Scott Douglas - Dispatches from a Public Librarian

Lost & Found
Toy cell phone
Anime DVD case (no disc)
Immigration papers
Photocopy of an income-tax statement
Child's wallet, including two Mickey Dollars fromDisneyland
Stuffed teddy bear
Floppy disc
Ink pen from CarCo.

Kids and Porn
The most popular website thisweek for kids 8-14 is the borderline-pornographic siteNewgrounds.com. Newgrounds features a splendid assortment ofinnocent kids games mixed together with adult-oriented games. It isfull of nudity, crude sexuality, drug references, violence, andswearing. One favorite, for girls surprisingly, is the dress-upBritney Spears game, which so happens to feature a Britney withoutany underwear on. The content of the site seems geared athigh-school-aged kids, but 95 percent of the kids that I caughtlooking at the site were still in elementary school. The libraryhas decided to ban Newgrounds, and library Internet filters preventkids from accessing it further. Curious about how they found thesite, I asked some of the kids; their responses varied, but by andlarge it was from web banners on non-adult websites that had eitherchat rooms or cheat codes for game systems (e.g., PS2, Xbox, andGame Cube).

Patron of the Week
Reflecting on who myfavorite patron is on any given week is difficultthere are somany. My favorite patron this week would have to be the one whotried to take my shoes. The patron was a mentally challenged manwho was visiting the library as part of his rehabilitation. He cameup to me while I was in the juvenile-fiction area and asked if Iwould be his friend. I politely nodded and said that I would be hisfriend. He then asked if he might have my shoes. I told him, asgently as possible, that I needed to keep them. He nodded, andasked if I was still his friend. I said yes, and he asked if hecould feel my shoes. Seeing no harm in this, I told him he couldfeel one, but he had to do it quickly. He nodded, bent down, andproceeded to lift up my foot and pull off my shoe. A littlepanicked, I told him that shoes had to stay on in the library. Heknew by my tone that he had done something he should not have. Hebegan saying he was sorry over and over again. I told him it wasokay. He asked if we could still be friends. I said yes and heleft. The next day he came into the library looking for me while Iwas taking a break. He asked the librarian at the reference desk ifthe priest was there, and then went on to describe the priest asme.

Book Drop
The strangest item found in thebook drop was the head of a blond plastic doll wrapped in pinktissue paper.

Patron of the Week

It always surprises people to know that patronsfrequently verbally, and sometimes physically, assault librarians.This week's memorable patron was the man who said he'd be waitingfor me after work. The man came in on a Saturday to use theInternet. He was middle-aged, tired, but seemingly friendly atfirst. I assigned him a computer on the other side of the library.Saturdays are usually slow and quiet at the library where I work,and usually I pass time by studying the palm of my hand fromdifferent angles. Things got a little loud, however, when the man Ihad assigned to the Internet began yelling into his cell phone (asa side note, if anyone has ever been asked to turn their cell phoneoff in the library, it is because many people, while normally quietin regular conversation, get quite loud when on the phone). Iapproached the man and I explained that it was library policy thatcell phones remain off in the library, and if he wanted to continuehis conversation, he'd have to use the phone outside. The man,clearly upset that I had so rudely interrupted his phone call,explained that he was talking with an important Sprint PCS customerservice agent regarding his most recent billing statement, and thathe needed the Internet to access his bill. Before I could respond,the man turned and went back to his phone conversation, explainingto the costumer service agent that he was sorry but an "idiotlibrarian" had tried to end his call. No librarian likes to havehis or her authority as librarian undermined. It's not a powerissue, rather a simple fact that policy has been disturbed and youdon't mess with library policy and get away with it. Nonetheless, Iwas in a good mood, so I walked around the man (so as to face him),and I asked him if he'd consider talking in a quiet-like fashionand finishing the call quickly. He said he'd finish the call whenhe was done talking and not a minute sooner. I turned off hiscomputer and asked him to leave; and that's when he stood (and alsowhen I realized he was quite tall) and screamed, "you want to seeloud" in a fashion that made everyone in the library turn aroundand look at the man a little frightened. I didn't think he meant itas a question, so I decided not to answer him, which only made himlouder as he asked, "Who do you think you are?" I knew at thispoint that the situation was quickly getting complicated, and tomake matters worse the man really did not have very good breath. Itold the man he was being disruptive and he needed to leave thelibrary. I knew he wasn't going to go out without further fuss, butI still hoped. I returned to the reference desk, and the man ofcourse followed. He asked for my name, and when I gave it, he saidhe was going to go see the mayor and have my job. He started toleave, but turned back around after only a few steps, and said hewould be waiting for me after work and I was going to be sorry.Finally, he left, at which point one of the library volunteers (ahigh school kid) approached me and said, "that was awesome, Ithought he was going to jack you up right in the library!" Laterthat day I received a call from another librarian at the city'smain library asking if I had had any problems that day with apatron. I said yes, and asked the librarian why. He said the manhad come into the main library and filed a complaint against me. Iasked if he mentioned coming back after I got off work to beat meup. He had forgotten to mention that. After work, I approached theparking lot with a bit of caution, but the man was not there, norhave I seen him since that Saturday.