Simon Los - Love on the Rocks

I worked as a bar manager in Pattaya for a little over two years in the early 2000s. My first bar was on Soi BJ. I worked there for all of six weeks before the owner attacked me with a beer bottle and I had to leave. Ironically, that owner opened up a new bar on Soi 7, and as a way of apologizing for attacking me with a bottle, he offered me a job managing the new bar. I took the job and worked there for two years.

Both of the bars were girly bars, so farangs Thai for westerners came to meet the bargirls, and the bargirls made money off the farangs through lady drinks, bar fines, and whatever money they negotiated with the farang back in their hotel room. There was a big turnover of bargirls every month. Every month at least a couple of girls quit to go work in another bar, and then two new girls would come to replace them. Over the two years I must have worked with almost a hundred bargirls, and I must have met thousands of fellow farangs. During the day, when there werent any customers, I often sat with the girls and they told me their stories. At night, the farang customers often opened up and told me about their experiences with Thai women. I heard about all sorts during my two years in Pattaya.

After I left Pattaya, I lived in Bangkok for a while, and now I live in semi-rural Thailand with my beautiful Thai wife. Throughout my time in Thailand, I have heard thousands of stories from people from all walks of life. Some of the stories are tragic, some have happy endings, and unfortunately at the end of some of the stories the farang ends up looking like a fool. The purpose of these stories is to entertain and to perhaps make the reader think twice if they are going to Thailand and hoping to find true love within a couple of weeks.

Some of the stories in this book have sad endings, and perhaps it looks like I am being negative about Thailand, but that simply is not true. I love Thailand. I love Thailands rich culture and I love the warm and friendly Thai people. These are just a few of the thousands of stories I have heard over the years. Perhaps these are not the stories that show Thai women or farang men in the best of light, but they are some of the most interesting stories I have heard, and that is the sole reason for including them in this book.

Enjoy the stories, and perhaps Ill see you in Thailand one day.

Simon Los

Dave, one of my old mates from the UK, used to come to Pattaya three times a year. He was a few years younger than me, but by the time I started working in Pattaya, Dave already had over a dozen trips to Pattaya under his belt. When he first started coming to Pattaya, he used to enjoy going to different bars every night and barfining different girls. But on one of his trips to Pattaya, Dave became particularly fond of a bargirl called Oh. When he went back to the UK he stayed in touch with Oh by email, and soon he was sending Oh money every month. During one quiet night in my bar, when we were having a few beers together, Dave told me an amazing story about Oh.

I hope he doesnt mind me sharing it with everyone.

Oh woke up shortly after noon. She packed an overnight bag and went out into the strong afternoon heat of Pattaya. On her way to the bus station, she stopped off at her regular noodle stall for breakfast. It was a small stall at the side of a busy road. Oh sat on one of the blue plastic chairs and watched the people pass by while she ate her noodles. She enjoyed watching people. She enjoyed watching farangs, or, to be more accurate, she enjoyed watching male farangs. After all, they were her customers. She enjoyed trying to figure out whether they were new to Thailand, whether they were wealthy or not, and whether they were looking for company. Oh had a lot of experience with farangs. Now twenty-four, Oh had already been working in bars for almost eight years. Slim, with long black hair and bright eyes, Oh never had any problem attracting farangs, but very early into her working life she realized that to make good money she needed to learn how to read farangs quickly. With the help of the older, more experienced girls around her, she learned how to manipulate farangs and pull on their heartstrings she learned every trick in the book. Once she hooked a farang, she put all her effort into satisfying his every need, whether it be bringing him on tours around Thailand, telling him what he wanted to hear, or pleasing him in bed. She was a master at pushing the right buttons and making farangs fall in love with her.

Oh was almost finished with her noodles when she saw a fellow bargirl named Nit approach her.

Im so glad to see you, Nit said to Oh. I need your help.

Im sorry, Im going to Bangkok to meet my parents, Oh said. I dont have time.

Please, it will only take two minutes. Please. Nit looked desperate. I need you to write an email for me.

Most of the bargirls in Pattaya were from rural parts of Thailand or poorer neighbouring countries, like Laos and Cambodia, but Oh grew up in Bangkok. She had learned English from a young age to a good standard, so a lot of bargirls asked Oh to help them write emails to their farang boyfriends in other countries.

Nit was much older than Oh, about fourteen years older, and she was a very kind person, so Oh didnt want to refuse her. She followed Nit to a nearby PC caf and read the last email from Nits farang. It made interesting reading. Nits farang was from England and he was due to arrive in Thailand the following week. Oh found the email interesting because the farang was asking Nit about how much he should prepare for the wedding ceremony and the sinsod, a dowry common in Thailand, especially when farangs are involved.

You are getting married? Oh asked in surprise.

Yes, next week, and then I will move to England once I get the visa, Nit explained proudly.

Oh congratulated Nit warmly. She was glad that Nit had found a farang to marry at her relatively late age. Oh had a bus to catch, so she hurriedly wrote a reply to the email, purposefully putting in some grammar and spelling mistakes so the farang wouldnt suspect anything. When they left the PC caf, Nit tried to shove two hundred baht into Ohs hand to thank her, but Oh wouldnt accept it.

By the age of twenty-four, Oh had already accumulated two million baht. She was determined to save as much money as she could and then use the money to set up a nice life for her and her family. Her dream was to own a condo in Bangkok and a house somewhere near the beach. Having grown up in the city, she loved the idea of having a second home near the water where she could escape to at the weekend. Oh freelanced around two or three bars in Pattaya; this way she could choose her own hours and not have to answer to a bar manager or mamasan (a woman who manages girls working in a bar or brothel). She worked hard for her money, but she also had six farang boyfriends (four from Europe and two from Australia), who sent her money every month. They sent her money so that she wouldnt have to work in a bar and go with other farangs. They didnt know that Oh took their money every month and continued working. These farang boyfriends visited Thailand a couple of times a year. If two of them happened to come at the same time, Oh would stay with the wealthier farang. She would then tell the other farang that her parents were sick so she couldnt meet. She might even ask the farang to send money to help pay the hospital fees.