Agatha Christie - Masterpieces in Miniature: Stories: The Detectives; Parker Pyne; Harley Quin, Hercule Poirot, and Miss Marple

Masterpieces in miniature

AGATHA THE DETECTIVES Part 1 PYNE O ne da y, ha vi ng lunc h a t a C or ne r Ho us e, I was e nra pt ure d b y a conversation on statistics going on at a table behind me. I turned my hea d a nd c a ught a va gue gl i mp s e o f a b a l d hea d, glas s es , a nd a be a ming s mile I ca ugh t s ight, t hat is , o f M r. Pa rke r P yne. I had ne ve r t ho ught a bo ut s tat is t ics be fo re (a nd ind ee d s eldo m t hink o f t he m no w !) b ut t he e nt h us ia s m w it h w h ic h t he y w e r e b e in g d is - cussed awakened my interes t. I was jus t cons idering a new s eries of s hort stories. The n and there I decided on the general treat ment and s c op e, a nd in d ue co ur s e e nj o yed w r it in g t he m.

M y o w n fa vo r it es a re The C as e of t he Dis co nte nted Hus ba nd a nd T he C as e of t he R ic h W o ma n, t he t he me fo r t he lat te r be in g s ugges te d to me b y ha ving been addres sed by a s trange wo ma n ten years before when I w as loo k ing int o a s hop w ind ow. S he s aid w it h t he ut mo s t ve no m: Id like to know what I can do with all the money I ve got. I m too s eas ick fo r a ya c ht a nd I ve go t a co up le o f car s a nd t hr ee fur coatsand too much ric h food fair tur ns my s to mach. Startled, I mur mured, Hospitals ? She s norted, Hos pitals ? I dont mean char-ity. I want to get my mo ney s worth, and departed wrathfully. That, of cours e, was now twentyfive years ago.

Today all s uch problems would be solved for her by the inco me tax inspector, and she would probably be more wrathful still! Fro m the introduction to the 1953 Penguin U. K. edition of Parker Pyne Investigates 1. THE CASE

MIDDLEAGED WIFE Four grunts, an indignant voice asking why nobody could leave a hat alone, a slammed door, and Mr. Packington had departed to catch the eight-forty-five to the City. Mrs.

Packington sat on at the breakfast table. Her face was flushed, her lips were pursed, and the only reason she was not crying was that at the last minute anger had taken the place of grief. I wont stand it, said Mrs. Packington. I wont stand it! She remained for some moments brooding, and then murmured: The minx. Nasty sly little cat! How George can be such a fool! Anger fad ed; grief came back.

Tears came into Mrs. Packing-tons eyes and rolled slowly down her middle-aged cheeks. Its all very well to say I wont stand it, but what can I do? Suddenly she felt alone, helpless, utterly forlorn. Slowly she took up the morning paper and read, not for the first time, an adver-tisement on the front page. 6 PARKER PYNE Ab s ur d ! s a id M r s . P ac k ingt o n, Ut te r ly abs ur d.

T he n: Aft e r all, I might just see... Whic h e xp la ins w hy at e le ve n o clock M rs . Pack ingto n, a litt le nervous, was being shown into Mr. Parker Pynes private office. As has been s a id, M rs . Packingt o n was ner vo us , b ut s o me how o r other, the mere s ight of Mr.

Parker Pyne brought a feeling of reas - s urance. He was large, not to say fat; he had a bald head of noble proportions, strong glasses and little twinkling eyes. Pray s it down, s aid M r. Parker P yne. You ha ve co me in a ns wer to my advertisement? he added helpfully. Yes, said Mrs.

Packington, and stopped there. And yo u a r e no t ha p p y, s a id M r . P a r k e r P y ne i n a c he e r f u l, matter-of-fact voice. 7 PARKER PYNE Very few people are. You would really be s ur-prised if you knew how few people are happy. I nd ee d ? s a id M r s .

P a c k ingt o n, no t fe e l i ng, ho w e ve r , t ha t it mattered whether other people were unhappy or not. Not interesting to you, I know, said M r. Parker Pyne, but very interesting to m e. You see, for thirty-five years of my life I have been engaged in the co mpiling of s tatistics in a government office. Now I have retired, and it has occurred to me to use the experience I have gained in a nove l fas hion. It is all s o s imple. Unhappines s can be class ified under five ma in heads no more, I as s ure you.

Once you know the cause of a malady, the remedy should not be impossible. I s t a nd i n t h e p la c e o f t he d o c t o r . T h e d o c t o r f i r s t d ia g no s e s t he patients dis order, then he proceeds to recomme nd a cours e of trea t me nt. T here a re cas es w here no trea t me n t ca n be o f a ny a va il. I f t ha t is s o, I s ay fra nk l y that I ca n do not hing. B ut I as s ure yo u, Mrs.

Packington, that if I undertake a cas e, the cure is practically guaranteed. T H E C A S E O F T H E M ID D L E - A G E D W IF E 9 Could it be so? Was this nonsense, or could it, perhaps, be true? Mrs. Packington gazed at him hopefully. Shall we diagnose your case? said Mr. Parker Pyne, smiling. He leaned back in his chair and brought the tips of his fingers to-gether.

The trouble concerns your husband. You have had, on the whole, a happy married life. Your husband has, I think, prospered. I think there is a young lady concerned in the caseperhaps a young lady in your husbands office. A typist, said Mrs. Packington.

A nasty made-up little minx, all lipstick and silk stockings and curls. The words rushed from her. Mr. Parker Pyne nodded in a soothing manner. There is no real harm in itthat is your husbands phrase, I have no doubt. His very words.

Why, therefore, should he not enjoy a T H E C A S E O F T H E M ID D L E - A G E D W IF E 1 0 pure friendship with this young lady, and be able to bring a little brightness, a little pleasure, into her dull existence? Poor child, she has so little fun. Those, I imagine, are his sentiments. Mrs. Packington nodded with vigor. Humbugall humbug! He takes her on the riverIm fond of going on the river myself, but five or six years ago he said it interfered with his golf. But he can give up golf for her. I like the theaterGeorge has always said hes too tired to go out at night.

Now he takes her out to dance dance! And comes back at three in the morning. II And doubtless he deplores the fact that women are so jealous, so unreasonably jealous when there is absolutely no cause for jealousy? Again Mrs. Packington nodded. Thats it. She asked sharply: How do you know 11 PARKER PYNE all this? Statistics, Mr. Parker Pyne said simply.

Im so miserable, said Mrs. Packington. Ive always been a good wife to George. I worked my fingers to the bone in our early days. I helped him to get on. Ive never looked at any other man.

His things are always mended, he gets good meals, and the house is well and economically run. And now that weve got on in the world and could enjoy ourselves and go about a bit and do all the things Ive looked forward to doing some day well, this! She swallowed hard. T H E C A S E O F T H E M ID D L E - A G E D W IF E 1 2 Mr. Parker Pyne nodded gravely. I assure you I understand your case perfectly. Andcan you do anything? She asked it almost in whisper.

Certain ly, my d ear lad y. There is a cure. Oh, yes, t here i s a cure. What is it? She waited, round-eyed, and expectant. Mr. Parker Pyne spoke quietly and firmly.

You will place your-self in my hands, and the fee will be two hundred guineas. Two hundred guineas! Exactly. You can afford to pay such a fee, Mrs. Packington. You would pay that sum for an operation. Happiness is just as important as bodily health.

I pay you afterward, I suppose? On the contrary, said Mr. Parker Pyne. You pay me in advance. Mrs. 13 PARKER PYNE Packington rose. Im afraid I dont see my way To buying a pig in a poke? said Mr.

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