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P.G. Wodehouse - Blandings Castle & Elsewhere

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This is a Blandings collection. The ivied walls of Blandings Castle have seldom glowed as sunnily as in these wonderful stories - but there are snakes in the rolling parkland ready to nip Clarence, the absent-minded Ninth Earl of Emsworth, when he least expects it. For a start the Empress of Blandings, in the running for her first prize in the Fat Pigs Class at the Shropshire Agricultural Show, is off her food - and can only be coaxed back to the trough by a call in her own language. Then there is the feud with Head Gardener McAllister, aided by Clarences sister, the terrifying Lady Constance, and the horrible prospect of the summer fete - twin problems solved by the arrival of a delightfully rebellious little girl from London. But first of all there is the vexed matter of the custody of the pumpkin. Skipping an ocean and a continent, Wodehouse also treats us to some unputdownable stories of excess from the monstrous Golden Age of Hollywood.

P.G. Wodehouse: author's other books


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The author of almost a hundred books and the creator ofJeeves Blandings - photo 1

The author of almost a hundred books and the creator ofJeeves, Blandings Castle, Psmith, Ukridge, Uncle Fred andMr Mulliner, P.G. Wodehouse was born in 1881 and educatedat Dulwich College. After two years with the HongKong and Shanghai Bank he became a full-time writer,contributing to a variety of periodicals including Punchand the Globe. He married in 1914. As well as his novelsand short stories, he wrote lyrics for musical comedieswith Guy Bolton and Jerome Kern, and at one time hadfive musicals running simultaneously on Broadway. His time inHollywood also provided much source material for fiction.

At the age of 93, in the New Year's Honours List of 1975,
he received a long-overdue knighthood, only to die
on St Valentine's Day some 45 days later.

Some of the P. G. Wodehouse titles to be published
by Arrow in
2008

JEEVES

The Inimitable Jeeves
Carry On, Jeeves
Very Good, Jeeves
Thank You, Jeeves
Right Ho, Jeeves
The Code of the Woosters
Joy in the Morning
The Mating Season
Ring for Jeeves
Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit
Jeeves in the Offing
Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves
Much Obliged, Jeeves
Aunts Aren't Gentlemen

UNCLE FRED

Cocktail Time
Uncle Dynamite

BLANDINGS

Something Fresh
Leave it to Psmith
Summer Lightning
Blandings Castle
Uncle Fred in the Springtime
Full Moon
Pigs Have Wings
Service with a Smile
A Pelican at Blandings

MULLINER

Meet Mr Mulliner
Mulliner Nights
Mr Mulliner Speaking

GOLF

The Clicking of Cuthbert
The Heart of a Goof

OTHERS

Piccadilly Jim
Ukridge
The Luck of the Bodkins
Laughing Gas
A Damsel in Distress
The Small Bachelor
Hot Water
Summer Moonshine
The Adventures of Sally
Money for Nothing
The Girl in Blue
Big Money

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ISBN 9781409063568

Version 1.0

www.randomhouse.co.uk

Published by Arrow Books 2008

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright by The Trustees of the Wodehouse Estate

All rights reserved

This electronic book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

First published in the United Kingdom in 1935 by Herbert Jenkins Ltd

Arrow Books
The Random House Group Limited
20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London, SW1V 2SA

www.rbooks.co.uk

www.wodehouse.co.uk

Addresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited
can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk/offices.htm

The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

A CIP catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library

ISBN: 9781409063568

Version 1.0

Blandings Castle

...AND ELSEWHERE

PREFACE

EXCEPT for the tendency to write articles about the ModernGirl and allow his side-whiskers to grow, there is nothing anauthor to-day has to guard himself against more carefully thanthe Saga habit. The least slackening of vigilance and the thinghas gripped him. He writes a story. Another story dealing withthe same characters occurs to him, and he writes that. He feelsthat just one more won't hurt him, and he writes a third. Andbefore he knows where he is, he is down with a Saga, and no curein sight.

This is what happened to me with Bertie Wooster and Jeeves, and it has happened again with Lord Emsworth, his son Frederick, his butler Beach, his pig the Empress and the other residents of Blandings Castle. Beginning with SOMETHING FRESH, I went on to LEAVE IT TO PSMITH, then to SUMMER LIGHTNING, after that to HEAVY WEATHER, and now to the volume which you have just borrowed. And, to show the habit-forming nature of the drug, while it was eight years after SOMETHING FRESH before the urge for LEAVE IT TO PSMITH gripped me, only eighteen months elapsed between SUMMER LIGHTNING and HEAVYWEATHER. In a word, once a man who could take it or leave it alone, I had become an addict.

The stories in the first part of this book represent what I mayterm the short snorts in between the solid orgies. From time totime I would feel the Blandings Castle craving creeping over me,but I had the manhood to content myself with a small dose.

In point of time, these stories come after LEAVE IT TO PSMITH and before SUMMER LIGHTNING. PIG-HOO-O-O-O-EY, for example, shows Empress of Blandings winning her first silver medal in the Fat Pigs class at the Shropshire Agricultural Show. In SUMMER LIGHTNING and HEAVY WEATHER she is seen struggling to repeat in the following year.

THE CUSTODY OF THE PUMPKIN shows Lord Emsworth passing through the brief pumpkin phase which preceded the more lasting pig seizure.

And so on.

Bobbie Wickham, of MR POTTER TAKES A REST CURE, appeared in three of the stories in a book called MR MULLINERSPEAKING.

The final section of the volume deals with the secret historyof Hollywood, revealing in print some of those stories which arewhispered over the frosted malted milk when the boys gettogether in the commissary.

P. G. WODEHOUSE

Blandings Castle
1 THE CUSTODY OF THE PUMPKIN

THE morning sunshine descended like an amber shower-bathon Blandings Castle, lighting up with a heartening glow itsivied walls, its rolling parks, its gardens, outhouses, and messuages,and such of its inhabitants as chanced at the momentto be taking the air. It fell on green lawns and wide terraces, onnoble trees and bright flower-beds. It fell on the baggy trousers-seatof Angus McAllister, head-gardener to the ninthEarl of Emsworth, as he bent with dour Scottish determinationto pluck a slug from its reverie beneath the leaf of a lettuce. Itfell on the white flannels of the Hon. Freddie Threepwood,Lord Emsworth's second son, hurrying across the water-meadows.It also fell on Lord Emsworth himself and onBeach, his faithful butler. They were standing on the turretabove the west wing, the former with his eye to a powerfultelescope, the latter holding the hat which he had been sent tofetch.

'Beach,' said Lord Emsworth.

'M'lord?'

'I've been swindled. This dashed thing doesn't work.'

'Your lordship cannot see clearly?'

'I can't see at all, dash it. It's all black.'

The butler was an observant man.

'Perhaps if I were to remove the cap at the extremity of theinstrument, m'lord, more satisfactory results might be obtained.'

'Eh? Cap? Is there a cap? So there is. Take it off, Beach.'

'Very good, m'lord.'

'Ah!' There was satisfaction in Lord Emsworth's voice. Hetwiddled and adjusted, and the satisfaction deepened. 'Yes, that'sbetter. That's capital. Beach, I can see a cow.'

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