Kambalu - The Jive Talker: Or, How to get a British Passport
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Samson Kambalus father wore three-piece, London-made suits from the Sixties. Hed planned to be a doctor but settled for hospital administration and a peripatetic lifestyle with his ever expanding family in tow. He is the Jive Talker of this extraordinary memoir -- a man of thwarted ambition, boundless optimism and manic philosophising, he died of AIDS in 1995, bequeathing his son the Diptych -- an eclectic library of science, philosophy and English language classics a passion for words and a boundless imagination.In this completely original, often subversive, book, Samson Kambalu writes of his childhood in Malawi, a country few are able to pinpoint on a map. As the family moves from feast to real poverty and deprivation, and back to plenty again, depending on their fathers professional fortunes, we are introduced to life in a country in which no dissent is tolerated, where political opponents are disappeared and a portrait of Life President Dr Hastings Kamuzu Banda...
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THE JIVE TALKER
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author's and publisher's rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
ISBN 9781407014760
Version 1.0
www.randomhouse.co.uk
Published by Jonathan Cape 2008
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Copyright Samson Kambalu 2008
Samson Kambalu has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This book is a work of non-fiction based on the life, experiences and recollections of the author. In some limited cases the names of people, dates and the sequence or detail of events have been changed. The author has stated to the publishers that, except in such minor respects not affecting the substantial accuracy of the work, the contents of this book are true.
This electronic book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser
First published in Great Britain in 2008 by
Jonathan Cape
Random House, 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road,
London SW1V 2SA
www.rbooks.co.uk
Addresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk/offices.htm
The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 9781407014760
Version 1.0
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LYRICS
'19', Words and Music by Mike Oldfield, Paul Hardcastle, William Coutrie and Jonas McCord 1985, Reproduced by permission of EMI Music Ltd, London W8 5SW
'Girl Watcher', words and music by Ronald Killette 8c Wayne Pittman Copyright 1968 Music Sales Corporation, USA/Embassy Music Corporation. Campbell Connelly & Company Limited. Used by permission of Music Sales Limited. All Rights Reserved. International Copyright Secured.
'Pump up the Jam' by Technotronic by kind permission of BMC Publishing.
All Along the Watchtower', lyrics by Bob Dylan 1968; renewed 1996, Dwarf Music. Administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
'Come Together', lyrics by John Lennon / Paul McCartney 1969 Sony/ATV Music Publishing. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
'(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction', written by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards, published by ABKCO Music, Inc., 1965 Renewed ABKCO Music, Inc., www.abkco.com.
'Lovin' You', words and music by Minnie Riperton and Richard Rudolph. Copyright 1972 (Renewed) by Embassy Music Corporation (BMI) and Dickiebird Music (BMI). Dickiebird Music administered Worldwide by Embassy Music Corporation (BMI). International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Music Sales Limited.
'The End', words and music by The Doors. Copyright 1967 doors Music Co., Copyright Renewed. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
'Shine On You Crazy Diamond', words and music by Roger Waters and David Gilmour, Roger Waters Music Overseas Ltd. & Pink Floyd Music Publishers Ltd. All rights on behalf of itself administered by Warner/Chappell Music Ltd, London W6 8BS.
TEXT
Schistosomiasis (p.79) from The British Medical Association Illustrated Medical Dictionary, edited by Martyn Page (Dorling Kindersley, 2002). Copyright 2002 Dorling Kindersley Limited, London. Reproduced by permission of Penguin Books Ltd.; Have you notheard ... (p. 96) from A Nietzsche Reader, Friedrich Nietzsche, translated by R.J. Hollingdale (Penguin Classics, 1977). Introduction, selection and translation copyright R.J. Hollingdale; What if some day ... (p. 116) from The Gay Science, by Friedrich Nietzsche, translated by Walter Kaufman 1974 by Random House, Inc.; All the highest forms ... (p. 199) from Love, Sex and Tragedy: Why Classics Matter, Simon Goldhill (John Murray, 2004); I've turned full circle ... (p. 220) from The Guitar Handbook, with permission of Curtis Brown Group Ltd, London on behalf of Ralph Denyer Copyright Ralph Denyer 1982; 'You Wanna Play Rough...' (p. 263) from Scarface (1983), Courtesy of Universal Studios Licensing LLLP.
In memory of Jane and Aaron
If the natives are not elevated by their contacts with Europeans, they are sure to be deteriorated.
Dr David Livingstone
I am no man, I am dynamite.
Friedrich Nietzsche
FROM HOLY BALL EXERCISES AND EXORCISMS,
CHANCELLOR COLLEGE, ZOMBA:
Whao! Jesus! Just come down on earth and see this!
Work of an artist.
NUKA 02/08/00 1715HRS
Wonders and puzzles always succeed with free wine.
STEVE
Blasphemy.
ANONYMOUS
When my Scottish fiance and I decided to get married, the consul at the High Commission in Malawi asked me: Are you marrying Susan to get a British passport?' My reply to that was deliberate. 'Not really' I said. The consul regarded me for a moment and filled in 'NO'.
'The answer is NO, OK? The answer is NO,' he said.
My father wore three-piece suits that he had ordered from London in the sixties and seventies when he could still afford them. Back then he looked like Nat King Cole, but when I was growing up, he looked like a scarecrow. This was not because his suits were too old (for a good suit can last for ever) but because my mother was obsessive about hygiene. When my father, who was a clinical officer, returned from his weekly round in the hospital wards, she would undress him in the backyard, before he entered the house, and wash his suit to get rid of the tetanus, whooping cough, measles, mumps, TB and other dangerous diseases that she thought she could trace within the familiar scent of aspirin on him. For some reason she did not trust the local dry-cleaners for that kind of job. Her washing machine was the big boulder in the middle of the yard; she would soak the suit in hot water and Sunlight soap and mash it up to a pulp with her strong hands. Thereafter an eerie silence would descend upon the house because the sight of the suit hanging on the line used to scare away all the birds from the surrounding trees.
But my father did not mind looking like a scarecrow. He said he was a philosopher and walked with his head held high in the sky like a giraffe. His favourite study was the toilet. Apart from the fact that it was the only private space in the house, he believed that it was from the toilet that all great ideas came. It was not a coincidence, he said, that Martin Luther conceived the Reformation in the toilet. Our toilet was therefore usually stuffed with an eclectic mix of books from his huge two-part bookshelf in the living room, which he called the Diptych. Many of the books were by his favourite writer, the nineteenth-century German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. My father said that Nietzsche was the perfect philosopher for the toilet because of his searing aphoristic style and cold truths. He had every book that Nietzsche had ever written among the piles of paperbacks by the side of the toilet: The Birth of Tragedy, Untimely Meditation, Human, All Too Human, Daybreak, The Gay Science, Thus Spake Zarathustra, Beyond Good and Evil, On the Genealogy of Morals, The Case of Wagner, The Twilight of the Idols, The Antichrist, Nietzsche vs. Wagner, The Will to Power, Ecce Homo
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