Christopher Fowler - Bryant & May on the Loose. A peculiar crimes unit mystery

ALSO BY CHRISTOPHER FOWLER

Full Dark House
The Water Room
Seventy-Seven Clocks
Ten Second Staircase
White Corridor
The Victoria Vanishes

The Old Warehouse
231 Caledonian Road
London N1 9RC

THIS BUILDING IS NOW OCCUPIED BY THE
PECULIAR CRIMES UNIT UNTIL FURTHER
NOTIFICATION FROM THE HOME OFFICE

STAFF ROSTER: MONDAY
Raymond Land, Acting Temporary Unit Chief
Arthur Bryant, Senior Detective
John May, Senior Detective
Janice Longbright, Detective Sergeant
Dan Banbury, Crime Scene Manager/InfoTech
Jack Renfield, Desk Sergeant
Meera Mangeshkar, Detective Constable
Colin Bimsley, Detective Constable
Giles Kershaw, Forensic Pathology
Crippen, staff cat

Clipping from the Police Review:
Kings Cross Executioner kills PC, escapes custody

A hired killer who left his beheaded victims on building sites in the Kings Cross area would have fatally undermined public confidence in the multimillion-pound project to reinvigorate the former red-light area if he had not been identified, said an official Home Office report last week.

However, the report went on to castigate the unit bosses for failing to provide adequate security checks at its temporary headquarters, an oversight which resulted in the escape of the suspect.

The investigation had been conducted by Londons Peculiar Crimes Unit, a little-known police division created in 1940 to handle serious crimes that could be considered a threat to public order and confidence. As a secret wartime department, the PCU was allowed to develop many innovative (and questionable) investigative techniques. In the 1950s the unit fell under the jurisdiction of the Metro politan Police. Later, it was absorbed into the British Military Intelligence department MI7 to handle cases involving domestic and foreign propaganda. In the last few months, the PCU has found itself increasingly mired in controversy after being placed under Home Office jurisdiction, and the principles upon which it was founded have been called into question.

Ministers accused the management team of failing to follow accepted procedural guidelines. But the PCUs senior detectives, Arthur Bryant and John May, remained determined to operate on the London streets using investigation techniques that had been refused approval by present-day government officials. As a result, they successfully brought in a suspect known only as Mr Fox, a hired killer who admitted carrying out the Kings Cross murders for financial gain.

However, what should have been a cause for celebration turned to tragedy after Mr Fox succeeded in breaking out of the units holding cell and stabbing the officer on duty to death. PC Liberty DuCaine lost his life after being attacked by the accused, who then escaped police custody. To date, the killer has not been recaptured.

Despite their exoneration by an independent judicial body, the PCUs future is looking less secure than ever before in its contentious history.

From the Desk of Raymond Land:

Is it necessary to remind staff NOT to provide the press with information about the escape of the so-called Kings Cross Executioner? We dont want to give tabloid hacks a reason to go through our dustbins for the next six months. DONT SPEAK TO ANYONE. If youre in any doubt, talk to me first.

A word of warning about PC Liberty DuCaines funeral; his family dont want any of you lot going anywhere near them this morning. They already had the mayor creeping round for a photo op, and sent him away with a flea in his ear. Send flowers if you want, but stay away from the service.

Further, the resignation of our Liaison Officer, April May, from the Unit is effective immediately, for health reasons. Following the recurrence of her agoraphobia, April is planning to spend some time with her uncle in Toronto. Im sure you all join me in wishing her well for the future. I thought we should have a whip-round and collect enough money to get her something nice. By the way, when April said shed like a gift voucher for a couple of hours in a flotation tank she was, in fact, joking.

As of this morning we now have fully functional computers and phones. You have John May to thank for this. I dont know how he did it. No-one tells me anything.

Older members of the PCU will recall a pair of utterly useless workmen who sat in our former offices at Mornington Crescent for months, brewing endless pots of tea instead of getting on with their work. Youll be thrilled to know that another pair of layabouts, two Turkish gentlemen both called Dave, will be arriving today to restore the electrics, woodwork and plumbing, while no doubt offering unsought-for advice on the policing of the capital. Dont complain; their estimate for the repair came in a lot lower than anyone elses. I daresay well find out why in due course.

By the way, theres a hole in the floor in Mr Bryants office. Dont go near it.

If anyone sees Crippen can you please butter his paws before letting him out? We dont want him getting lost in this neighbourhood. Hes put on a bit of weight lately, and there are a couple of dodgy kebab shops on the Caledonian Road that look like they could use the meat.

CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: THE DESK OF LESLIE FARADAY
HOME OFFICE SENIOR POLICE LIAISON

TO: RAYMOND LAND
ACTING TEMPORARY HEAD
PECULIAR CRIMES UNIT

Dear Raymond,

With regard to your apprehension of the hired assassin operating in the Kings Cross area, this so-called Kings Cross Executioner chap, thank you for acting so quickly on the matter, although its a pity he subsequently managed to give you the slip. I had a bit of trouble opening your report because, frankly, computers have never been my strong point, but the new girl in our office seems to understand these things and printed out a copy for me.

Following the judicial review we decided to scrap the idea of holding a press conference, but were speaking to our key contacts today, so well have some idea of the headlines likely to run in tomorrows papers. Always talk to the press, I say, even when youve got nothing to tell them. Were hoping that a bit of publicity might flush him out. Im trying to discourage sensational references to his nickname, without much luck, Im sorry to say, but when a little boy finds a human head while fishing for eels in a canal, you can expect the press to react strongly.

I have passed your conclusions on to my superior and other concerned department heads, and will return with their reactions in due course. I also have to acknowledge the receipt of an additional report on this case from one of your senior detectives, Arthur Bryant, although I must admit I was only able to read portions of this document as Bryants handwriting was extremely small and barely legible, and pages 23 through 31 had some kind of curry sauce spilled over them. Furthermore his account is opinionated and anecdotal in the extreme, and on several occasions, positively offensive. Could you have a word with him about this?

Naturally we are all sorry to hear about what happened. It is always with great sadness that one hears of a police officers demise in the course of his duty, especially in this case, when the officer in question was so highly regarded, and with such a bright future ahead of him.

Although the tribunal was reasonably satisfied that no member of the Peculiar Crimes Unit could be held responsible for the unforeseen events occurring on your premises, we do not feel that full autonomy can be returned to the unit until a series of regulatory safeguards have been put in place to ensure that the impossibility of such an incident