Ged Maybury - Pig Apples

Acknowedging the talented staff of Scholastic NZ: Christine Dale, Penny Scown, Rachel Clare & Vasanti Unka; who saw this book into its 2002 print edition*.

Cover photo: Geoff Dale. This version tweaked up by Ged Maybury, 2019.

* [This edit is slightly different. G.M.]

CHAPTER ONE

T HE DOG RAN ONTO THE road, his tail wagging and his fat black belly swaying from side to side. He was happy - hed found something very interesting.

Blowfly! Hey, Blowfly!! called Piho.

Come here, boy!! called his mate Randy, Cmon! But the dog didnt come. Didnt those humans understand? This was dead possum! Blowflys pleasure was short-lived. Piho grabbed him by the collar and hauled him off the fur-and-guts pancake.

Geez, Dog! he growled, As if you hadnt had enough breakfast already!

Waddya mean? asked Randy as he caught up, puffing.

This isnt a dog, explained Piho, its an eating machine! He scoffed my breakfast while I wasnt looking, then he had a go at the Sunday roast. Wasnt even defrosted!

So thats why your mum sent you out?

Yeah, to keep him from trying to eat the stove too.

Randy laughed and they went on up the narrow country road. Blowfly whined pathetically and looked back at his missed prize.

So anyway, asked Randy at last, how come youve suddenly got a dog? I thought your folks werent the doggy type.

Well, hes actually one of Uncle Matts pig-dogs, but unc shot himself in the hip last Thursday. It was Blowflys fault, apparently. Knocked the gun and bang! So uncs in hospital and were taking care of his dogs. Actually my cousins scored the good ones, and I got dumped with this thing!

Randy peered at Blowfly, Whats wrong with him?

Whats wrong with him!? exclaimed Piho, Hes just the most stupid, useless pig-dog ever born! Here, Ill show you. Piho found a stick, Hey, Blowfly, chase the stick! Piho waved it twice then threw. Blowfly ran around in a circle, woofing, watching Pihos hand intently for another stick to appear.

See?

But Randy wasnt exactly listening. He was looking at a scruffy old signboard half-vanished into the scrub at the edge of the road.

JOURNALE FOREST RESERVE

This land was given to the

Kainui District Council by

Jacques Journale 1882 - 1961

I didnt know this was here.

Didnt you? asked Piho, giving up on the stick, Its been here for yonks.

Has it?

Nah; aliens put it here last night.

Oh. Randy looked up at the forest of old trees that covered the hill. It was nearly the middle of winter but a scattering of autumn leaves still fluttered on the branches. Very pretty. Looks more like England, doesnt it? he said.

You've never been there.

Nah, course not. Seen it on TV.

Uh.

There was an open gate beside the sign. Blowfly tugged forward against Pihos grip, gasping in his choker-chain and dribbling endlessly. They could hear a car coming up the road, and it was narrow. Piho let Blowfly loose. He bounded up the path and they followed at a more leisurely pace. The track was hardly used and carpeted in a thick layer of fallen leaves. Randy looked about. The sun beamed through the leaves in long faint parallel shafts, highlighting every subtle shade of colour. In the soft silence an invisible bird sang.

Geez this is boring!

He started looking around for a stick to break or something to kick to pieces. Then he noticed that the ground was covered in thousands of little nut-like things. He bent down and scooped some up. Cool, look at these! Hey - I know! Theyre acorns! Ive seen them on TV! He looked up, So, these must be acorn trees then.

Oak trees, you moron! Piho said.

I knew that! snapped Randy indignantly.

They mooched on. Blowfly was running about, sniffing and grunting. Hed come back every minute or so to slobber on the boys shoes before racing off again. Happy dog.

The boys were happy too. Blowfly wasnt getting hit by cars or rolling in dead possum.

Hey, said Piho suddenly lets see if we can find the apple trees.

Apple trees?

Nah, I said booger trees. Course I meant apple trees! Theres a place somewhere up here where an old house used to be and theres like two or three apple trees and stuff. Cmon. Piho started heading up the hill. Randy followed. But then they both stopped. Blowfly was barking somewhere behind them.

Aww, geez! Now what?!

Hes probably got a possum up a tree! yelled Piho enthusiastically, Come on! And he went crashing back down the hill.

They found Blowfly scuffing madly at the ground and barking joyously.

Hes got something! said Randy.

I cant see anything, replied Piho doubtfully.

Well he must have something .

Nah; this is Blowfly were talking about! sneered Piho. He bent and looked closely at the spot where the dog was digging. It all just looked like dirt. Blowfly scratched deeper, paused, woofed at the dirt, and dug some more. He had exposed part of a tree-root and seemed to be trying to pull it right out of the ground.

Randy glanced impatiently at his watch.

Whats the rush? asked Piho.

Nothin. Randy muttered, gazing off through the trees. He was wondering what Tammy was doing.

#

A H, TAMMY! LONG THIN gawky Tammy Turinger. How he loved her! And how she hadnt talked to him all year since that silly business last summer. Just a little accident, that was all - a few hundred people got splattered with rotten seaweed. No big deal, but snd shed taken it all so personally! Sheesh!

#

H EY! SHOUTED PIHO suddenly, Its an ant nest or something!

Randy snapped back to reality. There was certainly something in Blowflys hole; a black golf-ball-sized knob. Piho pulled Blowfly back and grabbed it. There was no sign of any ants.

What the hecks that? asked Randy.

Dunno. Piho had to hold it higher to stop Blowfly from pawing it from his hand. The dog whined anxiously after its prize. The boys peered at the object. It looked sort of shrivelled, and slightly sticky, and sort of woody, but not totally hard. Its a petrified aliens brain! Piho suddenly announced, waving it around in the air, Weee-zooo-weee-zoooo...!

Gizza a squeeze. begged Randy.

Piho backed off and looked at him peculiar-like, Aww, what are ya?

No, I mean let me touch it!

Piho laughed and handed it over. Randy squeezed it. It was like a very firm sponge. Almost wood, but not quite. And it had a distinctive smell. Randy sniffed it closely. Pwwugh!

What? Piho took it back and sniffed too. Pig. he said with authority.

Eh?

It smells like a wild pig.