Elizabeth Searle - My body to you

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title	:	My Body to You Iowa Short Fiction Award
author	:	Searle, Elizabeth.
publisher	:	University of Iowa Press
isbn10 | asin	:	087745387X
print isbn13	:	9780877453871
ebook isbn13	:	9781587292149
language	:	English
subject	American fiction.
publication date	:	1993
lcc	:	PS3569.E1766M9 1993eb
ddc	:	813/.54
subject	:	American fiction.

Page i My Body to You

Page ii The Iowa Short Fiction Award Prize money for the award is provided by a grant from the Iowa Arts Council

Page iii My Body to You Elizabeth Searle University of Iowa Press Iowa City

Page iv The publication of this book is supported by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts in Washington D.C., a federal agency. University of Iowa Press, Iowa City 52242 Copyright (c) 1993 by Elizabeth Searle All rights reserved Printed in the United States of America Design by Richard Hendel No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, without permission in writing from the publisher. This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to actual events or persons is entirely coincidental. Printed on acid-free paper Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Searle, Elizabeth, 1962 My body to you/Elizabeth Searle. p. cm.(The Iowa short fiction award) ISBN 0-87745-387-x PS3569.E1766M9 1993 813'.54-dc20 92-34205 CIP 97 96 95 94 93 C 5 4 3 2 1

Page v For my parents, and for you, newt

Page vii Contents My Body to You 1 News 17 Round Objects 31 Alice Egner 48 Virgins 57 What to Do in an Emergency 74 Gone 92 Losing Weight 103 Tell Me about It 118 First Most Beautiful Woman in the World 134 Not Herself 140 White Eggplant 158 Number 8 167

Page ix Acknowledgments In a slightly different form, "Round Objects," "Virgins," and "Number 8" first appeared in Epoch, ''News" in the Roberts Writing Awards 1990 Annual, "Alice Egner'' in the Indiana Review, "What to Do in an Emergency" inChelsea, "Gone" (as "Missing LaDonna") in Redbook, "Tell Me about It" and "Losing Weight" in the California Quarterly, "First Most Beautiful Woman in the World" in the South Carolina Review, "Not Herself" in Boulevard, "White Eggplant" in Ploughshares, and "My Body to You" in the Kenyon Review and in Lovers, an anthology published by Crossing Press. I would like to thank DeWitt Henry, Michael Koch,and Don Lee; Ellen Levine; front-line readers Gail Donovan, Ann Harleman, Bill Henderson, Keith Smith, and Eberle Umbach; teachers Stuart Friebert, Meredith Steinbach, and Diane Vreuls; and especially John Hawkes.

Page 1 My Body to You Above me, a boy is trying to guess my sex. He hangs from a metal bar by his long arms, his body suspended at a slant over mine. As the train jolts into motion, my head almost bumps his crotch. Maybe my new and bristling crewcut singes his zipper. He smells of subway: secondhand smoke, smothered winter sweat, year-old urine. The subhuman way, you call it. Eyes low, I scoot back on the plastic seat, my high-laced hightops pressing the shuddery rubber floor, firm as a surfer's bare feet on a board. Between my ankles, I grip my swollen overnight bag. I feel his eyes dart over my torso, lighting on three triangle points of interest. My oversized brown leather jacketyour jacketis zipped; my jeans are baggy. My face is downcast. Nothing gives me away.

Page 2 "We go-oh" a drunk-sounding little kid calls out helpfully, his or her voice rising above the whine of the rails. Metal shrieks. Loose face flesh jiggles. The train rocks and we rock with it. The hanging boy's body sways, long and loosely jointed. Under my zipped jacket, my breasts bounce. Can he see? My head feels bare, no more soft curtain of hair to hide behind. I raise only my eyes, only an inch.

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