Zilm - Waiting Room

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Book:
Waiting Room
Author:
Zilm / Jennifer
Publisher:
BookThug
Genre:
Books / Detective and thriller
Year:
2016
City:
Toronto;Ontario
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Take a seat in (the) Waiting Room, the first full-length collection of poetry from award-winning writer Jennifer Zilm. Featuring a mlange of styles and forms (including sonnets, erasures, unsent emails, footnotes, session notes, CVs, tweets, and other disparate source materials), Zilm invites you to investigate the curious boundaries of various therapeutic terrains: from the esoteric world of graduate school to a mash-up of Dantes purgatory and Vancouvers Downtown Fastside, to the improbable written intersections of van Goghs doctors and Sylvia Plaths therapist. All the while, Writing Room subverts, shares, and repurposes the all-too-familiar vocabularies of psychiatry, dentistry, the Bible, and academia in a humorous investigation into what it means to wait, to be a patient and to be patient to be a student and to the a teacher to be a healer and to be healed.;Sugar discipline :dental poems -- ll. Academy of fragments -- lll. Singular room occupancy ; cantos from Main & Hastings -- lV. This holy room -- the great listeners.

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Waiting Room Jennifer Zilm BookThug / 2016

FIRST EDITION
copyright 2016 by Jennifer Zilm ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

The production of this book was made possible through the generous assistance - photo 2

The production of this book was made possible through the generous assistance of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council. BookThug also acknowledges the support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund and the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax Credit and the Ontario Book Fund. Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Zilm, Jennifer, author
Waiting room / Jennifer Zilm. First edition. Title. Title.

PS8649.I52W53 2016 C8116 C2016-900591-7 C2016-900592-5

for Graham and for all the doctors

Contents

I. Sugar Discipline: Dental Poems II. Academy of Fragments III. Singular Room Occupancy: Cantos from Main & Hastings IV. This Holy Room/the great listeners Notes on the Poems and Hodayot

There is no refuge from listening to your own silence in the academy,in the pulpit, or in the safety of institutional bureaus and boards. Noah Eli Gordon, The Source

I. Sugar Discipline

Long-Lined Sonnet For Dr.

Young

At the end of my benefits my mouth holds a temporary crown. Along the Naugahyde arms of the tilted-back chair, my arms are smooth and thickthe skin of an endangered African animal. My iPod holds a slight density against the swell of bare belly, cold beneath my T-shirt. One earphone is in, Eliot speaks with the voice of the poetSt. Louis faking Queens Englishover the buzzing insistence of the drill, latex fingers pulling at my swollen, etherized gums: these were the bones that were his eyes? The hygienist, middle-aged, Mexican, comments on the plasma screen the one hockey game I went to was Queen Elizabeth in her red dress, dropping thewhat do you call the rubber disk?onto the ice. Dr.

Young, twenty-four and carving, ignores her. Beneath her breath she remarks that beneath amalgams there is almost always decay. Shaved calcium, dental cement, in my raised chair: I am enthroned.

Reasons You Love The Dentist

Your mouth straightjacketed you can finally stop talking. You will be rewarded with paste and waxed paper for keeping still. The drill is white noise: you creatively attend to silence.

A rush of water squirted into the lower bowl of your mouth reassures you: you wont ever be thirsty. In the late 1980S , Dr. Killick patiently explained his sterilization techniques to your eight-year-old sister so she wouldnt fear contracting AIDS. The chair is a classroom: you are privy to a new discourse, new words, old words reformed. You are the centre of attention. There are minerals in your mouth that you have never even considered.

Soon your swollen lips will thaw. Your gums will resurrect and your tongue will explore Dr. Youngs architecture. Now this hygienist whose Christian name youve forgotten acts as a pushy yoga instructor, forcing you to focus on breathing: through your nose, through your nose. You grind your teeth, a war vet digs holes in your molars, carves crevices at the back of your incisors. Yet Dr.

Mouth.	Guard.
Molded to	the specifics of
your reconstructed	mouth,
translucent, a	ghost of
molar	allowed for,
hypothetical	mass of porcelain;
future	implant or
bridge.	Clasp it
over the	half-moon,
bottom	teeth.

Cripple your sibilants. Go to bed.

II.

Academy of Fragments

Erase everything you have written, but keep the notes in the margins. Osip Mandelstam

The Committee Meeting

Jet-lagged, you say to the Doctors who have gathered before you: Whenever I stand to presenta paper I feel like a charlatan. Your Swedish Doctor (associate) bald with ginger stubble, responds: I am afraid this noun is not partof my English vocabulary. Pop quiz: How many synonyms can you think up in the next twenty seconds? You say: a faker. Suddenly there is scholarly consensus. Your American Doctor (assistant) clean-shaven with a Tyrolean chin and the faint scent of a near-forgotten stint at a Jerusalem Bible College, says: There was a recent article aboutthispeer reviewedin the Journal of Higher Education: 80% of academics feel the same way. Your Head Doctor, the white-haired nun, is outnumbered. Smiles ensue and satisfy. Its never scholarship until statistics are involved. (Or is it BBA from Jerusalem Bible College and MTS from Ivy State? The chronology on the CV isnt clear). (Or is it BBA from Jerusalem Bible College and MTS from Ivy State? The chronology on the CV isnt clear).

Three times in one hour he says, Thats the best question Ive heard all day. One time he even says it to you. His attention is focused on uncovering the Semitic antecedents of the past participle used in the Beatitudes. He has proven that Syriac manuscripts found in caves circling the Dead Sea convey the word blessed as linguistically identical to the word lucky. There are blue silk patches adhering to his elbows. He could have done anything with his life. He could have managed a furniture warehouse in Michigan; pastored a predestined congregation of fourth generation Dutch immigrants; he could have been the Governor of California but he chose to venture north to this Instro-University town to read Hebrew with you in the basement seminar room, with the reproduction of Raphaels Madonna and Child above the white ornamental fireplace. Blessings be.

You are so lucky.

Footnotes To The Associate Professor

He encourages He manages to be simultaneously bald, a redhead, and sexy. Post-Enlightenment, Postmodern: He digs through the bones of Galilean synagogues. His doctoral students always put male names in their dissertation titles. His Scandinavian children are all blonde. They are Church of Sweden agnostics.

They sing Christmas hymns to the last surviving Swedish saint.

On your campus tour he shakes your hand the way you always thought a man should shake a womans hand: firm, yet gentle, with the recognition of a mattered presence. He laughs knowingly when you say, Jesus must clearly havebeen ginger. He writes your voice on the chalkboard in the main seminar room, the one that isnt in the basement, the one displayed to guests, to prospectives. You dont remember what you said, but perhaps it was something about the elusive Messiah, about methods of excavating a parable. You only recall his slender yet masculine hand tracing white letters on the smooth, fecund green. 3 Once he is talking about whether to use the 3rd person, the Royal We or the I in scholarship, and as he says subsequently as sub-SEE-quently, you immediately begin to compose a letter to the OED to amend their pronunciation guide.

One of his research interests is Identity Formation. When they tear you apart for using the words

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