Rune Woodman - The Ordinary Animals

It had always been in the back of Alberts mind that everyone was in possession of a little bit of magic; everyone, it seemed, except him.

Magic didnt really exist, Albert knew that. But there were times when he would dream of making good use of it, if it did. Like right now, while he was being chased down the street by the bullies from school. With magic, hed be able to turn them into ducks, but in the real world he had to run or face the consequences of being caught four punches in the arm. One from Alice Blunt, the ringleader of the gang; one from Randy Adams, that would probably leave a bruise; one from Sonny-boy Smith, that would definitely leave a bruise and one from Skippy Baylou; that would feel like a kittens paw compared to the others.

This recent round of chasing and punching was yet another of the little problems that marked the days in Alberts life. Firstly, he hated his name Albert. It wasnt that the name was so bad, what he didnt like was the way it was used. Randy would holler it across the playground, drawing it out in a menacing manner, Aaaaal-berrrrrt. Or it could be condensed and spat out like bullets when queuing at the swimming pool, Albert-Albert-Albert-Albert-Albert!

Louise, Alberts only true friend, had told him, Wherever you go your names going to go with you, Albert, so youll just have to get used to it. And there was his next problem Louise had moved away at the beginning of the year and left him all alone. While her advice was good, it didnt really help. He was on the verge of cracking and felt that it wouldnt be long before he took Randy by the scruff of the neck, pushed his face into a toilet bowl and pressed the flusher.

But it was all wishful thinking; Albert knew it would never happen. He was too frightened to even go into the boys toilets. The bigger boys waited near the door and hit you if you didnt give them money.

Next year, when he got to high school, he wanted to leave the bullying behind, but he had no idea how. So for now, when the bullies chased him, he ran.

Were gunna get you Albert-Albert! hollered the squinting-faced Alice as they rounded a corner after him. Alice claimed that her red hair and freckles were the result of the blood sucking shed done as a vampire in a former life. Louise swore black and blue that one day, she had seen Alice punch a teacher.

Albert wasnt about to let any of the gang catch him but running on the footpath was slowing him down.

There were too many tree roots and sprawling cats, so he headed out onto the road.

With his lungs heaving and his heart racing, Albert knew he couldnt keep the pace for much longer. Hoping his pursuers were also feeling the strain, he took a chance and glanced over his shoulder.

He was so wrong!

Over the top of his bouncing backpack, he could see that Sonny-boy was almost within grabbing distance. In a panic, Albert scanned the surrounds for some sort of saviour. There was a bus parked across the road letting on the last of its passengers. Ive got to get that bus, Albert whispered but he knew he wouldnt make it before being caught; Sonny-boy would catch him for sure if he didnt do something to slow him down.

Albert changed course and ran for the bus. Then in a simple move that proved to be a piece of genius, he held his hands behind his back and shrugged to loosen his backpack so it slid from his shoulders and down to his elbows. At just the right moment he freed the pack and let it fall to the ground. It became tangled with Sonnys feet and sent him head over heels like a horse with no front legs. It was just in time for Albert to launch himself across the footpath, run along the side of the bus and up the steps; the doors closing quickly behind him.

Cheering quietly at avoiding the punch-fest, Albert realised two things: one his bus pass, phone and wallet were all in his backpack and, two he had no idea where the bus was going.

In front of him, a well-rounded old lady held the bus drivers attention. She was hunched over her handbag, which was practically resting in the drivers lap, and rummaging through its countless compartments for her pensioner card. Her constant chatter did not stop, not even long enough to take breath. The poor bus driver winced at her through a crooked smile.

Sneaking past them both, Albert made it onto the bus without his pass. Now, where on earth was he headed?

The old lady eventually found her card and paid her fare. A seat had been vacated for her and she tottered to it complaining about the expense of public transport.

The moment she bent her back to sit, the drivers foot was on the accelerator and the bus took off with a lurch that dumped the old lady firmly into her seat.

Outside, Sonny-boy had picked himself up and rejoined his friends on the footpath. They watched as the bus trundled down the road. Alice made a rude gesture before turning to look for trouble elsewhere.

***

Standing in the aisle near the back of the bus, Albert looked around for clues to its destination. There were no other school kids but that only meant it hadnt come from a school area. Some people had shopping bags but there were shops all over town. Looking over his shoulder, he saw two young women chatting to each other on the back seat. One had her hair in pigtails, the other held a large bag in her lap with the words Beach Crazy written on the front.

Albert guessed that they were going to the beach, perhaps for an evening swim. There was only one beach nearby and it wasnt too far from his home. He sighed with relief. On weekends during school holidays, he and Louise rode their bikes from his house to the beach and back without much effort. All he had to do was wait until the end of the line then he could walk home.

Now that he knew where he was going Albert relaxed, stared out the window and started his favourite pastime daydreaming. Usually he dreamt about how hed defeat Alice and her gang but today was something different today his daydreams were full of memories of the last time he and Louise had been to the beach. Before long the bus came to a halt and the driver called, Last stop!

This brought Alberts attention back to the real world and he couldnt believe they were already at the beach. Apart from himself and the driver, the bus was empty. Albert looked out the window. There was nothing to see but miserable looking buildings, sad cafs and sagging factories. There was no beach.

You getting off kid? the driver yelled down the aisle.

I thought this was the beach bus, Albert asked as he hurried to the front.

It is, said the driver, thats where we came from.

Oh, Albert stepped down off the bus and turned back to the driver. I dont suppose youre going to go back?

Sorry mate. Its the end of my shift. Im taking the bus back to the depot and going home. Therell be another one along in twenty minutes or so.

Okay, Albert gave a weak smile. Thank you.

The bus hissed and rumbled as the doors closed and it lurched away.

Albert didnt have a watch so he had no way of timing twenty minutes; he usually used his phone to tell the time. He settled on the bus stop seat and tried to work out how long twenty minutes would be. A thought inspired him, I can count the seconds!

After working out how many seconds were in twenty minutes he leant back, looked up at the gathering clouds and began to count, One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand, the seat wasnt very comfortable to sit on so he lay down and used his arm as a pillow. Four-one-thousand, five-one-thousand ...

By thirty-one-thousand Alberts eyes were drooping. At thirty-five-one-thousand, he was asleep.