Robyn Carr - Sheltering Hearts

ZO INSTITUTE

Until April 1997 Rhonda Clemons enjoyed the perfect life in Warner, Oklahoma. She had a masters degree, a good job, three children and a happy marriage. She had a strong support network of friends and a rich spiritual life. Then one day Rhondas husband, Michael, came home with tragic news. During a regular exam his dentist had discovered a small sore on the side of his tongue, and it had turned out to be cancer.

Nothing was ever the same again.

Yet amid the chaos and pain of the diagnosis, and the chemotherapy and radiation treatments, Rhonda and Michael received incrediblesome would say miraculousnews. Rhonda was pregnant again with the couples fourth child. As Michaels strength waned, Rhondas pregnancy blossomed. But despite aggressive treatments and Michaels own strength, he died a mere eleven months after learning he had the disease. Less than three weeks later, Rhonda delivered their youngest son, Noah Benjamin.

Suddenly Rhonda was a single mother with four children to care for, nurture and feed. And although Rhonda is blessed with a natural can-do attitude and energy to burn, she was not prepared for life as a solo parent.

I had a masters degree and a career. I was in church and I had a good family. I was treated well, and we had life insurance. I had this pile of advantages and it was still so difficult for me, she says today.

Through the haze of sleepless nights caring for a newborn and grief over her loss, Rhonda turned to her friends, family and faith for support. Still, she was exhausted and overwhelmed. So in a flash of inspiration fueled by desperation, Rhonda found babysitting for her children and booked a weekend alone at a cabin in the woods. She needed time to heal, write in her journal and think about what she would do with the rest of her life.

It was in that cabin that an idea came to her that would change not only her own life, but also the lives of countless other single mothers facing hardship. The idea manifested itself as Zo Institute , a faith-based, long-term support agency for single women and their kids.

Half of our families are trying to raise children as single moms with none of the advantages I had. Theyve never been treated well in a relationship, they have no education and no career, and Im thinking, How in the world do they do it? she says.

The Greek word zo means life, and its that concept that steers everything Rhonda does.

Its what I want to be, says Rhonda. I dont want to be a Band-Aid. I want a place where these women can come long-term and find out they are valuable, where they can be educated, mentored, encouraged and supported as they become the best family possible.

Inspiration and dedication for single moms

Rhonda first expected Zo, established in 2004, to run as a part-time side project to accompany her paying work as a professional grant writer. The original goal was to help 100 single-mom families that first year. But after the organizations big, splashy launcha well-attended conference on Valentines Day weekend for single moms and their kidsword spread. Soon 200 to 300 women per month were contacting Zo for help and guidance. Today that number has increased to between 300 and 400 families per month.

Although the main concept has remained the sameoffering single mothers a place to visit and connect with other single mothers, while receiving professional and personal guidancethe number of services has grown.

Today Zo Institute offers educational programs through support groups to help women kick negative relationship patterns with abusive spouses and boyfriends and choose healthy relationships down the road. Trained volunteers give classes in parenting, boundary setting and life skills. Zo also gives women one-on-one mentoring opportunities with positive role models. Finally, Zo Institute operates the Hands of Grace warehouse , which distributes diapers, clothing, shoes, toys, furniture, appliances and hygiene products to struggling families in the area.

Under Rhondas leadership, Zos success stories abound. For example, Zo Institute once reached out to a local homeless family living under a bridge. They now have a house to call their own.

In another case a couple of years ago, a woman came to Rhonda clutching a two-year-old toddler and a five-week-old baby, desperate for any help she could receive. She had just left her abusive husband, who had belittled and abused her physically for years. Rhondas voice softens as she describes the meeting.

She came into my office and couldnt even look at me. She was so beaten down, all she could do was cry, says Rhonda. This lady told me horrible stories of abuse. Her ex-husband even regulated the number of toilet paper squares she could use every day.

Rhonda hooked the woman up with emergency supplies and support groups to help guide her through feelings of despair and inadequacy. The charity also steered her into the Habitat for Humanity network.