Gyles Brandreth (editor) - Messing About in Quotes: A Little Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Messing About in Quotes Messing About in
Quotes A Little Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations Edited by Gyles Brandreth Great Clarendon Street, Oxford, OX2 6DP , United Kingdom Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers the Universitys objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University Press in the UK and in certain other countries Oxford University Press 2018 The moral rights of the author have been asserted First edition 2018 Impression: 1 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted by law, by licence or under terms agreed with the appropriate reprographics rights organization. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the above should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at the address above You must not circulate this work in any other form and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press
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see also EDUCATION You can always tell a Harvard man, but you cant tell him much. James Barnes 18661936 American writer No academic person is ever voted into the chair until he has reached an age at which he has forgotten the meaning of the word irrelevant. Francis M. Stephen Fry 1957 English comedian, actor, and writer I find that the three major administrative problems on campus are sex for the students, athletics for the alumni, and parking for the faculty. Clark Kerr 19112003 American academic In university they dont tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools. Doris Lessing 19192013 English writer of writer friends with degrees in English: University seems to have turned them into Conan the Grammarians, who fret over perfect sentence construction. Kathy Lette 1958Australian writer The Socratic method is a game at which only one (the professor) can play. Ralph Nader 1934American consumer protectionist replying to Woodrow Wilsons And what in your opinion is the trend of the modern English undergraduate?: Steadily towards drink and women, Mr President. F. E. E.

Smith 18721930 British Conservative politician and lawyer

see also ACTORS, FILM STARS, THEATRE METHOD ACTOR : What is my motivation? ABBOTT : Your job. George Abbott 18871995 American director, producer, and dramatist CLAUDETTE COLBERT : I knew these lines backwards last night. NOL COWARD : And thats just the way youre saying them this morning. Nol Coward 18991973 English dramatist, actor, and composer when asked to say something terrifying during rehearsals: We open in two weeks. John Gielgud 19042000 English actor when asked by Michael Hordern for advice before playing Lear for the first time: All I can tell you is, get a light Cordelia. George Glass 191084 American film producer JOSEPHINE HULL : Shakespeare is so tiring. George Glass 191084 American film producer JOSEPHINE HULL : Shakespeare is so tiring.

You never get a chance to sit down unless youre a king. George S. Kaufman 18891961 and Howard Teichmann 191687 American dramatists, in the film The Solid Gold Cadillac on nudity: The part never calls for it. And Ive never ever used that excuse. The box office calls for it. Roger Moore 19272017 English actor Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. Ralph Richardson 190283 English actor I wish sir, you would practise this without me. Ralph Richardson 190283 English actor I wish sir, you would practise this without me.

I cant stay dying here all night. Richard Brinsley Sheridan 17511816 Irish dramatist and Whig politician I told Mad Frankie Fraser Im doing Hamlethe said, Ill do him for you. Arthur Smith 1954English comedian definition of acting: Shouting in the evenings. Patrick Troughton 192087 British actor Talk low, talk slow, and dont say much. John Wayne 190779 American actor They say an actor is only as good as his parts. Barbara Windsor 1937English actress

see also ACTING, FILM STARS My only regret in the theatre is that I could never sit out front and watch me. John Barrymore 18821942 American actor This Thane of Cawdor would be unnerved by Banquos valet, never mind Banquos ghost. Alan Brien 19252008 English journalist, of Michael Hordern in Macbeth Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatraand sank. John Mason Brown 190069 American critic You were the first person I thought of to play a chimpanzee. Tim Burton 1958American film director, asking Helena Bonham Carter to star in Planet of the Apes She [Edith Evans] took her curtain calls as though she had just been un-nailed from the cross. Nol Coward 18991973 English dramatist, actor, and composer seeing a poster for Michael Redgrave and Dirk Bogarde in The Sea Shall Not Have Them: I fail to see why not; everyone else has. Nol Coward 18991973 English dramatist, actor, and composer of Creston Clarke as King Lear: He played the King as though under momentary apprehension that someone else was about to play the ace. Eugene Field 185095 American writer Dear Ingridspeaks five languages and cant act in any of them. John Gielgud 19042000 English actor, of Ingrid Bergman She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short. Clive James 1939Australian critic and writer, on Marilyn Monroe There were three things that Chico was always ona phone, a horse or a broad. Groucho Marx 18901977 American film comedian watching Spencer Tracy on the set of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde: Which is he playing now? W. Groucho Marx 18901977 American film comedian watching Spencer Tracy on the set of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde: Which is he playing now? W.

Somerset Maugham 18741965 English novelist Left eyebrow raised, right eyebrow raised. Roger Moore 19272017 English actor, summary of his acting rangeof Katharine Hepburn at the first night of The Lake: She ran the whole gamut of the emotions from A to B. Dorothy Parker 18931967 American critic Any man who hates dogs and babies cant be all bad.

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