T-PAIN - Can I Mix You a Drink? - 50 Cocktails from my Life and Career

So, the first time I ever got drunk, I was fifteen years old. See, they dont sell a 40 ounce over in Florida like they do everywhere else. We have a 32 ounce, which apparently was enough to knock me on my ass. My friend was older, so hes the one who I can blame for starting my drunken shenanigans, and I guess hes the reason for this book, really. He bought me a 32 ounce and told me, Youll know youre drunk when your legs get numb. A few gulps in and my limbs fell off.

Somehow I put them back on, headed home to my dads house, and threw up everywhere. I woke up on my bathroom floor. Vomit was all over the placein the tub, on the shower, in the sink, on the floor, and even in the toilet where it belonged. It smelled like vomit and beer, which is a scent that will never have its own candle. My dumb ass was fifteen, so I didnt think about cleaning it up. I just sat there lookin at it.

My dad walked in, looked at me, looked at the vomit, and said, Well, you drink now, I guess. Clean that shit up. That was not the last time that I ever drank; in fact, it gave me the courage to just keep going. My legs were still on and I didnt die, so I was unstoppable! I would sit in the backyard with my friend, listening to some R&B songs with a beer in my hand, catching a buzz and writing my own jams to the structure of hits by other singers. We would sit there for fucking hours and hours and just drink beer and listen to songs and say, Well, listen, he puts hooks together like thisBut lets see how the beat came up thereLike he did this And we would just study and study and study and study. Thats how I learned how to write a hit songdrunk off my ass.

I think so many of my songs are about alcohol because of how I got started writing them. By the way, Im T-Pain, the captain of the Nappy Boy ship, Mr. Teddy Penderazdoun, Teddy Verseti, and everybodys favorite rappa turnt sanga. Chances are, youve spent at least three nights in your life making a bad decision while you were drunk and my music was the soundtrack. For that, I am proud. Listen, there is way too much bullshit going on in the world to not take a few minutes to enjoy ourselves.

Its our right, and if that means taking a couple of sips of something toxic but not deadly to feel good, then hell, go on then! For years, I was just all about beer. I didnt graduate to the top shelf at the bar until 2003, when I was with my group Nappy Headz. We finally got to touring, hitting a couple of dates and getting more popular. I remember we had a stop in Alabama, and we went to this club, and they asked us what we wanted to drink. It was free! We didnt know a damn thing about expensive liquor, so they gave us Mot & Chandons Nectar Imprial. I couldnt stop drinkin it.

Once you get the taste of that sweet honey, then beer starts to taste like fifteen-year-old mes vomit on the bathroom floor. The more popular I became, the more the liquor flowed. Then I started learning about more and more drink options. I remember I was in Russia this onetime before I was a vodka drinker, and they offered me vodka. I said, I dont drink that, and they said to me, The hell you dont! You dont turn down vodka from Russians, apparently. How should I know Russian customs? So thats how I started drinking vodka.

I wouldnt be the drinker that I am if I wasnt T-Pain, thats for sure. Its the fact that I get free drinks all the time. I wrote a song called Buy U a Drank? knowing damn well the drink I was giving the girl was probably free. Either that or she was going to take my lukewarm cup of Hennessy while I went and got a fresh one. But dont tell her that. It was basically like the whole world was enabling me everywhere I went.

They just gave me free drinks, and you know, what am I gonna do? Sit at the table not drinking it? Im polite. Truth is, I didnt plan on reaching this level. Im from Tallahassee, Florida, and even though theres a lot of people there, its got such a small-town mentality. Part of me held on to that mindset, where I couldnt even fathom becoming famous. Even just moving to Atlanta was a big challenge for me, because there were already enough people there singing and rapping and shit. Coming into the industry and thinking that youre gonna be the hottest is just fucking insane.

It doesnt happen. Its like playing football in middle school and being like, Im for sure going to the NFL. But somehow it happened for me, and Im happy to be here. So let me tell you why I put together