Jacqueline Carey - Sex in Seattle: An Essay on Greys Anatomy

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2007 by Jacqueline Carey

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emember Dr. Ruth?

Back in the 1980s, this tiny woman with a thick German accent broke new ground, first in radio and then in television programming, giving candid sex advice. My most vivid memory... well, my most vivid memory is hearing her read a viewers letter and exclaim, Tree people? Whats all this about sex with tree people? After my wild mental image of human limbs and leafy branches intertwining in carnal-sylvan bliss, trunks and torsos heaving, hair and foliage tossing, finally subsided, I realized Dr. Ruth was responding to a question about a mnage trois. For younger readers, thats what we used to call threesomes (or treesomes, if you have a thick German accent) back in the day when it wasnt practically a rite of passage. Now you can flip on MTVs The Real World and watch random trios of drunken young people fall into bed together without a second thought, groping and giggling. But in days of yore, when hair was big and frizzy, and acid-washed jeans and legwarmers seemed like a good idea, the threesome still held an air of mystery and was spoken of in hushed French whispers.

Anyway, I digress.

My second most vivid memory is of reading a review of Dr. Ruths television show, which marveled over one simple fact: This little old lady (okay, she was just pushing sixty, but that was old to me at the time) with the funny accent was doing something radical. She was talking about sex as though it were a perfectly normal act performed with considerable frequency by consenting adults. Well, hallelujah!

I think Dr. Ruth Westheimer would approve of Greys Anatomy. Sure, its hardly the first TV show of its kind. Greys hails from a long and venerable line of medical soap operas, but I would argue that its uniqueand refreshingly frankin its approach to human sexuality, and in particular to female sexuality. Sure, Sex and the City went there first, but it aired on HBO. This is primetime network television.

The women of Seattle Grace get laid. A lot. Without apologies.

And sometimes its great, sometimes its good, sometimes its mediocre, and sometimes its downright horrible. In two seasons, Greys Anatomy has covered a wider spectrum of the human sexual experience than most regular network shows cover over their entire run.

Im not talking about the Kinsey Scale; Greys main characters thus far seem firmly rooted in heterosexual territory. And Im not talking about the spectrum ranging from plain vanilla, missionary-style sex to whatever Chunky Monkey mango nutmeg rum raisin moniker you want to hang on full-bore, Honey, climb into the sling and Ill get the ball-gag and the feather tickler sex. No, what Greys has done so well is explore the human experience of sex; the physical, psychological, and emotional ramifications of it. How it affects marriages, friendships, and love affairs. Why we do it. Why we dont do it. Why sometimes we do it and wish we hadnt.

The ill-advised hook-up between Meredith and George in the second season is an outstanding example of the latter. He was besotted with her; she was an emotional wreck, still dealing with the fall-out of being dumped by McDreamy and the more recent trauma of seeing her absent father for the first time in twenty years. George offered up his adoration as balm, Meredith reached for him for comfort... which in Merediths world means sex. The episode faded to black as millions of viewers groaned.

Why? Because it wasnt Hairy Back Guy or Tattooed Guy or Inappropriate Facial Hair Guy, or any one of the disposable, nameless one-night-stands with whom Meredith has consoled herself. It was George, with his puppy-dog eyes and his desperate crush on Meredith. He adored her; she was fond of him. There were feelings involved. And you knew, you just knew, it was going to end badly.

The following episode made it clear that what happened was a mistake, but it did a great job of drawing out the suspense until revealing the dire deed itself in a flashback. It was awful. It was beyond awful. Mid-coitus, Meredith burst into tears and asked George, Youre almost done, right?

And millions of viewers cringed.

These things happen in the real world. As Greys creator Shonda Rhimes says in the official Greys Anatomy FAQ, In movies and most TV shows, when two friends sleep together, its a magical start to a wonderful relationship. In life, its quite often a hideous beginning to a very long awkward nightmare. People make terrible choices in intimacy and realize them at the most inopportune times. We hurt one another involuntarily with reactions we cant hide and feelings we cant deny.

But thats only one example. Theres all kinds of sex on Greysit is, after all, a soap opera. Theres casual sex, theres gotta-have-you sex, theres guilty sex, theres feed-the-beast sex, theres desperate-for-attention sex, theres end-of-the-world sex, theres even boring sex. The nature of the sex is in constant flux as relationships evolve and change.

That was evident from the get-go. The series announced its presence by introducing us to a heroine hurriedly attempting to banish her one-night stand so she could get to her internship on time. Thats ballsy writingbut Shonda Rhimes wasnt afraid of creating characters who reflected reality. In an interview for the Chicago Tribune, Rhimes says, Women can be flawed, nasty, strong, good. The definition of female is as broad as the definition of male.

Of course, as loyal viewers know, the one-night stand turned out to be The One: McDreamy himself, Derek Shepherd, head of neurosurgery at Seattle Grace. The relationship between Meredith and Derek is the lynch-pin of the series, and the sex between them progressed from tawdry to passionate to tender and romantic... and then back around to steamy and illicit in the finale of the second season.

Meanwhile, everyone around them was getting his or her freak on, with varying degrees of success. Cristina and Burke have a great physical and intellectual connection, but theyve got to get past the sex and surgery to figure out how to forge a genuine emotional partnership. Izzie and Alex perform a will-they, wont-they dance, interrupted by impotence, punctuated by extreme horniness (and the kind of ardent coupling that takes place when you might all get blown up by a bomb), derailed by Denny, the charming but doomed heart patient. And poor George is struggling to come to terms with the fact that while Meredith doesnt feel that way about him, he may well be someone elses McDreamy.

The Ghost of Sex Past haunts the show, too. Addisons infidelity and her attempts to save her marriage to Derek mirror Chief of Surgery Webbers affair with Merediths mother and his subsequent return to his wife. No one is blameless, but