Robin Cooper - The Timewaster Letters

(YET) MORE REVIEWS OF THE TIMEWASTER LETTERS Comic genius JAMES DELINGPOLE, Mail on Sunday Not many books have me laughing out loud, shouting F**k off! in disbelief. This one did MARTIN FREEMAN, The Office, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy A hilarious collection Daily Telegraph Theres nothing I can write that will convey, in any sense, quite how funny this book is SALLY PHILLIPS, Smack the Pony Last night I randomly read four of Robin Coopers letters. Three made me laugh out loud. I showed them to my wife, who laughed out loud too, and she never laughs out loud JON RONSON, author of Them: Adventures with Extremists I took the manuscript into the lavatory... So engrossing and funny was the collection, I remained in the toilet for an entire hour. I believe my neighbours may now consider me strange, because of the peals of loud raucous laughter emanating from my little boys room.

It is truly brilliant SIMON PEGG, Spaced, Shaun of the Dead So funny, the only place you can read it without drawing looks of annoyance from anyone is a big huge empty field GRAHAM LINEHAN, co-creator, Father Ted I found myself all alone laughing out loud at a bunch of letters from someone that didnt exist, to someone I had never heard of. Disconcerting. But thats the price you pay for reading this ridiculously funny book DAISY DONOVAN, Daisy Daisy I have WASTED two hours this morning weeing myself in hysterics at the book... its completely brilliant STEPHANIE MERRITT, Deputy Editor, Books, Observer Robin Cooper is an epistolarian genius. Dark and bitter like the best chocolate, but much, much, much funnier than chocolate (Bournville excepted). Hilarious VICTOR LEWIS-SMITH, columnist, Daily Mirror A masterful compendium of the ridiculous TIM MOORE, author of Do Not Pass Go and Spanish Steps Mercilessly tickles your brain till your mouth laughs aloud CHARLIE BROOKER, author of TV Go Home Brilliantly silly.

Hysterically funny. I laughed louder with every page. Now my larynx is in tatters SARAH ALEXANDER, Coupling Hilarious, ridiculous. I woke up laughing in the middle of the night at it PETER BAYNHAM, co-writer, Im Alan Partridge Ha ha ha ha ha ha (inhale) ha ha ha ha ha!!! PETER SERAFINOWICZ, Shaun of the Dead A complete waste of my time bring back hanging! PETER RICHARDSON, writer/director, The Comic Strip Presents... So who is Robin Cooper? Spoon collector, wasp expert, professional fish fryer and inventor of the peanut suit, Robin Cooper is all of these things, it just depends to whom hes writing... Robin Cooper might also be the pseudonym for Robert Popper.

Robert is a BAFTA-nominated writer and television producer, and co-creator of BBC2s hit comedy series, Look Around You. First published in Great Britain in 2004 by Michael OMara Books Limited 9 Lion Yard Tremadoc Road London SW4 7NQ This electronic edition published in 2011 ISBN: 978-1-84317-799-9 in EPub format ISBN: 978-1-84317-800-2 in Mobipocket format ISBN: 978-1-84317-169-0 in paperback print format Copyright Robert Popper 2004 The right of Robert Popper to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. www.robincooper.co.uk Robin Cooper Brondesbury Villas London Windrush Mill Garden Catalogue Ryan House Grove Street Cheltenham Glos GL50 3LZ 6th April 1999 Dear Sir/Madam, I was recently sent a copy of your Quality Garden Catalogue (Spring 99), and I'd like to congratulate you on such a fine brochure. www.robincooper.co.uk Robin Cooper Brondesbury Villas London Windrush Mill Garden Catalogue Ryan House Grove Street Cheltenham Glos GL50 3LZ 6th April 1999 Dear Sir/Madam, I was recently sent a copy of your Quality Garden Catalogue (Spring 99), and I'd like to congratulate you on such a fine brochure.

I have worked as a landscape gardener for 15 years and have never seen such a fine array of items to perk up the garden. Well done! You may be interested to know that I design garden-related products. I have an entire range of scarecrows made entirely from beef. They are based on Roman themes, such as 'The Storming of Thebes' and 'Brutus Avenged'. I wonder if you would be interested in looking at the designs to put in your new catalogue. I look forward to your reply, and once again, bravo! Best wishes, Robin Cooper Robin Cooper Brondesbury Villas London 15th April 99 Dear Robin My name is Emma Hutt and I am Johnnie Vizor's assistant at Windrush Mill.

He has asked me to write to you to thank you for your letter and compliments. We would be very interested to see the scarcrows made of beef(?). Please send details of the products to the above address including any pictures and the cost prices. I look forward to hearing from you. With regards. Emma Hutt Buying assistant Robin Cooper Brondesbury Villas London Emma Hutt Windrush Mill Garden Catalogue Ryan House Grove Street Cheltenham Glos GL50 3LZ 20th April 1999 Dear Emma, Many thanks for your letter of the 15th April 1999.

I was delighted that you wrote back to me (on behalf of Johnnie Vizor). As requested I am enclosing copies of my latest designs for my scarecrows, based on Roman themes. They can currently be seen in my front garden, should you care to visit. I was a bit confused when you mentioned that my designs were made of 'beef'. I can only assume I made a spelling mistake on the machine. It should of course have read 'beel'.

For your interest, each model is priced at 21.99. I look forward to hearing what you think of my designs, and would like to, once again, congratulate you on your magnificent brochure. Yours sincerely, Robin Cooper Robin Cooper Brondesbury Villas London 26th April 99 Dear Robin Thank you for your letter and designs for the beel scarecrows. We are at present looking at the Spring/Summer 2000 range but after long consideration we feel this product is not suitable on this occasion. Thank you for taking the time to send us details of your products and please bear us in mind with any new products. With regards