Joi-Marie McKenzie - The Engagement Game: Why I Said I Dont to Marriage and I Do to Me

Buckle up. Reading The Engagement Game is like having brunch with your best friend, where she tells you all the crazy highs (hello, international travel and swoon-worthy dates) and excruciating lows (did he really just say that?) on her quest to marry a man she loves. Joi-Maries transparency and incredible writing is a breath of fresh air in todays Wild West dating scene. Every woman should read this universal story of finding yourself in the journey to Mrs. Life.

Charreah K. Jackson, Essence senior relationships editor and author of Boss Bride

Joi-Marie McKenzies debut memoir The Engagement Game is friggin hilarious and a sometimes cringe-inducing time machine, shooting me back to my late 20s and those hours-long brunches spent dissecting what he meant by some text, G-chat, or Facebook poke (remember Facebook pokes?). Itll be a fun and eye-opening trip down memory lane for some and just last week for others. McKenzie expertly captures not just the heartache of sticking it out with Mr. Right Now but that triumphant Aha! moment when you decide to follow your gut and get to the joy on the other side.

Helena Andrews, Washington Post columnist and author of Bitch Is the New Black

Rarely do I see myself reflected in books: A young Black career-woman trying to navigate life and find The One at the same time! Joi-Marie McKenzie hilariously captures that adventure in this relatable, laugh-out-loud funny book.

Arianna Davis, digital director, OprahMag.com

The Engagement Game is a compelling tale capturing Joi-Maries experience as a savvy, successful young woman looking to find and keep love. Ultimately, this journey provides her with an important life lesson on how to remain true to self while seeking marriage. Through her humorous and witty writing, Joi-Marie delivers an engaging read that celebrates independence and freedom among women everywhere.

Lilly Workneh, editor-in-chief of Blavity and Shadow & Act

The Engagement Game is not only an engaging read but courageous. So many women have been told they need a man, marriage, or motherhood to be happy. Joi-Marie McKenzie reminds us that what women really need is the freedom to define happiness on our own terms.

Keli Goff, columnist, The Daily Beast

Bubbly. Fun. But always real, Joi-Marie McKenzies The Engagement Game is a memoir that reads like your favorite weekend escapist novel. As you dive in, the pages transport you from the humdrums of life to the fast-paced world of entertainment journalism; the New York and Washington, DC, dating scenes; and that dogged pursuit of a ring so many women fall into until they learn to invest in ones self over a mans affections. Its a tale of the 20s (and 30s and for some, even their 40s) thats relatable and relevant to every woman whos pursued a career while looking for an ending straight out of the movie Mahogany.

Danielle Belton, managing editor of The Root

Women like Joi-Marie seem like they have it all. But in this candid memoir, she peels back the layers of the glamorous life to reveal the anxiety and striving, the dodgy guys and the workplace absurdities. Still, her buoyant sense of humor makes it fun to accompany her on this journey through young adulthood.

Amy Argetsinger, Washington Post

The Engagement Game is a must-read for our time. It is a great tome for young women who need time to first discover themselves before they say yes to discovering someone else in marriage.

Sophia A. Nelson, award-winning author of The Woman Code: 20 Powerful Keys to Unlock Your Life.

The Engagement Game makes one thing clear (in alternately hilarious and heartbreaking terms): if the chase for Mr. Right and an Instagram-perfect life challenges a woman like Joi-Marie McKenzie, the rest of us mere mortals should see just how silly it is. McKenzie speaks clearly to those of us whove been made to feel that a MRS title (and a properly large rock on our ring finger) means more than our professional accomplishments, our contributions to the community and even, perhaps, our happiness.

Jamilah Lemieux

A hilarious and unique take on dating that also reveals how sisterhood, daughterhood, friendship, and Spirit can lead to a deeper relationship with self and unbounded self-love.

Chanel Craft Tanner, Crunk Feminist Collective; assistant director, Center for Women at Emory University

Although Im not single, I dont think you have to be to enjoy Joi-Maries new book The Engagement Game.

Jennifer Holmes, girlybookclub.com

Joi-Marie McKenzies debut effort is glamorous, well-paced, and just plain fun. But the attribute that most endears this page-turner to me is its honesty.

Keyaira N. Boone, The C Letter

In an age where looking for love means fielding meager advances made over DM and swiping aimlessly through apps and online profiles, Joi-Marie McKenzies The Engagement Game offers a brutally, beautifully honest take on what it really means to be a smart, sexy, single-and-seeking twentysomething, navigating todays volatile dating minefield in a drivenat times even desperatesearch for her fairy-tale ending.

Janine Rubenstein, staff editor, People magazine

Copyright 2017 by Joi-Marie McKenzie

Cover design by JuLee Brand

Cover copyright 2017 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

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Originally printed in hardcover and ebook in March 2017

First trade paperback edition: March 2019

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2016023224

ISBNs: 978-1-4555-9450-4 (trade paperback), 978-1-4555-9449-8 (ebook)

E3-20190513-JV-PC-DPU

For all the women who were ever
told they werent the marrying kind

The people, places, and events in this work have been re-created based on my memory, diary entries, e-mails, and text messages. Details, including physical characteristics, cities, occupations, and other identifiable traits have been changed in an effort to fiercely protect the privacy of my loved ones. Oh! And by no means is this a how-to book. Sorry, ladies.

Y oure going to be my wife one day, you know that? Adam asked.

A spark that felt like lightning ran down my back.

Was this a proposal?

I breathed in, out, in, out, in, out, trying to calm myself down just in case it was a proposal. Shit! What if he was proposing? No, he didnt seem nervous or fidgety. Arent guys usually nervous when they propose? It wasnt a proposal. He wasnt down on one kneebut he was slouched over. I kept my eyes wide, in case his hands went to his pockets.