected, remember? ALI HAKIM You went crazy. ALI ABABWA We all did. Dont you just love it when black people are happy? We watched through window of restaurant on College, our noses pressed against the glass. ALI HAKIM ( to ALI ABABWA ) No. We were with Salim at Falafel Shoppe.

ALI ABABWA ( to ALI HAKI M ) No, we were outside restaurant. ALI HAKIM No. We were with Salim. Meeting at Falafel Shoppe, remember? ALI ABABWA ( to audienc e ) The MODERATE Falafel Shoppe, ladies and gentlemen. For more information about Ali & Ali ALI HAKIM and the 1001 varieties of bubble tea available at Salims Friendly Arabian Falafel Shoppe ALI ABABWA please visit our website: www ALI HAKIM ululates. ALI ABABWA dot com.