Megan ORussell - Feather and Flame

1

I wish I could give you a different ending to my tale. I wish the words I had to offer brought comfort and joy.

I am not powerful enough to change the path I have tread, and I will not lie.

I will not allow myself to commit that awful offense that ripped my heart from my chest and left me less than human.

I am only an orphan from Harane.

I am broken beyond repair.

There is no other truth for me to tell.

2

The scent of charcoal filled the little room, and a low rumble carried through the door.

I listened carefully as I ground the black lumps into fine powder. The sound from the corridor stayed steady.

Deirdre had brought flowers from the sorcerers garden. I would need to use a fresh mortar and pestle to grind the petals once Id finished with the coal.

The rumble grew louder.

If I made good time, Id be able to finish a fresh set of inks in the next few days.

That answer is no longer acceptable. The rumble of voices grew into actual words.

The reply was not loud enough for me to hear.

I set the mortar and pestle aside and went to the washstand in the corner. Someone had left sweet-smelling soap and fine, white cloths for me to dry my hands on.

Its been months! The angry shout rattled through my door. If Colm cant manage it, then send someone who can.

I dried my hands on a cloth, leaving pale gray streaks across the pristine white. I didnt feel guilty for leaving a mess. Id find fresh white cloths in my workroom in the morning no matter how badly I damaged the fabric.

I dont care about the clans rules. This war is a chivving waste of time, and you know it.

I fastened my cloak around my neck. The heavy fabric held a chill from being hung against the stone wall.

Are we just supposed to wait for more people to die?

I squared my shoulders before opening the door.

Emmet stood in the corridor, glowering at Ailis.

What exactly do you want me to do about it? Ailis asked, not bothering to glance my way.

Emmet didnt look in my direction either.

Take me up to see Orla, Emmet said. Let me at least try to convince her to allow us to join the fight.

She wouldnt

You cant tell me youre content to stay locked in Lygan Hall. Emmet spoke over Ailis. There is a war going on. We should be at the front, making sure Colm does more than drink frie and let the siege continue.

Ailis pursed her lips and gripped the hilt of the sword at her hip. Orla has chosen to sequester herself while the clan is at war. She is our Elder. Theres nothing

Were running out of time, Emmet said. Spring will be here soon. We have to be ready to go out into Ilbrea. We cant let Colm drag out the fight with the Hayes.

What a pleasant afternoon, Emmet. I stepped out of my workshop and into the hall.

The guards lining the corridor bowed to me.

I dug my nails into my palms, fighting to hide my hatred of their deference.

Are you ready for our walk? I asked.

Emmet stayed glaring at Ailis.

She ran her tongue over her teeth before speaking. Im getting really sick of having this fight with you.

Then let me see Orla, Emmet said.

Are you going to wade through the whole argument again? I looped my hand through Emmets arm and tried to steer him down the hall.

He wouldnt budge.

Orla wont come out of her chambers, I said. Youre not allowed into her chambers. Even if you were, you and I still wouldnt be allowed to join Colm in fighting against the Hayes Clan.

You shouldnt

I should stay safely in Lygan Hall, I know. I yanked on Emmets arm. He finally started walking down the corridor. The Hayes want me dead, and my going into their territory would only be offering myself up for the slaughter. Besides, my place isnt fighting in the clan war anyway. I am very aware of your opinion, brother.

He didnt respond. The only sound the hall offered was our footsteps against the stone floor.

Now its Ailiss turn to speak, I said. Shell tell you there is no argument she could make to convince Orla that Liams people should join the war, even if she could get into the chamber to see our Elder.

Its true. Ailis followed behind us with the rest of the guards. Liams duty is to protect us from the paun. The clan war is not his battle, and our place is at our Trueborns side.

The guards footsteps echoed through the hall as well, ruining my chance of hearing anyone approach.

Then Emmet will say something about there being evil in the world and how only cowards hide while innocents suffer, I pressed on. Ailis will say again that we cant chase after Colm. Our place is with the Trueborn, and his duty lies in Ilbrea.

We are useless here, Emmet said.

Ill tell you that, no matter how many paun were creeping into the mountains when you came to Lygan Hall, theres too much snow between us and Ilbrea to attack the Guilds, and youll sink into a silent rage that will terrify everyone we pass.

A guard who looked barely older than fifteen scurried forward to open the door for me.

I nodded to him before stepping into the wide corridor beyond.

Benches lined the walls, and flames leapt cheerfully in a massive fireplace. Cold swept in through the wide windows overlooking the valley, but it was my presence that froze the people whod been passing by.

I let them stare at me for a moment, but I couldnt bring myself to acknowledge them.

Come on, Emmet said softly.

I fixed my gaze on him as we cut through the gawking Black Bloods. Have I missed a part of the daily argument? Is there anything youd like to add?

The long scar on my brothers left cheek twitched.

Well? I bumped my shoulder against him.

Youre annoying when you do that, Emmet said.

Im your sister, I said. Its my duty to annoy you. And we all must do our duty.