For Christina, Carrie, and Missy, who have stood by me for more years than I can count
There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourselfan enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
Antisthenes
Contents
I was dancing while he burned, but I had no way of knowing that, not then, while spinning on the tips of my toes, my husbands grip firm around my waist as he led me around the ballroom again and again, glistening beads of sweat forming on his forehead. My heart was light, my head full of joy, my only complaint the temperature of the room. Its warmth was oppressive, humid and thick; the air heavy with the oil of too many perfumes. Looking back, I realize I had not even the beginning of an understanding of real heat, or of the pain of fire with its indiscriminate implacability. How could I? I was in Mayfair at a ball. The man meeting his fiery end might as well have been on the opposite side of the earth.
That evening, my side of the earth was Lady Londonderrys ballroom, one of Londons finest, where I stood surrounded by friends and acquaintances, happy and safe, with bubbles of political gossip and society rumors floating around me. The ornately decorated room, with its columns and gilded surfaces, took up nearly the entire first floor, and was rumored to have been modeled after the site of the Congress of Vienna. Lord Londonderry displayed his collection of paintings on the walls. Marble statues, in the Greco-Roman tradition, stood in regularly-spaced nooks. The house seemed to pulse as the orchestra began a waltz, my favorite dance.
Shall we continue? Colin asked.
I shook my head, out of breath. Its too hot, even for a waltz.
Colin Hargreaves, a man always capable of anticipating a ladys every need, whim, andsometimes more importantlydesire, steered me through the crowds in both the main room and its antechamber until wed reached the landing of the grand staircase. Here, leaning against the gilded railing, I was considerably less cramped. I could almost breathe.
Better? Colin asked, removing two champagne flutes from the tray held by a waiter who disappeared with swift precision before we could thank him.
Much. I lowered my fancerise silk to match my dressand gulped the cool drink.
Colin touched my cheek. Easy, my dear, or Ill have to carry you home in disgrace.
The thought of you throwing me over your shoulder is hardly a disincentive. I tilted the glass again and drained it, marveling at how handsome my husband was. His neat black jacket was perfectly tailored, his crisp shirt and narrow tie both spotless white, his skin tanned from the summer sun and flushed from dancing.
I should hope not, he said, his dark eyes full of the sort of heat to which, unlike that caused by extremes of weather, I would not object.
If anything, it encourages me to overindulge. I may need quite a bit more champagne.
Champagne or not, Ive plans for you when we get home, he said. Dancing with you always has a profound effect on me. In the early days of our acquaintance, after the death of my first husband, Colin had inquired whether the conventions of mourning helped me manage my grief. Id told him no, and admitted to keenly missing dancing. Hed taken me in his arms at once, there in my drawing room, and the waltz we shared left me breathless, tingling, and more than a little confused. All these years later, the memory of that evening never failed to make me tremble with desire. My eyes met his and I felt the delicious anticipation that comes with waiting for a kiss.
The kiss did not come. The pleasant sounds that had surrounded usthe Highland schottische, laughter, and the rustle of silk skirtsfaded to nothing as a voice boomed below us.
Ill kill you! The speaker was standing at the bottom of the stairs, talking so loudly no one in the immediate vicinity need strain to decipher every syllable of the conversation. Shes innocent in all this. I will not stand by and see her ruined.
He looked like every other man at the ball, elegant in his evening kit. But the strain on his facebulging eyes, cherry red splashed across his cheekscame from anger, not from the exertion of dancing. The gentleman across from him stepped back, raising his hands as if to push away his companion.
Its not any business of mine, he said. I was only trying to warn you. To keep you from making an enormous mistake.
Speak of this to anyone else and you are a dead man. Ill not have Pollys reputation destroyed.
He was already too late to save it.
Emily! Ivy Brandon, my dearest childhood friend and quite possibly the sweetest woman in England, tugged at my arm. Have you heard? Polly Sanders, whos to marry
Shhh, listen, I said and motioned to the gentlemen below.
Oh. Oh, I say. Ivys eyes widened and she lifted her hand to her mouth as she watched Thomas Lacey punch the other man square in the jaw. It appears he already knows.
Colin broke away from us and rushed down the steps, forcing himself between the fighters, ducking to avoid a blow.
Thats enough, he said. Whatever it is, youre causing more of a scene than it sounds like you want, Lacey. Walk with me and tell me whats going on. They hadnt taken more than five steps when the Londonderrys butler approached and pulled my husband aside. Their heads bent together for only an instant as the servant handed Colin an envelope. He bowed to my husband and retreated but not before shooting a disparaging look at his mistress recently fighting guests.
Sort this out amongst yourselves in private if you must, Colin said to the gentlemen, folding the note when hed finished reading. Ive no more time for your antics. He turned on his heel and took the stairs two at a time, reaching Ivy and me in a matter of seconds.
Urgent business, Im afraid. Theres been a fire in Southwark. Forgive me? I know I can rely on the Brandons to see you home, he said, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. Ill meet you there as soon as I can.
* * *
One might have thought the ball would fall to pieces after such a scandalous interruption, but this was not the case. The orchestra continued to play, couples turned around the dance floor, and the guests consumed a steady stream of champagne. But Ivy and I had lost our taste for frivolity and asked her husband to call for the carriage and take us to my house in Park Lane.
At the end of festive evenings, my friends and I often retired to my library, with its tall windows, wide fireplace, and cherry bookcases that went all the way to the ceiling. I displayed my collection of ancient Greek vases here, and felt more sentimental about them than I did any of the other objects in the house. It was a Greek vase owned by my first husband that had sparked my interest in antiquities. As for the room itself, it had been my preferred gathering spot from the moment Colin and I were married. Tonight, however, it felt too hot and close. The night had cooled, but the air inside was still cloying, so we sat in the garden, Ivy and I perched on wrought-iron chairs while her husband, Robert, leaned against a large tree near one of the Japanese lanterns lighting the space around us. Behind him rose a sculpture of Artemis, her graceful arm steady as she pulled back an arrow in her strong bow. An old friend of mine had made the piece, a modern copy of a Roman copy of the long-lost Greek original, fashioned by my favorite ancient sculptor, Praxiteles.
I still hold out hope for Polly, Ivy said. Thomas Lacey is a younger son. Its entirely possible his mother will let him go through with the marriage. Its not as if it would make any real difference to the family.
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