Phil Gifford - Looking After Your Nuts and Bolts: Kiwi Mens Health Guide

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand

ISBN

E:978-1-927262-81-8

M:978-1-988516-00-4/p>

An Upstart Press Book

Published in 2017 by Upstart Press Ltd

Level 4, 15 Huron St, Takapuna 0622

Auckland, New Zealand

Text Phil Gifford 2017

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

Design and format Upstart Press Ltd 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Cover designed by redinc.

Ebook designed by www.CVDgraphics.nz

Printed by 1010 Printing International Ltd., China

While every effort has been made to ensure all the material contained in this book is correct and up to date, the author and the publishers cannot be held liable for the information. Readers should always consult their medical practitioners.

This book is dedicated to the men who bravely told their own health stories, some of them deeply personal, in the hope that their experiences might encourage their brothers in arms to stay healthy.

Contents

Foreword

When my good mate Phil rang and asked me if I would do the foreword for this book Id just arrived home from a tour to Britain with the Kiwis league team. It was a sadly appropriate time. My wife had just broken the news to me that my eldest brother Jack had been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

My other brother Gary died of bladder cancer, and he could have possibly been alive today if hed gone to the doctor sooner.

Ive been a campaigner for mens health for some time. Im the patron of Prostate Cancer New Zealand and several other great health organisations.

Why? Because too many men die of ill health for a very simple reason: they dont go to the doctor.

The other thing is that if you do go to the doctor, and youre not satisfied with the diagnosis, go to another doctor and get a second opinion. As much as I admire doctors, theyre not all-seeing. One may not always pick something up; something that another may rapidly find.

Ive been very fortunate in that when I developed a rare form of prostate cancer both my doctor, Bruce Page, and my oncologist, Robin Smart, were quick to recognise the problem, and to treat it.

As you can see, mens health is a very personal issue to me, as ill health has affected both my brothers.

Its an honour to be involved with a book that aims to help brothers from our wider family, all Kiwi blokes, to lead longer, healthier and happier lives.

Sir Peter Leitch, KNZM, QSM

Thanks

This book would not have been possible without the help of some wonderful people.

Im deeply grateful to Graeme Washer, my doctor and a friend, who was unfailingly positive and helpful, from the time we first discussed the idea to his final proofreading of the manuscript. Please take the time to check out an organisation very dear to his and my heart, the Mens Health Trust New Zealand.

Their website is menshealthnz.org.nz .

My thanks for the patience and encouragement offered by Kevin and Warren at Upstart Press, who were always generous-spirited when, for various reasons, the delivery date for the book was set back several times.

My wife Jan, as she has since my first full book in 1990, was the first to read chapters as they were finished. My love and thanks to her for her patience when her worthwhile suggestions werent always immediately welcomed, and for sharing the humour when we both realised we were starting to suspect we had the symptoms described in whatever chapter we were poring over.

A huge thank you to the non-medical people who so freely and generously offered their time, expertise and talents. To Sir Peter Leitch, Nic Gill, Lee-Anne Wann, Paul Thomas, Jim Eagles, Mike Chunn, Leigh Hart, Paul Ego, Phil Kingsley Jones, Jeremy Corbett and Dai Henwood, youre all champions.

I was constantly amazed at the good-hearted way all the hugely busy medical specialists I spoke to not only gave up their time to be interviewed, but took even more time to carefully edit early drafts to make sure that what was said was accurate. It was slightly staggering too that they were all happy to carefully pass on, in terms a medical ignoramus like me could understand, the wisdom theyve accumulated over a lifetime of skilled work.

Phil Gifford, Auckland, January 2017

No Kale Smoothies

The book youre holding now isnt going to suggest a switch to silverbeet sandwiches, organic oat bran enemas, kale smoothies, or naked sweat lodge fasting.

In the words of Billy Connolly, Whats the point in adding three years to your life if youre bloody miserable in all the years before them?

Whats being offered here is a place to check out ideas that could help you live not just longer, but better. You wont be invited to buy pills, potions, pamphlets, magnets, or miracle fitness machines.

Everyone whos quoted is an expert, whether its the fitness trainer who guides the All Blacks, or the surgeon who does prostate checks more often than Winston Peters sneaks a look in a mirror.

So what are my credentials for writing this book?

One. Ive been a male all my life.

Two. Ive jumped, sometimes staggered, through all the usual lifetime hoops. Marriage, fatherhood, divorce and remarriage. In the workplace, Ive been hired, sacked, resigned, been sued and counter-sued. Owned houses, sold houses, moved houses. Lived in the country, lived in the city.

Three. Ive made a living writing and talking since I was 18. Ive never believed in a book as much as I believe in this one.

Four. Ive got skin in the health game. Both hips replaced, prostate cancer, bowel cancer, skin cancer, but happily now very much, as Willie Nelson says, standing upright on the ground.

With time, you grow to realise women are smarter about how they look after their health. Does anyone think retirement villages are full of more women than men by accident? At the last count, in 2015, New Zealand Statistics said Kiwi women live nearly four years longer than Kiwi men (83.2 years compared to 79.5 years).

Talking with friends it became clear guys arent big on asking health questions. Even if they have the time it somehow doesnt feel right. A mate has to have a heart attack before we find out what the early symptoms are. The first thing on a guys mind in a doctors office is how soon he can get out.

The aim in these pages is simple. You can find out what you need to know, and have some fun in the process. Billy Connollys right, theres no need to be bloody miserable along the way.

Users Note: At the end of many chapters in this book there are website addresses for reputable local organisations dealing with health. Feel free to Google for more health details elsewhere but, be warned, to discover an area swarming with snake oil salesmen and tinfoil hat-wearing fanatics, just search the web for disease alternative cures.

Your Prostate:
An Annoying Little Bugger

F or something as small as a walnut, your prostate can be an annoying little bugger, but it doesnt have to get the better of you.

It lurks inside your body behind your penis, and gets heavily involved in your sex life, helping it when youre young, being a potential nuisance when youre olwder.

When youre a kid and hair starts to grow in funny places, your prostates growing too. Just for fun, itll eventually screw up how you pee.

At primary school, you and your mates can pee over a fence. By your late teens youll hit the middle of it. By the time youre getting a pension the good old prostate will probably make you glad if you can even spray the base.