Colin Dexter - The Remorseful Day (Inspector Morse 13)

THE REMORSEFULDAY [070-3.9] By: Colin Dexter synopsis: Dexter (Death isNow My Neighbor, 1997, etc.) draws a brilliantly realized seriesto a close by relying on the irascible Morses extraordinarycapacity of thinking laterally, vertically, and diagonally. Thistime, though, Morse seems reluctant to get involved in the unsolvedyear-old murder of 50-ish promiscuous nurse Yvonne Hamilton. Is itbecause hes weary and ailing, or because he has a secret vestedinterest in the naked, handcuffed, gagged victim? When two anonymousphone calls come into the Thames Valley Police station, corpulent ChiefSuperintendent Strange pulls Morse back from a furlough, alongwith faithful Sergeant Lewis. Circuitous routes keep Lewis one stepbehind the curmudgeonly, miserly, oddly vulnerable Morse, but notfar enough behind to prevent him from wondering why Morse seemsunwilling to take a more active involvement in the case. A bountiful cast ofprime suspects is joined by the usual cast of colorful locals,all of them dancing with nervous energy, before guilt brings its ownmoral retribution. Astute readers who think they have outwitted Morseshould wait till the last two pages before congratulatingthemselves.

Morse is laid to rest gracefully, though many a readerwill join Lewis in his tearful farewell to one of the most original,endearing, and consistently rewarding detective series.
By the sameauthor LAST BUS TO WOODSTOCK LAST SEEN WEARING THE SILENT WORLDOF NICHOLAS QUINN SERVICE OF ALL THE DEAD THE DEAD OF JERICHO THERIDDLE OF THE THIRD MILE THE SECRET OF ANNEXE 3 THE WENCH IS DEAD THEJEWEL THAT WAS OURS THE WAY THROUGH THE WOODS THE DAUGHTERS OF CAINDEATH IS NOW MY NEIGHBOUR MORSE'S GREATEST MYSTERY AND OTHER STORIES
THE REMORSEFUL DAY BCA1 LONDON NEW YORKSYDNEY TORONTO
This editionpublished 1999 byBCA By arrangement with Macmillan an imprint of MacMillanPublishers Ltd CN 6321 Copyright Colin Dexter 1999 The right of Colin Dexter tobe identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordancewith the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rightsreserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introducedinto a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means(electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the priorwritten permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorizedact in relation to this publication may be liable to criminalprosecution and civil claims for damages. Printed and boundin Great Britain by Mackays of Chatham pie, Chatham, Kent
For George,Hilary, Maria, and Beverley (Please note the Oxford comma)
AcknowledgementsMy special thanks are due, imprimis to Terry Benczik from New Jersey, forsending me so many apposite quotations; to Cyndi Cook from Hawaii, forsinging to me as I wrote these chapters; to Allison Dexter, for sharing with meher expertise on coronary care; to Eddie Andrews, one of my former pupils,for initiating me (at last! ) into some of the mysteries of the SO COs and toChris Burt, producer of so many Morse episodes on TV, for his constantsupport and encouragment.

The author andpublishers wish to thank the following who have kindly given permission foruse of copyright materials: Extracts from More Poems XLI, More Poems XVI and AShropshire Lad by A. E. Housman are reproduced by permission of TheSociety of Authors as the literary representative of the Estate of A. E. Housman. Extract from Onthe Dole in Darlington by David Mackenzie reproduced by permission of theauthor.

Extract from translation of An Die Musik by Basil Swift reproducedby permission of the author. Extract from I'm a Stranger Here Myself byOgden Nash (from the collection Candy is Dandy, Andre Deutsch Ltd, Copyright1938 by Ogden Nash, Renewed) is reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown Ltd,Andre Deutsch Ltd and Little, Brown and Company, Inc. Extract from Catch-22by Joseph Heller is reproduced by permission of the author.
Extract from TheFiddler ofDooney by W. B. P. P.

Watt Ltd on behalf of Michael B. Yeats, and Simon & Schuster Inc. Extract from Come to Think of It by G. K. Chesterton is reproduced bykind permission of A. P.

Watt Limited on behalf of the Royal Literary Fund. Extract fromOxford by Jan Morris is reproduced by permission of Oxford University Press. Extract fromLovelace Bkeding by Roy Dean reproduced by permission of the author. Extract fromNight-wood by Djuna Barnes is reproduced by permission of the author and Faberand Faber Ltd. Every effort hasbeen made to trace all copyright holders but if any has been inadvertentlyoverlooked, the author and publishers will be pleased to make the necessaryarrangement at the first opportunity. E. E.

Housman, More Poems, XVI) When I wrote my 1997 letter I thoughtI had little to look forward to in 1998, but it turns out that I wasstupidly optimistic (David Mackenzie, On the Dole in Darlington)
prolegomenon Aso'cr me now them lean' st thy breast, With larder'd bodice crisply pressed,Lief I'd prolong my grievous ill Wert thou my guardian angel still (EdmundRaikes, 1537-65, The Nurse) "So I often hook my foot over the side of themattress." "You what?" "Sort ofanchors me to my side of the bed." "Doublebed?" "Not unknownis it, for a married couple? People can share the same bed but not the samethoughts old Chinese saying." "Still makesme jealous." "Idiot!" "Everybodygets a bit jealous sometimes." "Noteverybody." "Not you,nurse?" "I've justlearned not to show it, that's all. And it's none of your business in anycase." "Sorry." "How I hatemen who say " sorry"!" "I promisenot to say it again, miss." "And willyou promise me something else? To be a bit more honest with yourself- andwith me?" "Scout'shonour!"
"I can'tbelieve you were ever in the Scouts." "Well, no,but..." "Shall Itest you?" "Testme?" "Would youlike me to jump into bed with you now?" "Yes!" "You'requick on the buzzer." "Nextquestion?" "Do youthink I'd like to jump into bed with you?" "I'd like tothink so." "What aboutthe other patients?" "You coulddraw the curtains." "What excuse... ?" "You couldalways take my blood pressure." "Again? "Whynot?" "We know allabout your blood pressure. High very high especially when I'm around." "It's thoseblack stockings of yours." "You're astocking-tops man!" "Nice word,isn't it stocking-tops?" "If only youweren't stuck in this bloody ward!" "I canalways discharge myself." "Not a wisemove, good sir not in your case." "What timeare you off duty?" "Half-eight." "What'll youdo then?" "Off home. I'm expecting a phone call." "You'retrying to make me jealous again." "After that,I suppose I'll just poke the thin gummy you know, around the fourchannels." "Five,now." "We don'tget the new one." "What aboutSky?"
"In our village,satellite dishes are most definitely discouraged." "You couldalways take a video home." "No need. We've got lots of videos.

You should see some of them you know, the sexones." "You watchthat sort of thing?" "When I'm inthe mood." "When'sthat?" "Most of thetime." "And even ifyou aren't in the mood?" "Oh yes! They soon turn anybody on. Haven't you seen some of these Amsterdamvideos? All sorts of bizarre things they get up to." "I haven'tseen them, no." "Would youlike to?" "I'm notquite sure I would, no." "Not even ifyou watched them with me?" "Please,nurse, am I allowed to change my mind?" "We couldarrange a joint viewing." "How howbizarre's bizarre?" "Well, inone of 'em there's this woman about my age lovely figure wrists tied to the topof the four-poster bed ankles ded to the bottom ..." "Goon." "Well,there's these two young studs one black, one white' " No racial discrimination,then? " ' - and they justtake turns, you know. " "Raping her..." "You're sonaive, aren't you? She wouldn't have been in the bloody video, would she, if shedidn't want to be? There are some people like her, you know. The onlyreal sexual thrill they get is from some sort of submission you know, thatsort of thing."