Bryce Moore - The Perfect Place to Die

Think of the list that follows: men and women, young girls and innocent children, blotted out by one monsters hand, and you, my reader, of a tender and delicate nature, will do well to read no further.

I was seventeenold enough for boys to come calling, even though none of them had, and nothing Mother said could fool me into thinking there was a reason other than the length of my nose and the size of my chin. Handsome is about as good a compliment any boy paid me, and that was only when his parents were listening. But I was a hard worker, and I knew my way around a farmyard and in a workshop. Father didnt have sons, and Ruby wasnt worth a thing when it came time for work to be done.

The boys hadnt come calling for me, but they more than made up for that by lining up for my younger sister. She never had a moments rest at the dance hall, and shed have been out nightly if Father had let her. As it was, she still went out twice as often as she should have.

Father would scream at Ruby each morning, and I imagine she thought she had it pretty rough the way he handled her. However, he was careful to keep his blows to places where no one would notice the bruisesand she was careful to keep those bruises from getting noticed. I wasnt as lucky, but I made sure Ruby never had a chance to see what he did to me.

Its amazing what a family will do to make other families think everything is normal and fine.

But one evening Ruby came into the room when I would have sworn she was already on her way into town. I was in the middle of changing for the night, and there was Ruby, barging in through the door, all breathless and hurried as she searched for a missing earring she just had to have for the dance.

Zuretta, she said. Have you seen my

I tried to turn fast enough, but the way she cut off told me Id failed. Her eyes widened, and the blood drained out of her face faster than if her throat had been cut. The two of us stared at each other, neither of us speaking, for a full minutemaybe longer.

That was Father? she asked me at last.

It wasnt Mother.

She nodded. Once, then twice. Theres a lot there, she said. On your back. How long has he been doing this to you?

Long enough, is all I said. I could take the blows, and I wanted things to stay the same between Ruby and me.

Ruby had never been the sort of person who let things be, though. Shed march straight to the store and elbow her way into the front of the line if she thought it was necessary. She didnt wait then, either.

Come on, Zuretta, she said.

What?

Were going, you and I.

Where?

East. North. West. I dont care. Anywhere but Manti, Utah.

But Mother

Mother knew what she was getting when she married that man. You and I didnt ask for it.

But what would we do?

She rushed over to her dresser and took out a bag and began throwing clothes into it, almost at random. Anything we want, she said, and then looked up at me as an idea struck her. Chicago. Her eyes were bright.

Chicago? I sat down on my bed.

The Columbian Exposition. Remember? People have been talking about that for months. Well go to Chicago. We might even see the Pinkertons!

We cant afford tickets, I said, hoping some reasoning would work with her.

But Ruby was already packing again. Ill take some money out of the jar on Fathers shelf when we leave. Thatll pay for the tickets, and when we get to the city, well get jobs and never come back. Real jobs. Maybe as maids in a fancy hotel. Meet people from around the world. Come on, Zuretta! Well be free!

I could see the future with Ruby there, just for a moment. Expensive rooms and swaying train cars. Free.

But Mother cried out in the room next to ours, and it all came crashing down. I cant, I told Ruby. She needs my help. Our help.

Ruby licked her lips, thinking. Then she shook her head. Not from me, Zuretta. Im sorry, but no more. We all have our agency. God gave it to us to make our minds up. Im getting out of here now. Tonight. You can come with me, or you can stay here and get beaten whenever Father pleases. I know the choice Im making.

And I could see that she did, but I knew my choice as well. I thought it was the right one. The sensible one. I said goodbye to Ruby that night.

I never saw her at home again.

* * *

She wrote me, of course, and I even got to read some of her letters. The ones Father didnt catch wind of, at any rate. (Until we learned to have them sent to a friend and cut Father out of the process entirely.) The letters were filled with marvelous stories of Chicago and the exposition. Shed seen a real-life Pinkerton Detective, and shed found work as a maid. Though, she refused to let me know where she was living. Everything went to a box at the post office downtown, and she picked it up there. She worried Father might come looking for her, but I thought the odds of him making the journey from Utah all the way to Chicago were slim.

In some ways, the letters made things harder. Fathers temper only got worse, and Mother didnt get any stronger. He blamed me for Ruby running off.

I thought Id been hiding it all well enough, but the bishop called me into meet with him one Sunday. He had a stack of letters on his desk, at least an inch high.

Do you want to tell me about your father? he asked.

I did not, so he sat back in his seat and sighed. What am I going to do with you, Zuretta? As if I was something to be handled and passed around. A problem that could be solved if he found the right leverage.

I perched in the seat across from him, my back safely away from anything it might brush up against.

The bishop pointed at that stack of letters. Your sister, he began, then added, Its not just me shes writing to.

I can handle him, I said, which was true enough. Rubys off enjoying life in a big city. Mother and I will be fine.