Shannon Adamcik - The Guilty Innocent

Shannon Adamcik

The GuiltyInnocent

By Shannon Adamcik

Published byShannon Adamcik
Copyright2012 Shannon Adamcik

All rights reserved.

ISBN-10: 0-9882409-2-0

ISBN-13: 978-0-9882409-2-6

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For Lacey

Who said, Do something!

And For Sean and Jamie

Who let me

There are close to three thousand childrenin the United States who are sentenced to die in prison. Some weresentenced when they were just thirteen years old. They are labeledThe Worst of the Worst by the criminal justice system, but manyare first time offenders. One quarter of these children did notcommit murder or intend to commit murder. But due to their age, andthe sentence, they will serve the longest prison terms in Americanhistory.

The United States is the only country in theworld that sentences children to Life Without Parole.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface

PART ONE: CASSIE

PART TWO: BEFORE

PART THREE: AFTER

PART FOUR: THE EVIDENCE

PART FIVE: THE VIDEOTAPE

PART SIX: THE TRIALS

Preface

I decided to write this book while I wassitting in the office of attorney Ken Lyons. As the mother of asixteen-year-old boy sentenced to Life Without Parole for themurder of a friend and classmate, my story is not an easy one totell. Or, as was perfectly illustrated to me in Mr. Lyons office,to understand.

Mr. Lyons was one of the attorneys myhusband, Sean, and I consulted with in the aftermath of our sonsarrest, trial and conviction. At the time we were being sued by thevictims family.

After one particular consultation, Mr. Lyonsannounced that there was something he needed to tell us. It mightnot be my place, he said, but I need to remind you both, you havetwo other children besides Torey. He went on to tell us that thebest thing we could do was to let our now 17-year-old son go, andconcentrate on our two remaining children, Jamie who was 15, andLacey who was 19. Get them into counseling, give them all of thelove and attention we could, and try to get them through thisintact, because clearly they were going to have problems. He saidthat Toreys destiny was out of our hands, and the sooner werealized that the better off wed all be, including Torey, who nowhad to make his own way.

For a second it sounded reasonable. Wordsare like that. Mr. Lyons meant well. He spoke with good intentions,but he did not understand. What he said was bull----.

Sean and I have three children. We love eachand every one of them, and we are going to do every single thing inour power to get all three of our children through this intact. Noones getting left behind. That is not an option.

This was not the first time wed heardthat particular speech. Almost anyone who feels close enough totalk about the subject with us has mentioned it to us at one timeor another. Mr. Lyons did a good job. He was honest and persuasiveand presented his case to us as a skilled attorney would. I knewright then that I was going to write a book. I wantedpeople to understand.

Any parent willing to offer such a solutionas a viable option needs to stop and consider which child they haveat home they could turn lose in an emergency. It simply does notwork that way. Every parent facing the loss of one of theirchildren is going to fight for all of their children. It justdoesnt always appear that way from the outside looking in. And thekindest and best support you could offer is to make it easier forthem, not to let go, but to hang on.

When we hear about the murder of achild, we can barely imagine the despair and horror that thechilds parents must be feeling. For a brief moment we may think,What if this was my child?but we cannot fully imagine how we would go on if it were. It issomething that many parents have spent seconds contemplating, butmost will never have to live through.

I had imagined it. I was one of thoseparents who always feared something happening to one of mychildren, anything from kidnapping to car accidents. But I neveronce considered the position that I now live in: mother ofthe accused.

My feelings of loss and devastationare real. They are valid. And in fact they are surprisingly similarto what I would have felt had Torey been killed.Because that is exactly what it feels like. The pain that I feelcan only be felt by a parent who has lost a child. There is simplynothing else to compare it to.

Our love for our children is a love with nobounds, an ocean with no end, and when disaster strikes, a painthat never goes away. Everyone has been through loss. We all knowgrief. I have lost both of my parents, and a brother. I know aboutloss and grief. This is very different.

I do not know the pain of losing a child todisease, of watching an innocent baby suffer, of horribleaccidents, or suicide, or war, or any number of other tragedies.Those situations are not mine. But I know my pain. I can tell youeverything about it. It has to do with my child. A child who atsixteen-years-old was arrested for a murder he did not commit andsentenced to life without parole.

How do you survive watching as your baby,the child in your arms, is taken from you, denied any form of humansympathy or consideration? Locked up and told there is no hope ofredemption, value, or ever again belonging to the human race? Howcan I survive that and why would I want to?

My pain is about my child.

In the victim impact statements we were toldthere was only one victim. I say that is not true. We were allvictims. My son is innocent. He did not kill anyone; he did notintend to kill anyone. Would I be less of a victim if he wereguilty? I dont think so. No parent raises a child to be amurderer. No parent imagines their child is capable of suchviolence.

Our son Torey was a wonderful child,full of laughter, a gift to our home and our lives. And his newfriend Brian seemed okay too. The truth is, on the surface, neitherboy should have ever been involved in something like this. BothTorey and Brian came from loving homes. They both had a religiousupbringing. They both did well in school. Neither boy was involvedin drugs or alcohol. To see the differencesthe signsin the boysyou would have had to be willing to peel the onionto look beneaththe surfacebecause one of the boys, despite everything, had aserious, serious problem. And there were people whoknew about it, or should have.

Cassie, a sixteen-year-old girl, wasmurdered. That is a tragedy that most people will never experience.My son is gone too, and I will spend the rest of my life watchinghim die a slow and painful death in prison because of Brian Draper.Brian killed Cassie quickly; he is killing Torey slowly. I am notsure which is worse.

We are able to visit our son in prison. Myother son, my daughter, my husband and I. We go as often as we can.When Torey smiles, and holds his head up, I thank God that he iswith us. But when Torey hangs his head and shows his hopelessness,his despair, I do not know how we can get him through the next ten,twenty, forty years and why? What kind of a life is this?

One night I was home alone when therewas a knock at the door. I never answer unless I know who is there,so I looked out the window. Parked in front of the house was whatlooked like an undercover police car and my legs gave way. I couldnot move and I could not get up to open the door. I lay shaking onthe floor thinking they were there to tell me that Torey wasgone . Thathe d been killed. It tookseveral minutes before I could sit up, and by then whoever was atthe door was gone. I went to the phone and I called the prison. Iwas told that Torey was fine.