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Terry Darlington - Narrow Dog To Carcassonne

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Terry Darlington was brought up in Pembroke Dock duringthe war, between a Sunderland flying boat base and an oilterminal.

He survived and moved to Staffordshire, where he foundedResearch Associates, the international market research firm, andStone Master Marathoners, the running club.

Like many Welshmen he is talkative and confiding, ill at easewith practical matters and liable to linger in public houses.

He likes boating but knows nothing about it.

Monica Darlington comes from Radnorshire. Her father wasa gardener and her mother a housemaid, or perhaps it was theother way round.

She has a first class degree in French, has run thirty marathons,and can leap tall buildings with a single bound.

Her three children have all reproduced themselves, removingdoubts about whether she and Terry are the same species.

She quite likes boating but knows nothing about it.

Brynula Great Expectations (Jim) is sprung from a long line ofdogs with ridiculous names.

Jim can run at forty miles an hour. He is cowardly, thieving,and disrespectful and hates boating.

Visit their website at www.narrowdog.com

www.booksattransworld.co.uk

'I read Narrow Dog pretty well at one sitting'

'A rich and winning comic dbut, destined to become a classic'
Sunday Telegraph

'Written with the author's glorious sense of humour, this is
one of those journeys you never want to end'
The Good Book Guide

'A stunning book racy, chatty, touching, and very, very funny'
Joanna Lumley

'It has a real unputdownable quality and once started you
might as well cancel any appointments until you've finished'
Canal and Riverboat

'A wonderfully funny book, full of brilliantly written passages'
Brian Patten

'Narrow Dog to Carcassonne is an astonishing read'
Libby Purves, Radio 4 Midweek

'One of my favourite books of the year'
Emma Soames, Editor, Saga Magazine

'This is ace'
Bookseller

'There's kind of a moral to the tale as well'
John Inverdale, The Johnny Walker Show

'Wonderful, moving and inspiring it's a great read'
David Moorcroft, Chief Executive, UK Athletics

'The most amazing canal journey of them all'
Daily Mail

'Pru and I found the book wonderfully entertaining.
I read Narrow Dog pretty well at one sitting. Thank you
for a lovely book'
Timothy West and Prunella Scales

'This laugh-aloud narrowboat adventure'
Val Hennessy

'Sparkling with comic and poetic insights to a France you
never knew existed a France viewed from the back side'
Keith Wootton, Producer ITV Water World

'Narrow Dog has been welcomed as a classic by one reviewer
and is among Amazon's top twenty best-sellers'
Guardian

'It's more than a memoir, it can be treated as a quotations
quiz. And you can quote me on that'
Nigel Rees

'Their personal motto could be "brave but
never foolhardy"'
The Times

'I thought they were mad to be honest'
Karen Wyatt, Canal Cruising Stone

'Of course, the real hero is Jim'
The Whippet

This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author's and publisher's rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

ISBN 9781409084969

Version 1.0

www.randomhouse.co.uk

NARROW DOG TO CARCASSONNE
A BANTAM BOOK

ISBN: 9781409084969

Version 1.0

Originally published in Great Britain by Bantam Press,
a division of Transworld Publishers

PRINTING HISTORY
Bantam Press edition published 2005
Bantam edition published 2006

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright Terry Darlington 2005, 2006
Map on inside covers and illustrations by Christopher Corr

The right of Terry Darlington to be identified as the author ofthis work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Condition of Sale

This electronic book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

Set in 12.5/14.5pt Bembo by
Falcon Oast Graphic Art Ltd.

Bantam Books are published by Transworld Publishers,
6163 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA,
a division of The Random House Group Ltd,
in Australia by Random House Australia (Pty) Ltd,
20 Alfred Street, Milsons Point, Sydney, NSW 2061, Australia,
in New Zealand by Random House New Zealand Ltd,
18 Poland Road, Glenfield, Auckland 10, New Zealand
and in South Africa by Random House (Pty) Ltd,
Isle of Houghton, Corner of Boundary Road & Carse O'Gowrie,
Houghton 2198, South Africa.

To Monica
with love

I am I: thou art she: Jim is him.
T. D.

CHAPTER ONE
STONE TO WESTMINSTER
Moon River

On the floor of the Star Inn Jim was fighting to pushhis entire body inside a - photo 1

On the floor of the Star Inn Jim was fighting to pushhis entire body inside a bag of pork scratchings. I couldhave had a dog that ate its dinner, a dog that barked andwagged its tail, a normal dog, a dog with fur. But thebook said a whippet was the easiest dog and I hadtrouble enough already.

Whippets are hounds miners' dogs, racers, rabbiters.They are very thin. On top they are velvet and underneaththey are bald. They are warm and smell ofbuttered toast. They love every living creature to arapture unless you are small and furry and trying to getthe hell out of here. They like running the towpaths andthieving off fishermen; but fire up the engine, cast offthe ropes, and it's the eyes, the betrayed eyes. So thenarrowboat Phyllis May has a dog that hates boating.

We'll call him Gonzales, I had said, because he's fast,or Leroy because he's golden brown, or we'll have a dogcalled Bony Moronie. Good thinking, said Monica, andnamed him Jim. He's your dog, she said you look afterhim. I read Your Dog Is Watching You, and Your Dog WillGet You in the End, and How to Stop Your Dog Behaving likea Bloody Animal. Jim and I went to school on many darkevenings, but neither of us learned very much.

The door from the canal opened and it was Clive.Like most inland boaters, Clive looks like a pregnantbear. Got you, he shouted greedy greedy, earlydrinkies, surprise surprise, make mine a pint. Hesat down and slapped his pipe and his Breton sailor's haton the table. Jim was ecstatic. Jim sees Cliveand Beryl as part of our pack, who sometimes make theirescape owing to my lack of leadership andpoor attention to detail. But through his trackingskills we get them back, and How about somescratchings?

Are you nervous? asked Clive, pulling Jim out of histrouser pocket. Yes, I said. I'm worried about gettingaway from Stone. I might crash or fall in. People will bewatching.

Clive has a Dudley accent, and a deep voice, as if heis saying something important. Beryl and I should neverhave encouraged you, he said. You are old, you've onlygot one eye, you are a coward and you can't jump. You'reno good at anything useful. Monica ran your businesswhile you wandered around being nasty to yourcustomers.

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