Stella Duffy - Doctor Who

Contents

Arriving at the ancient Musaeum of Alexandria, the Doctor is keen to explore. He might find some new recorder music, and Jamie might discover a new porridge recipe, while Zoe will love the antiquated ideas about astrophysics. But once inside, they all find rather more than they bargained for, and it soon becomes clear they may never leave the Museaum alive...

Stella Duffy has written thirteen novels, fifty short stories, and ten plays. The Room of Lost Things and State of Happiness were both longlisted for the Orange Prize, and she has twice won Stonewall Writer of the Year. She adapted her novel State of Happiness for feature film with Zentropa/Fiesta, and HBO have optioned both of her Theodora novels for a TV mini-series. She has twice won the CWA Short Story Dagger in 2002 and 2013. Her collected short stories, Everything is Moving, Everything is Joined is published by Salt.

Stella is also a theatre-maker, an Associate Artist with Improbable, and artistic director of Shaky Isles Theatre. She is the founder and Co-Director of Fun Palaces www.funpalaces.co.uk

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 978 1 448 14238 5

www.randomhouse.co.uk

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Published in 2014 by BBC Books, an imprint of Ebury Publishing.
A Random House Group Company

Copyright Stella Duffy 2014
Cover design: Two Associates Woodlands Books Ltd 2014

Stella Duffy has asserted her moral right to be identified as the author of the Work in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

Doctor Who is a BBC Wales production for BBC One.
Executive producers: Steven Moffat and Brian Minchin

BBC and DOCTOR WHO (word marks, logos and devices) are trademarks of the British Broadcasting Corporation and are used under licence.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.

The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at www.randomhouse.co.uk

Editorial director: Albert DePetrillo
Series consultant: Justin Richards
Project editor: Steve Tribe

For my god-daughter and splendid companion Lily, with love

The Doctor looked up, frowning. Did you hear that, Zoe?

I did, Doctor.

They both waited, silent, then it came again, a long, low drone, followed by a higher screech.

You know what that means, dont you? the Doctor asked.

I do, Zoe answered, although she did not turn away from the long page of equations she was scribbling in her notebook.

The Doctor picked up his book, turned a page and, before hed read half a line, was startled by an even louder screech. Does he do it deliberately?

Zoe worked on her calculations, seemingly oblivious to the Doctors increasing irritation.

Im talking to you, Zoe.

Yes, you are, she looked up from her notebook, And no, I dont suppose Jamie chooses to irritate you, any more than you deliberately interrupt my calculations every time I work on them.

We have a computer for that kind of thing, you know.

And you keep saying my upbringing was too reliant on technology. Look.

Zoe held up her notebook, where she was working on five different calculations, in an almost 3-D pattern.

Ah, Minkowskis spacetime theorem applied to the motion of the Eagle Nebula. Very good, the Doctor said. But youll find the differential youre after in the third line, second column across, is out by zero point two three five eight

But I

Squared.

Zoe looked at her calculations and saw immediately that the Doctor was right. She turned the page and began again, and the Doctor tried to temper his usually brusque tone. I wasnt telling you off.

I got it wrong. Now Ill get it right.

There was silence for a moment, until the screech sounded again before reverting to a drone, and the Doctor groaned.

Patience, Doctor, Zoe said, Its how he relaxes. I work on calculations, you play your recorder, Jamie plays the bagpipes.

The long, low drone in the distance began slowly to morph into a tune of sorts, though not one either the Doctor or Zoe recognised.

There are other ways to pass the time, Zoe interacting with your fellow travellers, for instance. What youre calculating is already known deep within

The TARDIS. Yes. And Ill check my answers against the TARDISs data.

The Doctor shook his head, raising his voice over Jamies bagpipes, even louder now. Theres more to astronomy than the distance between places. Its about the places themselves, the histories. Its not just about the the

The music of the spheres? Zoe finished the Doctors sentence, laughing, and opened the door as Jamie marched in, bag under his arm, chanter in his mouth, cheeks puffed out to blow. He finished his tune on a long, low note and bowed, then he backed out of the door and returned with a tray holding three bowls of steaming porridge.

Breakfast is served.

The Doctor and Zoe exchanged glances; theyd had Jamies porridge before.

Sugar and cream? Zoe asked hopefully.

Sacrilege! Jamie answered. Proper porridge is soaked overnight and made with salt, never sugar.

Sorry, Jamie, the Doctor interrupted him, but salts not good for the heart, and I need to worry about that more than either of you.

Youre not that old, Doctor, Jamie said, winking at Zoe.

I didnt mean my age, I meant The Doctor shook his head. Its neither here nor there, now that the porridge is very much here. He looked at the tray Jamie was holding, the congealed mess in each bowl looking even less appealing as it cooled. Im just not very hungry.

Ive spent all this time Jamie was crestfallen.

Zoe stood behind the young Scotsman looking directly at the Doctor. Be nice, she mouthed.

The Doctor opened his mouth to complain, then he saw the droop of Jamies shoulders, the possibility behind that of his raised temper and a bad day ahead for all three of them. Fine. But not a big bowl. As I said, Im not very

Hungry, I know, Jamie said, smiling. So Ill give you the middle-sized bowl. I think youll find it just right.

The Doctor reluctantly took the bowl held out to him, and as he did so another noise began. A noise that brought a light to his eyes.

Ah, in that case, Im afraid well have to shelve the porridge. Ive no doubt it will be just as good when we get back.

But it wont be hot

As I said, just as good, the Doctor answered. Put the tray away and your pipes, we dont want them damaged if its a tricky landing. Zoe, notebook down, eyes on the screen. Jamie, stand steady, were coming in to land.

Zoe watched the man she often thought of as tired beyond his years, hopping nimbly around the console, stowing Jamies bagpipes here and the porridge well out of view over there. He was almost smiling, or at least his frown was now gone. Hed been bored, she realised. A couple of days with just her and Jamie for company, and the Doctor was edgy and impatient. Now, the TARDIS pumping out its landing noises, a sound Zoe herself welcomed with excitement and trepidation, she saw that the Doctor was awake, alert, fully himself. Other people might believe it was better to travel than to arrive, but not the Doctor.