Sandi Van - Listen Up

Please visit our website, www.west44books.com.For a free color catalog of all our high-quality books, call toll free 1-800-542-2595 or fax 1-877-542-2596.Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Van, Sandi. Title: Listen Up / Sandi Van. Description: New York: West 44, 2021. | Series: West 44 verse Identifiers: ISBN 9781538385265 (pbk.) | ISBN 978538385289 (library bound) | ISBN 9781538385272 (ebook) Subjects: LCSH: Childrens poetry, American. | Childrens poetry, English. | English poetry.

Classification: LCC PS586.3 L578 2021 | DDC 811.60809282--dc23 First Edition Published in 2021 by Enslow Publishing LLC 101 West 23rd Street, Suite #240 New York, NY 10011 Copyright 2021 Enslow Publishing LLC Editor: Caitie McAneney Designer: Seth Hughes Photo Credits: Cover (phone) FotoBob/Shutterstock.com. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer. Printed in the United States of America CPSIA compliance information: Batch #CW20W44: For further information contact Enslow Publishing LLC, New York, New York at 1-800-542-2595. This book is dedicated to all the students who have passed through my life and shaped my heart. Never let adversity keep you from your dreams. Time Listen up, people.Open your ears.Its time.Time for you toSTOPgiving into the system.Time for you toSTOPdoing what youretold.Time for you toSTAND UP.Be the forcethat driveschange.Be the onewho screams:ENOUGH! Courage I stop the video.

The real world waits for me. Me: broken lost frozen But first, before I let the fear creep into me like snakes, I upload the video. Add a clickbait title. Post. The Real World The one with teachers and tests, with parents and an older sister who does everything better. In the Real World, I am just Lucas.

When I hit record, though, I become the Other Me. The me who is not afraid to say how I feel. The me who is not afraid to tell the truth. Family My parents run a real estate company. Dad is the friendly one. His face smiles on the billboard like his life depends on it.

Mom is the smart one. She balances the books, the calendar, the house, like an acrobat in a circus. They wanted us to follow in the family footsteps, but my sister Nell started college. Pre-med. And me? Well, someday Ill be a star. If I dont crash and burn through the atmosphere of high school.

At School It goes something like this: I walk the halls. Silent. The sound of my own swallows like a thunderstorm in my ears. Can anyone else hear that? I want to talk. Want to say, Hey man,great job in the game last night.Can you pass me a pen?Did you see the latest upgrade?Hows the pizza today?Carboard grease, as always? But its like my brain and my tongue are in a constant battle. They argue over what to say and end up saying nothing.

Or worse, something dumb. They fight like a TV couple. Only no one laughs. Or maybe they do. They laugh at me. Laugh at me standing there like fool.

My face hot. My feet stuck to the ground. My brain going on and on about something. And then they walk away. Ive learned its better to be quiet than to risk words. Pay Attention Listen.

You can hear the sounds. Voices telling stories. Listen. You can hear the truth. Marnie I see her every day at school. Confident. Confident.

She seems sure of herself, but people arent always what they seem. Sweet on the surface. Sour underneath. Hand in hand with the same guy since freshman year. The most popular guy in school. Greg Gale.

Smiles on their faces, but not in their eyes. Fear. Doubt. Mistrust. I see the way he squeezes her hand tighter when they walk by other guys. The way she checks in every morning.

The way he talks about her in the locker room. The way she eyes him up and down. Makes sure his clothes are just right. Control. On the surface, they are happy. They are the gods of this school.

But theres always more to the story. Stories I watch and listen. Take it all in. I watch Marnie. The effort she makes to stay popular. To make sure everyone follows her lead.

I want to know if she ever feels lonely like me. I watch groups in the lunchroom. Together but alone. Eyes focused on screens. Thumbs sliding past life. They instantly dismiss or accept someone elses breakable heart.

I want to know why we worry so much about what other people think but never worry what other people feel? Every day I wonder: Why cant we treat each other better? Why cant we see past the surface? Why cant we just be human? Find a Way When I walk through the halls, I want to scream. Scream at it all. But I cant. Extreme social anxiety, they say. But my favorite teacher, Miss Stone, always says, Find a way. Sixteen. Sixteen.

Mom thought it would help me interact more. You never touch your phone, shed said. Im worried about you, shed said. Get an account on one of those sites, shed said. Make some friends. Instead, I downloaded software to change my voice.

I found cool pictures to create a background. Instead, I made videos. Is Anyone Listening? The only trouble with the videos I make: They have zero views. Until lunch one day. When Devin Maleny screams, HEY! HEY! CHECK THIS OUT! The Ants Go Marching His voice echoes across the room. It scrapes my ears.

The sound of chair legs dragged against the cafeteria floor. All at once, everyone rushes to see Devins phone. Like ants that found a piece of candy on the sidewalk. Push. Shove. Disguised. Mine. Mine.

My Corner I eat lunch every day in the corner. The lonely kid. Ignored by everyone. Peanut butter sandwich. Almond milk. An apple.

Mom stopped packing my lunch in middle school. But I find comfort in the foods she used to choose. I stare at the bite in my sandwich and wish to be invisible. They wont know its me. They cant know its me. I hope they dont know its me.

Dont I? At First theres laughter. Is this for real? And then quiet. Woah, dude.Who is he talking about?Is that us?Is that here?Is he for real? Knightsbridge High School. Its in the title: The Truth About the King of Knightsbridge Its in my username: The Lone Knight. The Lone Knight Clever, right? Because Im all alone. But I just want a chance to save the day.

The Students of Knightsbridge High School gather around tables, faces in their phones. Click. Click. I pull mine from my pocket. Watch in amazement as my subscribers skyrocket. I look at the video with the most views.

Zero yesterday, more than 30 today. Its the one where I called out Greg Gale for talking about Marnies body in the locker room. So thats the video thats made me famous. I posted it last week. Disgusted by the way the other guys talk about girls. Like they are something to possess.

A prize taken from a shelf at the fair. I dont want a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Which sometimes feels like one more thing that makes me different. But the fact that everyone thinks Greg and Marnie are so perfect just really bothered me. So I brought them back down to Earth.

What Happens Next: I panic. My heart pounds. I reach up to my scalp. Pull at the hairs near the back of my neck. A habit that became a condition when the school nurse noticed the bald spot. Pull my hand away.

Clench fists. Try to become invisible. Wait. I already am. After Lunch I board the bus for the Hyde County Occupational School. HCOS for short.

Mom wanted me to go somewhere where I would feel success. So here I am. Autobody and Collision Repair. At first, I thought it was dumb. Its not like I love cars or anything. But taking something broken and making it look brand new is pretty cool.