Lis Wiehl - AARP the Truth Advantage: The 7 Keys to a Happy and Fulfilling Life

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This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Copyright 2012 by Lis Wiehl and Bruce Littlefield. All rights reserved

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada

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ISBN 978-1-118-02515-4 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-15636-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-15637-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-15638-4 (ebk)

For my FBI agent dad, Richard Wiehl, the human lie detector

Acknowledgments

Good people live the truth, and I had the privilege to talk to, meet, and work with a lot of them for this book.

I want to thank my co-author Bruce Littlefielda person anyone would want to have as a friend. Hes a talent, a joy to work with, and someone that Im glad is in my life.

Im honored by my friends and colleagues who trusted me with their stories and by all the people from across America who took time to take the American Truth Survey, without their honesty and frankness this book would not have been possible. Thanks, too, to all of the amazing truth experts who graciously shared their expertise, including psychiatrist Dr. Dale Archer, former CIA special investigator Dan Crum, FBI Agent William Daly, deception and technology professor Dr. Jeffrey Hancock, communication expert Dr. Mark Knapp, Director of the Institute of Child Study Dr. Kang Lee, public relations professional Colleen McCarthy, relationship authority Dr. Margaret Paul, and body language expert Tonya Reiman.

Thanks to brilliant editorial assistant Karina Grudnikov, who contributed so many great ideas, and my Internet savvy intern, Ben Levine, who set up the American Truth Survey.

Our literary agent Todd Shuster, at Zachary Shuster Harmsworth, believed in this project from the beginning, and is not only a great agent, but also a gentleman and a friend. The team at Wiley Publishing was terrific to work with, including Executive Editor Tom Miller, who asked smart questions and gave great advice, Senior Production Editor Richard DeLorenzo, copyeditor Patricia Waldygo, Senior Editorial Assistant Jorge Amaral, Senior Marketing Manager Laura Cusack, and publicists Mike Onorato and Matt Smollon. Without their efforts, this book would not be in your hands.

Thank you, Bill OReilly, Roger Ailes, and Dianne Brandi. I feel incredibly honored to have your encouragement and support. And special thanks to Deirdre Imus, who instantly got The Truth Advantage message.

Mom, thank you for your unwavering belief in writing a book about telling the truth. You once said that life isnt fair, but if we tell the truth to others and, most importantly, to ourselves, we will navigate the course. You have been my role model all along.

And lastly, to my kids, Dani and Jacob: I couldnt be a prouder mom. When I look at the two of you, I see what my mom said is true. I am excited to see you navigate your own course (with the tiniest of meddling from me along the way).

Part One

Lets Be Honest

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

GEORGE ORWELL

Chapter 1

Get The Truth Advantage

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

SHAKESPEARE

This book will help you become a better, happier, and more powerful person by using only one toolthe truth.

When you tell the truth and can obtain the truth from others, you are manifesting your best qualities, both inwardly and outwardly. You are someone others want to have around. You are someone whom people listen to, learn from, and look to for strength. You respect yourself, and others respect you. In short, your life is happier.

Through dealing with hundreds of juries and analyzing news and newsmakers, Ive learned that liars get caught, and the truth always wins out. If you look closely at those around you, youll realize that in your everyday interactions with friends, family, and colleagues, when you tell the truth, people like you, respect you, and are truthful with you in return. If youre being honestwhether in business or your personal lifeyou are both attractive and persuasive. People want to know you and help you more; by being truthful and understanding of the truths that others tell you, you forge deep, powerful, life-changing bonds and relationships.

How, then, does truth help you rise above? Why is telling the truth easier and more powerful than not doing so? Mark Twain put it simply, If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything. The truth helps you inside and out: inside, because you avoid the inner turmoil produced by lying; and in your outer life, through trusting relationships with others. The truth not only shows on your face, it manifests in your life. You only have to tell the truth once, but you have to remember and retell a lie forever.