Anon - I Am the Secret Footballer

Paul Johnson, Deputy Editor, Guardian News and Media

I am the Secret Footballer is both a declaration and a device. Since he wrote his first column for the Guardian two and a half years ago, there has been a sustained effort to unmask the Secret Footballer. Jigsaw identification has been attempted through forensic analysis of his pieces using names, games, clubs and matches. Fans forums debate in a knowledgeable and thoughtful way. There is a dedicated website at whoisthesecretfootballer.co.uk. Dozens of players have been identifi ed as him. According to those who think they have cracked a code, he plays for Blackburn, Sunderland, Fulham, Bolton, Wolves, Burnley, Newcastle, Leicester, Liverpool, West Ham, Everton, Spurs, Birmingham or Celtic. And a few others.

On his Wikipedia page the entry says he is English and has turned out for at least two Premier League clubs. The argument and search for clues are fun and understandable and it may be that some day he will decide to reveal himself as the author. But to write as he does, in such detail about the game and the people in it, would be impossible out in the open. His club(s) wouldnt like it, and would probably cite breach of contract. His agent wouldnt like it and his manager(s) would be somewhere on the other side of incandescent.

He tells us what it is like to score against Manchester United; about John Terry and his own reaction to being whacked in the face with an elbow: I kicked him as hard as I could across the back of the legs and he crumpled to the ground. He describes vividly the impact on life of a 1.4m-a-year contract (along with a 19,000-a-month mortgage) and how, in his words, it opens up a host of recreational possibilities. The sharks, the brown envelopes, the deals, the convoluted bonuses; malicious managers and understanding managers; supportive team-mates and those tortured and fearful of the end; the media, the women and the drink are all here, in a range that goes from the amusing to the terrifying.

But the Secret Footballer is different, and those differences that mark him out started early on in life. He describes his working-class background, playing in hand-me-down trainers. He came out of a loving and supportive family with his father encouraging him to read classics Shakespeare, Dickens, Joyce etc. He didnt get into football by the usual route and has struggled with the paradox of living a dream playing football but having to deal with the aggravations and frustrations off the pitch. The same tension shows with his continued determination not to leave his roots behind while developing a taste for fine wine, art and luxurious holidays. Those pressures built up to the point where he became insecure, reclusive and volatile; seeking help and put on medication after finding himself coming home from training and sitting in the same chair until it was time for bed. All of it is told as the reality of his life.

Some years ago, reading the Financial Times at weekends, the Secret Footballer enjoyed a column written anonymously by an estate agent that opened up a world many buyers and sellers have extensive experience of, but that, to those in the know, is very different: far more complex, potentially dangerous and duplicitous. The comparisons with football were only too obvious. Football, a game watched by millions, is digested and dissected in fine detail in print, on the radio, on TV and on the web. Managers and players give interviews, ex-pros write columns. Tactics, personalities, money and motives are debated endlessly. And yet what do we really understand? The Secret Footballers answer to that is simple: not that much.

So he had the idea for a column. We (Ian Prior, the Guardians sports editor and I) were approached and thought it had amazing potential. But we were worried: would he write honestly, what would he hold back, could he sustain themes, could he write at all? All those thoughts disappeared the moment the first piece arrived and he has got better and better ever since. This book, which originally saw the light of day in 2012, was his idea. It is all his own words, his own experiences , his own thoughts, his own emotions. He is a remarkable man.

Paul Johnson

London, August 2013