Shaw Kuzki - Soul Lanterns

When the sunlight fades on August 6, the lantern floating begins by the bridge.

Lantern upon lantern of red and green paper.

Once their flames are lit, they begin to glow as if theyre alive.

When you set them in the river, they shine their light on the dark water as well.

The lanterns and souls roll along together.

The lights gleam.

The lanterns pitch feebly, jostling together as they float away.

Some lanterns dont manage to join the current. They bob endlessly by the riverbank.

An old man in an open-collared shirt prods them with a pole.

Some lanterns tip over. They continue floating away on their sides.

The many-colored lanterns, their lights flickering, float away to the far-off sea.

Ever since she was too young to understand, Nozomi would see the lanterns off each summer with her family, and she would draw a picture in her journal for school. Her little brother, Akiyuki, would say the lanterns floating on the river looked like red and green cubes of kanten, and Nozomi, for her part, would recall an illustration from the story of Aladdin and thought they looked like the jewels he finds in the cave. Then she would bring her forehead right up to the paper and draw The Night of the Lantern Floating Ceremony.

In the twenty-fifth summer since the bomb fell, Nozomis mother knelt next to her and her brother in prayer. There were two lanterns floating away from her hands. The green one had a name written on it, but the white one did not.

That summer, when Nozomi was a sixth grader, she thought it strange for the first time. Last year and the year before, and probably the years before that, too, her mother had released two lanterns. A green one and a white one. The white one never had a name. Nozomi had always seen it off without thinking, but now she wondered: Who is that lantern for?

Nozomis grandmother had also just gently released two lanterns. Each bore the name of a daughter. The pair of lanterns for the girls born a year apart glided onto the waters surface side by side as if holding hands. Their lights flickered, illuminating Nozomis praying grandmothers profile and creating shadows in her deep wrinkles.

On the riverbank were about as many people as there were lanterns. There were even more people behind them. People were floating lanterns on the opposite bank, too.

Nozomi could see an old couple standing huddled together as they watched. Seven lanterns had just been released. Six were pale red, some almost pink, and just one, in the middle, like the center of a flower, was yellow. The seven lanterns floated on the water like a fallen peach blossom and drifted away.

Following the blossom came another red lantern.

Nozomi felt like she had seen the person watching it somewhere before. But their face melted into the darkness, and the lantern joined the current and was swept away.

As Nozomi strained her eyes to look at the rivers surface, someone was watching her intently. The gaze was so strong that she noticed and turned around.

The woman was about Nozomis grandmothers age. When their eyes met, the womans widened, and she stared at Nozomi even harder. Then she seemed to make up her mind and came over to her. How old are you? she asked.

The way the old woman asked so pointedly, Nozomi didnt even hesitate before answering.

Im twelve.

The old woman shook her head and murmured something under her breath.

It sounded like That cant be.

Nozomi felt shy for no real reason and lowered her eyes. When she saw the womans worn-out shoes, she somehow felt like she had said something wrong. She looked away from her feet and added, But I only just turned.

After remaining silent for a moment, the woman asked, her face tense, Do you have an elder sister?

When Nozomi shook her head and answered that she only had a younger brother, the woman looked disappointed. Then she started to walk away, but turned on her heel and came back.

The clinging look in the old womans eyes frightened Nozomi, but she was rooted to the spot.

How old is your mother?

Shes forty-two.

Upon hearing her reply, the woman took a hard look at Nozomis face. Suddenly, there were tears forming in her eyes.

Nozomi was startled, and the old woman apologized repeatedly, Im sorry, Im sorry, as she fairly fled into the darkness.

Dumbfounded, Nozomi watched her go.

---

On their way home, Nozomis grandma was walking with some friends from the neighborhood. Her mother, walking a few paces behind them, seemed to be pondering something.

Nozomis mother had a more or less sunny personality, but when she was alone, she tended to read books and lose herself in thought. When Nozomi was little, she often felt, Mommys not here right now. She would get impatient and whine. Now that she was older, she was capable of giving her mother some space when her mind was elsewhere, but this time she couldnt help but start a conversation. The shock of her interaction with the old woman still hadnt worn off.