Kevin Bleyer - Me the People: One Mans Selfless Quest to Rewrite the Constitution of the United States of America

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

T HOMAS P AINE, 1776

A S WITH ANY PROJECT of this magnitude, there are so many people to thank me. Sadly, these few pages cannot possibly begin to express how grateful they must be for my tireless efforts in making such an obvious contribution to their lives. However, under the assumption that a representative sampling is better than none at all, Ill do my best to give them a voice.

Mine.

Its the least I can do.

To those who believed in the merits of this project from the very beginningand you know who you areholding this book in your hands is, lets be honest, reward enough. Those sunshine patriots who doubted me, rest assured no one will ever know who you are. You will die alone.

First and foremost, to my editor, Andy Ward, who knew he was latching himself to a shooting starin choosing to work with me he proved early on that he is a man of impeccable taste. Luckily, so am I; not only is he the best editor a writer could ever ask for, and now a great friend to boot, but when he approved my second deadline extension, I finally realized, I can work with this guy. Point is, Im very glad I worked with this guy.

To our many collaborators and colleagues at Random Houseto Susan Kamil, Tom Perry, Gina Centrello, Benjamin Dreyer, Evan Camfield, and Emily DeHuff, and to London King, Liza Eliano, Avideh Bashirrad, and Erika Greber, and of course to Kaela MyersI dont have the words to thank you. Because you took them all away from me. And then you published them. Ill never forgive you for that.

To John McElroy and Kelly Gildea, for giving my voice the platform it deserves, and for having profound patience with my plosive ps.

To Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and to all my friends at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, with whom Ive had the great pleasure of laughing every day for the past seven yearswhat can I say? It remains an honor for you to work with me.

To the master Nelson Shanks, and of course to Leona Shanks, Dodge Thompson and David Pettibone, and to all the artists who welcomed me, their humble subject, into their worlds to witness their creative genius firsthand. You cant know how inspired I am to know that youre inspired by me. Its verytheres no other way to express itinspiring.

To Associate Justices Antonin Scalia and Stephen Breyer, for not kicking me out of their chambers. Your Honors, your clear judgment on the bench of the Supreme Court is eclipsed only by your lack of judgment in agreeing to talk to me about it.

To Bob Clark, the supervisory archivist at the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library in Hyde Park, New York, who effortlessly fielded all my impertinent questions about Rexford Guy Tugwell, who is a nutball. Thank you for overlooking my excessive antagonism and abundant use of curse words.

A few devoted patriots read early drafts of this manuscript; my only regret is that more didnt have the chance.

Leslie Farrell, Jon Prinsky, Peter Greenberg, Randy Cohen, Michael Breyer, Mark Goffman, Gideon Yago, Noralen Curl, Garrick Utley, Richard Rampell, Lisa Ellman, John Hlinko and Leigh Stringer, Ian Bremmer and Ann Shuman, Scott and Caroline Simon, and of course Gabby and Mark, who frequently came to my aid and rescue when I was having trouble realizing my full potential, helped me realize my full potential. Let that be your thanks.

To Charles Duhigg and A. J. Jacobs, who both recommended several significant changes to chapters I was already perfectly happy with, for chrissakes. Gentlemen, Ill never forget you. Remember the good times, before the ugliness.

And to Colleen Lawrie, who insisted that my caustic, bullying sense of humor was charming even when it was directed at her. Colleen, you were invaluable to this process. Perhaps someday youll be valuable to one. (Boom! Whos charming now?)

Of course, I cant wrap this up without mentioning my crackerjack team at William Morris Endeavora stipulation in the contract they negotiated, apparently. So, to Erin Malone and Suzanne Gluckbut only because you made methank you. Thanks as well to Cara Stein, Tom Wellington, Greg Hodes, Dan Shear, Christian Muirhead, Lisa Harrison, Theresa Brown, Jeff Lesh, Henry Reisch, and Ari Emanuel, who have always had my best interests at heart. I look forward to meeting you someday.

To my mother and father, there wouldnt be Me the People without me, the person, so I owe you, the parents, a sizable debt of gratitude. Since youre family, Im sure we can work out a mutually agreeable financial arrangement to get that monkey off my back as soon as possible.

I didnt hire an assistant, not because I didnt need one, but because I thought it would be unfair to all the assistants I didnt hire. So here, where I would have thanked, lets call her Vanessa, Ill instead use this space to point out to all the naysayers who said Id never write this book that, whaddya know, I wrote this book. Ill have Vanessa send you a copy.

And speaking of books: To the many historians, academics, and constitutional experts from whose numerous works of scholarship I have drawn so liberally and so skillfully hereinyou are the Jeffersons to my Madison. Together we have changed the entire world forever, and I say that without the slightest bit of exaggeration.

Finally, to the signers of my Declaration of Independence from the Constitution of the United States, we must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately. And hey, lets all hang out once in a while, okay?

To those who arent mentioned here, to the summer soldiers and the sunshine patriots who did shrink from the service of their country and this Constitution, please knowand be reassured that I knowjust how unlucky you are.

Look on this picture and weep over it! And if there yet remains one thoughtless wretch who believes it not, let him suffer it unlamented!

T HOMAS P AINE, 1776

K EVIN B LEYER, 2012

APPENDIX

Kevin Bleyer just rewrote the Constitution. What more do you want?