Allan Wood - Dont Let Us Win Tonight: An Oral History of the 2004 Boston Red Soxs Impossible Playoff Run

For every fan who kept the faith

Contents

Foreword by Kevin Millar

Dont let us win tonight!

It was the morning of Game 4. We got beat really bad in Game 3, 198. Were down 03, were down to the mighty Yankees. You cant win four in a row against the mighty Yankees. Here we are in this postseason battle, and that morning Dan Shaughnessy wrote an article that really offended me. He called us a pack of frauds. Now I dont get offended that often, but Im sitting there that morning, I was in a good mood, we got another baseball gameand Im thinking Frauds ? No one in that clubhouse was a fraud. Are you going to look at Bill Mueller and think of him as a fraud? Or Trot Nixon, or Johnny Damon, or Jason Varitek, or Pedro Martinez? Thats a big word to use. And I was pissed off and thinking, All right, thats it .

I got to the clubhouse early. I was fired up, having fun, making sure the boys arent hanging their heads and feeling sorry for themselves. Were down 03, but nothing has changed. The music was still going. And then Shaughnessy walked in, and thats when it started. I was yelling at him, calling him out because he was in our space. That led to the scene that everyone knows aboutout on the field before the game. MLB had me wired during batting practice. And I told him, Dont let us win tonight. If the Yankees are going to win this series, it better be tonight. Because if we win, then Pedro Martinez is pitching Game 5, Curt Schilling is coming back in Game 6, and in Game 7, anything can happen.

I was saying that to everyone. My plan was to get my teammates to drink the Kool-Aid. Because this wasnt crazy-ass Millar talking shit anymore. I wanted them to really believe it. If we could get by as a group, find a way to win that game, trust me, we had a big-time shot. But there has to be some foundation when youre saying something that crazy, right? Its like when you go into the managers office to argue why youre not in the lineup, you need a good reason why you should be playing. Hes going to say youre not in the lineup because of Xand you better have something else.

My thing was dont let us win tonight and if the guy says, What do you mean? Well, let me tell you why. Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling in Games 5 and 6are you going to take it? That was my reasoning. That was the method to my madness, just yelling that all day long, Dont let us win tonight. And I wasnt just saying it to say it. I truly believed it. Theres nothing fake about me other than my highlights.

There was never any panic because at that point, we had nothing to lose.

The 2004 Boston Red Sox were a talented ballclub, but we were also scrappy. And we were relentless. We were a bunch of guys that cared. In this generation, its hard to find a team that cares about each other, and this group of guys cared about each other. This group of guys played the game with the fear of losing their jobs. It was refreshing, because in this generation we dont have that. Theres so much money that goes in and out of hands, and so many guaranteed contracts, but this team, they played with a fear, almost like their hair was on fire. Even though some of us didnt have hair.

The rivalry with the Yankees was fun; but we respected them. We also knew they kind of wanted to be us, if that makes sense. We had facial hair, we were able to be who we were on the field, we didnt have to wear the same pullover. We were the kind of team that you looked over at and thought, Man, how fun would it be to play with them? And we showed that you could win a championship being who you are.

That team had so many different personalities. Trot Nixon was our Sunday Bible studies guy, but you get him on the field and hed eat your lunch. Pedro Martinez to Manny Ramirez to Mike Timlin. Bottom line, you have to tip your hat to Theo Epstein. Back in 2003, he went out and got a bunch of players that no one really wanted: myself, David Ortiz, and Bill Mueller. And then he brought in some other guys in 2004. Mark Bellhornwho the hell was that? And then we make the Nomar Garciaparra trade and you bring in Orlando Cabrera. Papi turns into Papi, Cabrera turns into the energy of the club halfway through the season, Bellhorn hits two of the biggest home runs the organization has ever seen. And Mueller wins a batting title! Everything Theo touched turned to gold.

There is something unique about Boston. When you take the field every day in Fenwayyou cant describe it until youre part of it. When youre a visiting player and you travel to Fenway, youre looking forward to that trip. There are certain cities that are awesome to play for, and Boston is one of them. Its not for somebody soft, but if you play the game hard and play the game right, youre loved. We broke through that miserable black cloud and now were folk heroes and weve got 3.7 million at the parade.

Once I was part of Boston, it was like home. With Red Sox Nation, once youre in, you cant get out. Ive always embraced it, and they are always going to be part of my life, no matter what. Hell, I came back in 2007 while still playing for the Orioles and threw out the first pitch of a playoff game! That was one of the quirky things that makes it so much fun. I joke around with Tom Werner and John Henry and Larry Lucchino like Im the fourth owner. I just dont have the finances they do.

I have a great piece of my heart with all of the teams I played with, but the Red Sox is who I am.

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to thank the following Red Sox players for granting interviews: Terry Adams, Mark Bellhorn, Ellis Burks, Orlando Cabrera, Alan Embree, Keith Foulke, Adam Hyzdu, Gabe Kapler, Curtis Leskanic, Derek Lowe, Dave McCarty, Ramiro Mendoza, Doug Mientkiewicz, Kevin Millar, Doug Mirabelli, Bill Mueller, Mike Myers, Trot Nixon, David Ortiz, Pokey Reese, Dave Roberts, Curt Schilling, Mike Timlin, Jason Varitek, Tim Wakefield, and Kevin Youkilis.

Thanks for interviews are also extended to Marilyn Bellhorn, Uri Berenguer, Billy Broadbent, Galen Carr, Joe Castiglione, Tom Catlin, Ben Cherington, Joe Cochrane, Gary Cormier, Chris Correnti, Chris Cundiff, Walt Day, Skip Dervishian, Christian Elias, Theo Epstein, Stan Grossfeld, Ron Jackson, Bill James, Dave Jauss, Lynn Jones, Dana LeVangie, Randy Marsh, Tom McLaughlin, Gary McNally, Dave Mellor, Brad Mills, William Morgan, Brian OHalloran, Euky Rojas, Jim Rowe, Bob Tewksbury, Tom Tippett, and Tom Werner.

Thank you to Dick Bresciani, John Carter, Kevin Gregg, Pam Kenn, Jon Shestakofsky, and Leah Tobin of the Boston Red Sox. Thanks, as well, to Terry W. Adams Sr., Louis Barricelli, Joe Bick, Frank Bokoff, Greg Bouris, Peter M. Collery, Katie Cabrera, Peter Case, Paula Dawson (Auburn University), Jim Dumm (Tara Hall), Vince Gennaro, David Holtzman, Tom Hufford, Joe Jareck, Jeff Lantz, Rachel Levitsky (MLBPAA), Cynthia Mendoza, Nick Moulter, Jim Prime, Jean Rhodes, Bob Schwartz (Boston Duck Tours), Chaz Scoggins, Jayson Stark, Richard Wang, and Jason Zillo.

Allan Wood would like to acknowledge the personal support of Laura Kaminker, Mark Jacobs, and Judy Ruben-Jacobs, and the readers and online community of The Joy of Sox .

Bill Nowlin would like to congratulate the 2007 and 2013 world champion Red Sox teams.

Finally, thanks to Tom Bast at Triumph Books.

The material for this book was obtained from interviews conducted by the authors, and from newspapers, books, and magazines. In some cases, quotes were edited for readability, or reorganized and combined to present the information in a coherent manner. Our aim was to present a complete overview of the 2004 postseason in the words of the players and others who were there. In every case, we remained faithful to the individuals own language and recollections, although it was sometimes necessary to make superficial alterations for stylistic reasons.