Nickelodeon Publishing - Naughty Nautical Neighbors

Deep in the Pacific Ocean, way below the tropical isle of Bikini Atoll, lies the underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It isnt on any map because no one could possibly chart a place like Bikini Bottom! In this underwater paradise, fish walk, clams talk, and the Krusty Krabhome of the Krabby Pattyis just down the block.

Bikini Bottom is also the home of Squidward Tentacles. Just about everything annoys this whiny and bitter squid. If Squidward had his way, he would be left alone to play his beloved clarinet and work on his gallery of self-portraits.

On one particular day, Squidward was cooking up a simply spectacular dish.

Woooooow! Squidward exclaimed, admiring his work. This is the best souffl Ive ever created!

The souffl was in the shape of a little mountain. On top sat a miniature version of Squidward, sitting on a throne under a little palm tree. He looked like the king of the worldor at least the king of his little world.

Squidward tasted his culinary creation. Mmmmm congratulations, Chef! Youre a genius! he declared. But, wait! A dish like this calls for my best eating attire.

Quickly, Squidward threw off his apron. He jumped into a bath and started scrubbing.

I am the greatest chef on the ocean floor, he sang at the top of his lungs. Theres no one better than me!

When he was squeaky clean, Squidward hopped out of the bath, grabbed a towel, and dried around each of his numerous suction cups. Finally, he put on his best pressed suit.

Well, I look stunning, if I do say so myself, he said. And I do! Then, licking his chops, he added, And now its time to eat!

Sitting down at the table, he picked up a knife and fork. Squidward was about to dig in when he heard a familiar sound. A sound that would make his hair stand upif he had any. A sound that annoyed him twenty-four hours a day the sound of SpongeBob SquarePants!

Tee-hee-hee! came from outside Squidwards window. Oh, no! Squidward groaned.

Tee-hee-hee! was heard again.

Squidward stood up and went to the window to see his nightmare come true: There sat SpongeBob SquarePants with his best friend, Patrick Star. All three of these nautical neighbors lived next door to each other in this area of Bikini Bottom.

There goes my peace and quiet! complained Squidward.

SpongeBob and Patrick were sitting on opposite sides of Squidwards pathway, playing a game. They each had a bottle of bubbles and a bubble wand. One would whisper into a bubble, and the bubble would then float over to the other friend and pop out a message. It was their favorite game.

SpongeBob dipped his bubble wand. Then he whispered into it and sent it off toward Patrick. When the bubble reached him, it popped and said: Hi, Patrick.

Tee-hee-hee! giggled Patrick.

Squidward didnt find this funny at all. To him it was just extremely annoying.

Patrick dipped his bubble wand, whispered a message into a new bubble, and sent it SpongeBobs way. When it popped, he heard: Hey, SpongeBob!

Tee-hee-hee! SpongeBob laughed.

Squidward sighed. How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?

Then it was SpongeBobs turn again. He took a deep breath and exhaled a whisper into a bubble: Patrick, youre my best friend in the whole neighborhood.

Aarrgghh! Squidward couldnt take it anymore. I must figure out how to shut those two up! An evil plan quickly formed in hissquishy head. He went over to his souffl and drained some of the liquid out and into a cup. He stirred it vigorously until it began to foam up. Then he, too, blew a message into a bubble and sent it out his window toward Patrick.

Squidwards bubble caught up with another bubble that was already making its way toward Patrick. It was a bubble showdown! But Squidwards evil bubble soon kicked the other bubble into the deep blue sea, never to be heard from again.

The evil bubble popped near Patricks ear. It was Squidward imitating SpongeBob: Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know.

What? said Patrick. He immediately whispered a message into another bubble and sent it to SpongeBob: Do you really think that, SpongeBob? Of course, SpongeBob knew nothing about Squidwards dirty tricks. He didnt know that Squidward was imitating him and calling Patrick an idiot. He didnt know that his message about Patrick being his best friend was being replaced with Squidwards mean one.

So, in his good-natured way, SpongeBob sent a bubble to Patrick that said, Of course, Patrick! Anyone with eyes could see that!

Patrick was shocked. Thats it! he declared, and blew into another bubble. Well, I think youre ugly! And and yellow is ugly!

Patrick, what are you talking about?! asked a very confused SpongeBob. Then Squidward decided it was time to stir up even more trouble. He immediately made more and more bubbles to send out. Imitating Patrick, Squidward whispered into a few bubbles and sent them in SpongeBobs direction. The first one popped: SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you.

SpongeBob couldnt believe what he was hearing!

Then another bubble popped in front of SpongeBob: You give bottom dwellers a bad name!

WHAT?! cried SpongeBob.

And another bubble popped: If I had a dollar for every brain you dont have, Id have ONE dollar!

Squidward couldnt help snickering at his own insults. This is the perfect revenge to get back at those two!

Then, imitating SpongeBob, Squidward whispered into a bubble and sent it to Patrick: Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shopas some NEWSPAPER!

Well, youre a big dummy, you DUMMY! yelled Patrick.

SpongeBob narrowed his eyes. Yeah? Well, that means that so are you! he yelled back.

Uh dummy! Patrick shouted.

Sticks and stones make clog my pores, but names will never hurt me! replied SpongeBob, his hands on his hips.

As SpongeBob and Patrick continued to argue and call each other names, Squidward took a lawn chair outside. He planted himself ringside, with his souffl and a fork. Theres nothing better than dinner theater! He laughed.

And youre a turkey! continued Patrick.

Well, youre a bigger one! SpongeBob shot back.

Patrick had to think fast. Well, youre still yellow and you know what else is yellow?

What? said SpongeBob.

YOU ARE! replied Patrick.

Oh, good one! Squidward said with a nod.

SpongeBob couldnt take it anymore. He yelled at Patrick, Yeah? Well, it doesnt matter what you call me, because I never want to see you again, anyway!

I dont want to see you, either! Patrick replied, and stormed off to his house.

SpongeBob rushed into his own house. Aw, tartar sauce! he said, slamming the door.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! cackled Squidward.

Squidward was laughing so hard, he didnt realize there was still a forkful of food in his mouth. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha gulp ccckkkk! Suddenly he began to choke! Not only was he choking on his souffl, but on the fork, too!

He tried to swallow. Gguauu