Peter Jacobsen - Embedded Balls

Table of Contents

A terrific book, a confident, honest, personal, and lively effort.

--The Oregonian

Embedded Balls is filled with funny stuff and great observations about our world. If I steal some of the lines from this book to use as a commentator, do I have to give credit? --Paul Azinger

Peter has always made me laugh, and hell make you laugh, too. He did it with Buried Lies and hes done it again with Embedded Balls. A great inside look at the world of professional golf. --Fred Couples

Peter understands as well as anyone the life of the touring pro--the ups and downs, the highs and lows--what makes us tick. Its all here in Embedded Balls. --John Daly

Peter thinks hes a rock n roll musician and I think Im a golfer. Talk about self-delusion! But man, is he funny. --Huey Lewis

Ive learned a lot from Peter through the years. I learned a lot more from this book! This is required reading for all true golfers.

-Chris DiMarco

Pleasant and amiable. --Publishers Weekly

Opinionated, insightful, and provocative. --Library Journal

Delightful... An entertaining look at pro golfs lighter side.

--Kirkus Reviews

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I CANT BELIEVE its been twelve years since Jack Sheehan and I wrote Buried Lies: True Tales and Tall Stories from the PGA Tour. Back then I was considered an old fart on the flat-belly tour, and now Im a young punk on the fat-belly tour. But I still tee it up on the younger circuit several weeks a year just to test myself and because Im not ready to quit playing some of my favorite courses and hanging out with some of my favorite people. As Ive said in interviews, I may not be as good a player as I once was, but I have the capability to be as good for one week as I ever was. I proved that to myself and the doubting public when I won the Greater Hartford Open two years ago at the age of forty-nine. I hadnt won in eight years and I know some people think I must have cut over on about the 15th hole to shoot the scores I did and beat those youngsters, but I promise I didnt cheat. You can look it up. The whole damn thing was on television.

Two of my favorite people, Payne Stewart and Jack Lemmon, are no longer with us, and I miss them both terribly. The former was my partner in a garage band, Jake Trout and the Flounders, and the other was my partner in crimethe crime of missing about eighteen consecutive cuts in the AT&T National Pro-Am at Pebble Beach. As I said in my eulogy at Jacks funeral, I can never tee it up at Pebble again without seeing Lemmon hit his patented big-ass slice off the first tee and yelling so loudly that everyone lined up along both sides of the fairway and in downtown Carmel could hear, There goes a PIECE-A-SHIIIIIIIT!

One time Lem actually hit a duck slice off that tee that bounced off a tree, went through the open door of the lodge, and into a bathroom. I hope they flush that sucker down the toilet, where it belongs, he said.

I share some other Lemmon moments, and memories of Payne, in the following pages.

Another great man I lost just about the time the first book was going to print was my father, Erling Jacobsen, whom everyone called Jake. Dad fought throat and colon cancer and other ailments bravely before we lost him in the summer of 1992. My father was a gentleman golfer, a wonderfully kind and intelligent man, and a success in his insurance business. But what he knew about popular culture or the stuff youd read in People magazine you could put in a thimble. He was all about his work and his family and the game of golf. Anyway, shortly after my parents divorced, in the early 1980s, I decided to take my dad to Vail, Colorado, for a short vacation. Dad had been spending a lot of time at home, and he was really struggling with being single again. He didnt have a clue how to keep a house or prepare a meal. He would have needed a cookbook to boil water.

The occasion of the trip was the Gerald Ford Invitational, a pro-celebrity event that raised a lot of money for charity. I had been on the Tour just five years, had one victory under my belt, and was not what youd call a name player in the field. So I was surprised when I saw my pairing for the first round. I was scheduled to play with none other than Clint Eastwood. I remember thinking how cool it would be for my dad to watch me play with an American icon, but I wanted him to be surprised when he showed up at the course the next day, so I didnt say anything. Dad was already on cloud nine because after wed flown in to Vail, we were joined on the bus ride to the hotel by Joe Garagiola, who back then was the color commentator on baseballs game of the week. Baseball being one of the few things my dad watched on television, he thought it was the coolest thing ever that he had made a buddy out of a major celebrity like Joe. We could have ended the trip right there with the bus ride and Dad would have thought it was a great vacation. I couldnt help thinking hed be bowled over when he met the number-one box-office star in the world the next day.

We had begun the round and were walking down the fairway, and I asked my playing partners if they minded if my dad walked with us between the ropes, because the gallery was very large. Of course all the people were there to see Clint. And on about the 4th hole, we had a little holdup, so Dad walked over to Eastwood and said, So Clint, what do you do?

And Clint kind of smiled and looked at my dad and realized that he was serious, that he had no idea who he was. And that really tickled him. He also probably felt sorry for my dad, thinking, Where the hell has this son of a bitch been that he doesnt know who I am? But he was very polite and said, Im an actor.

I was dying of embarrassment at this exchange, and couldnt believe my dad had done this, but what could I do?

So Dad said, Oh, the hell you are. Have you been in anything I might know?

And Clint said, Well, lets see. Ive done the Dirty Harry movies and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and a few others.

And Dad said, Nope... no... I havent seen any of those.

So Clint mentioned a couple others, but those drew a blank as well.

And finally it got down to where Eastwood mentioned that one of his first roles was in a television series called Rawhide, and my dad lit up.

Oh, yeah. You were Rowdy Yates. I loved that show.

And from that point on Dad called him Rowdy, and they got along famously.

SINCE THE FIRST BOOK WAS PUBLISHED, I have done a lot of stuff. I spent a year as a golf commentator for ABC Sports, won back-to-back tournaments, and led the money list for half a season. Along with my partner Jim Hardy, Ive designed about a dozen golf courses, put my name on a game called Golden Tee that has created a cult following of bar rats Im proud to call my own, produced a couple of ongoing shows on the Golf Channel that endeavor to take some of the stiffness out of the game, watched Peter Jacobsen Productions grow into one of the most respected event management firms in the country, and seen Jans and my three children grow into fine young adults. Its been a good ride.