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Everyone Is Wagging AboutRover, Get Off Her Leg!
An upbeat, practical guide to teaching good canine manners, Rover, Get Off Her Leg! is also a hilarious field guide to dog misdeeds that range from the annoying and embarrassing to the utterly mortifying. Fortunately for dog owners everywhere, author Darlene Arden speaks to the unspeakable with great good humor and practical wisdom. Highly recommended!
Susan Conant
author of Gaits of Heaven, Scratch the Surface
Humor is good, accuracy is essentialand Darlene Arden provides both, as she answers questions were so often too embarrassed to ask, which assuredly gives this a leg up on other books. And I can honestly say among the countless books on dogs Ive read, this is the only one with a chapter called, Sex and the Dog Owner. Just between us, I learned a little myself.
Steve Dale
www.stevedalepetworld.com
ALWAYS FOR MY MOTHER
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I wouldnt have had the opportunity to write this rather unique behavior book had it not been for Michele Matrisciani, editorial director at Health Communications, Inc. She entrusted me with this project, not just for my expertise as a dog writer and a behavior consultant but because she knew it would require a warped sense of humor to reach the dog owners who are convinced they are alone in their attempt to cope with various dog behaviors. She was barking up the right tree.
I want to thank my editor, Allison Janse, and the team at HCI.
Im grateful to those who shared their stories, no matter how embarrassing (most of the names in this book were changed to protect the guilty), so that the readers might understand that they are not alone. Its a wonderful thing when you can laugh at your problems and understand that there is help available, that the situation isnt hopeless, and that others have been where you are and have survived.
Im thankful to every dog who has walked into my life, whether mine or someone elses. Each has taught me something. Ive learned from them and loved them all.
Last, but never least, I want to thank my chosen family, especially my chosen sisters from around the United States and around the world. You have always been supportive, and I am both very lucky and very thankful to have such a special group of women in my life.
INTRODUCTION
As a certified animal behavior consultant, Ive heard all the dog-related horror stories:
When I walk my dog, he practically pulls my arm out of the socket if he sees another dog. How can I get him to walk nicely... or at least keep him from dragging me down the street?
My dog seems to have selective hearing; he will tear through the house when he hears me open a bag of chips but wont budge when I call him to come.
I dont want to have dinner parties anymore because my dog is always being a pest under the table. I dont blame my friends for wanting to avoid her pleading eyes. Please help me get my human social life back!
For years, owners of dogs of every temperament and breed have tracked me down to help resolve these kinds of problems. Believe me, as someone who has spent nearly my entire life with dogspersonally, professionally, and as a doggie mom myselfI understand their frustration. The day you bring your new puppy or dog home, you find you need some help, just like clueless parents who buy What to Expect When Youre Expecting. Just like kids, dogs come with their own set of behaviors and preferences. Once you start talking about your dog with other owners, youre going to find out how much you have in common. Most of us have slept in uncomfortable positions so the dog has enough room to sleep on the bed, or weve fallen asleep to the snoring of a dog curled up on the pillow next to us. Having a dog should be fun, and it can be. But theres no such thing as an instant companion, and theres no simple recipe: just add water and stir.
I understand the potential pitfalls. You want to know what to do when your dog barks all day and your neighbors are sending you nasty notes or dirty looks. Or what to do if your dog gets expelled from doggie daycare for growling at another four-legged kid. To quote a former U.S. president, I feel your pain. I cant go door to door, though, which is why Ive written this book.
The adorable, mischievous puppy who has you at your wits end can become the dog of your dreams with a little time, patience, and love. This book can help guide you through the challenging times and, with any luck, make you laugh as you realize that others have gone through the same thing... or worse.
Dogs do all sorts of things that we, as humans, dont find acceptable, especially in public, like humping, peeing in the wrong places, and stealing food. Your dog isnt doing any of this to spite you. Really, he isnt. He just needs training in the basics of canine comportment to live peaceably in the world of humans. Consider this your pocket guide to an (almost) perfectly politically correct pet.
Will he still embarrass you from time to time? Sure! Stuff happens. To make you feel a little better about your own parenting ability, Ive included stories from other dog owners about their embarrassing moments and their dogs over-the-top behaviors. In nearly all cases, Ive changed the names to protect the guilty, but the stories are true.
Throughout the book, youll also notice Top 10 icons.
These Top 10 most annoying behaviors are the most frequent complaints Ive heard time and time again from frazzled dog owners and professionals who work with dogs. While some of them are relatively harmless behaviors, albeit embarrassing, others are more serious offenses. If you can solve even half of these issues, youll be on your way to a great life with your furry friendand you might even keep some of your human friends while you and your dog are at it.
Nearly everything can be fixed, and every relationship can be better and more fun, even the best of them.
PART 1
BASIC TRAINING 101
DOGS ARE AMAZING CREATURES AND wonderful friends. We know that theyre living, breathing, sentient beings, but sometimes people forget that they view the world differently than the way we do. This is because, for them, it is a little different.
In all the years Ive owned dogs, been around other peoples dogs, and helped owners with behavior problems, Ive learned that behavior problems are not always what they seem to be. For example, a dog who refuses to go outside one day isnt being obstinate just to aggravate his owner. Its up to the owner to think of what occurred the previous day that may have frightened the dog, causing him to feel more secure indoors. It may not have meant anything to the owner that the wind picked up a tarp as the dog walked past it, but to the dog, it was a frightening experience that hed just as soon not repeat.
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