Mike Puma - If These Walls Could Talk: New York Mets: Stories From the New York Mets Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box

As my character Jim Brockmire likes to say, The Mets are the Yankees of not being the Yankees. While that is a joke, it does seem kind of true. As great, classy, and wonderful as the Yankees are (or at least seem), the Mets have been equally as hapless, unfortunate, and circuslike. Maybe that will begin changing under Steve Cohens ownership.

Growing up in the 1970s, it was the Yankees that really had the circus atmosphere with those Reggie Jackson/Billy Martin teams, but with a tradition of winning that went along with it. Sure, the Yanks had some rough stretches, in the late 1960s and the 80s, but those are the exception. The exception for the Mets is when they do well, like in 2015 or in the Subway Series of 2000 or certainly in 1986. But the baseline for Mets fans is, How is it going to go wrong?

Full disclosure: I loved both teams as a kid. I didnt start hating the Yankees and choosing a side until the 2000 Subway Series, particularly the moment when Roger Clemens threw the bat at Mike Piazza.

Rich Eisen, now of NFL Network, is a good friend of mine, and before I became friends with him, he reported on ESPN that Jason Giambi had been signed by the Yankees. When I heard that, I yelled at the TV: Hey! How come we cant get Giambi?! And Rich Eisen right after that literally said on the air, I can just hear all the Mets fans now going, Hey! How come we cant get Giambi?! A great Mets tradition that I hope has passed: bitterness over the seemingly endless and pocket-bottomless Yankees free-agent signings.

I didnt even realize I had to pick a team as a New Yorker until much later in life. Ironically, I moved to Los Angeles in 1986 (the last time the Mets won the World Series)and stayed there for 27 years. Back then it wasnt so easy to follow your team remotely. There was no satellite or MLB package or a team web page. You were a slave to local coverage and had to look up box scores in the newspaper to see what was going on. I lived in L.A. long enough that I considered becoming a Dodgers fan. I love baseball and I got a Dodgers game every night, the great Vin Scully in the booth, and Dodger Talk always on the radio.

One spring training, probably around 1990, I decided to follow all the Dodgers storylines and completely educate myself on them the same way I always knew the Mets. All through spring training, I learned who the new guys were, the injuries, everything. There it was, Opening Day, I was all excited for the new season. Here we go with a full season of baseball I care about! The first pitch was thrown, andWow, I dont care. I bleed orange and blue, not Dodgers blue.

Similarly, over the years I have often seen the logic in liking the Yankees more than the Mets. It would be much easier emotionally. Ive tried to do it, justifying it by saying that when I was a kid I really did love the Yankees, too, but again and alas, I bleed orange and blue. Not Yankees black, or navy, or whatever the heck color that is.

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The Mets collapse of 2007 is the only time I can remember being depressed for a prolonged period based on a sports result. I almost got a little concerned for myself. The fall of 07 was like a nightmare from which I couldnt awaken, and then to have it happen againnot quite as dramatically, but almostthe following year was just beyond awful, even for a Mets fan. And that was coming off the tremendous disappointment of 2006, with the great Endy Chavez catch leading to Carlos Beltran leaving his bat on his shoulder for strike three.

Im one of those Mets fans who never forgave Beltran, by the way. When he got hired as Mets manager I was against it for no other reason than I still have post-traumatic stress disorder over the image of that bat on his shoulder. Yeah, yeah, I know; he was a great Mets player and its probably childish to hold a grudge like that. But that is one of the few perks of being a Mets fan: holding on dearly to childish grudges. I also hold one toward Tom Glavine for that final loss in 2007 and then seemingly not caring about it in the press conference afterward. Only Mets fans are torn over whom they dislike morehated rivals like Chipper Jones and Chase Utley, or their own guys who let them down (cough Bay/Familia/Diaz/Harvey cough).

Life as a Mets fan has completely colored my worldview. Im in show business and its very speculative. Every venture is a gamble. Its very hard to get anything madeeven my recent show Brockmire took about 10 years to bring to life. Theres many turns in the road in any project where things are in doubt. At the first sign of trouble, Im always like, Well, thats it, were never going to pull this off. My partners often ask me why Im so negative, pessimistic, and sure that the worst-case scenario is inevitable. BECAUSE IM A METS FAN! I yell. Then when they laugh, I yell, IM NOT KIDDING!

My son is 11 years old and Im only half-joking when I say that I moved back to New York because I wanted to raise a Mets fan. I feel I need support in my old age in this avocation. I cant face it alone. I have more than a little guilt that I made him a Mets fan. About three times a year he comes to me and says, Dad, are you sure we cant be Yankees fans? I tell him Im quite sure, but I feel his pain.

But I also tell him that it does make the wins sweeterthe fact they are way fewer and further between for us Mets fans. The 2015 season was euphoric and delightful. It ended sadly, but along the way it featured years of built-up misery getting released. I dont know that fans of the Yankees, New England Patriots, or even the Golden State Warriors have the same kind of joy that Mets fans get when the team does welleven after just a good month, never mind a season.

I feel the Mets have to earn my watching a full game in real time. I will start out the season by watching only the first two innings in fullI want to get a feel for the team and hear what Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez, and Ron Darling are saying. I dont like watching an opponent score on the Metsit upsets meso I will watch the game about an hour delayed off a recording and fast-forward when the other team is batting, unless I am really curious about how Noah Syndergaard or Jacob deGrom or whoever is throwing. I dont even watch the Mets at-bats in real time. I just wait until theres a runner in scoring position. My method condenses watching the game to about 90 minutes. But even that version of viewing is born out of being a Mets fanout of just being so depressed for so long over horrible losses and collapses. Lord knows we have seen enough of them.

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Theres been much talk about how New York comedians are often Mets and not Yankees fans. Theres kind of an underdog, self-deprecating mentality to loving the Mets that I suppose lends itself to comedy. I honestly dont know which came firstmeaning was I sort of a semi-depressive type and thus the Mets appealed to me? Or did becoming a Mets fan contribute to my being sort of a sad sack? Its probably a little of both.

But if comedy is born from pain and being misunderstood and feeling outside and like an underdog, well, lets just say that being a Mets fan did not do anything to alleviate any of that.

When people ask me if Im a baseball fan, I say, No. Im a Mets fan. Theres a difference.

Hank Azaria

Hank Azaria is a comedian and actor best known for voicing many characters in The Simpsons and for his role as the title character in the television show Brockmire. Born in New York City, he is a longtime Mets fan.