The Birdsville police posting is one of the most remote in Australia. It can be extremely lonely and incredibly busy at the same time. Nothing might happen for weeks or months, then problems come crawling out of the woodwork.
There arent many who can handle the job for long unless youre Senior Constable Neale McShane, who has single-handedly taken care of this beat the size of the UK for the past ten years. Recently retired from this hardship posting, Neale now has a stock of stories and adventures from his life and colourful times living with his family in Birdsville.
In recounting these tales to his good friend and bestselling author Evan McHugh, Neale delights us with yarns that could only come from the furthest corner of our country. Here are stories of desert dangers, dead bodies, droughts and floods, drinkers and dreamers and, of course the infamous Birdsville Races, when the towns population swells from 50 to 500.
So if Birdsville has remained just a little too far off the beaten track for you, sit back and let Birdsville come to you...
AFTERWORD
Inspector Trevor Kidd Interview with Evan McHugh
The day after Neales retirement, I spent some time with Inspector Trevor Kidd who, with Inspector Paul Biggin, has been Neales boss for all of his time in Birdsville. He believes he may even have been on the selection panel when Neale applied for the job of Birdsville cop. Inspector Kidd has firsthand knowledge of almost all of Neales exploits and achievements, and the occasional nervous moments along the way.
I first asked him about the challenges involved in having a police officer stationed in one of the most remote places in Australia.
Headquarters for the district are based in Mount Isa, 700 kilometres from Birdsville. So a lot of it is telephone stuff. It takes a whole day for Neale to drive up to see us or for us to go and to see him.
Neale is not the sort of guy who ever kicks up and gives you problems. If somethings happened hell say, This is whats happened and this is what Im going to do about it. This is what the plan is.
So he comes back with a solution which, as a manager, thats what you want. Hes always been like that. Hes dead calm. Ive never seen his pulse rate get up at all.
One of the things is, behind the scenes, Sandra was always around to take calls and organise stuff. She virtually runs that station when hes out gallivanting around the countryside. Shes the one that holds the fort. It cant be understated what an important role wives and partners play in remote policing. If we cant find Neale comms are terrible out here, even a satphone can be terrible shes the one who knows roughly where he is and whats going on.
Its always a concern from our point of view that when weve got to rescue someone, we lose our rescuers when they go out there. They did one rescue that was sixteen hours just getting out there. One way. It took them forever. It just went on and on.
What qualities does the police service look for in a police officer for a town like Birdsville?
Strictly speaking selection is based on merit. You look at the best applicant for the job. You look for someone you think will fit in with the community. Have they got a family? Its not only the policing side; theres the HR side, the domestic side. It can be very difficult for single people, for instance, in really remote areas. Traditionally, you dont get that many applicants for jobs in these remote places. We kicked a goal when we got Neale. Ive gotta admit we initially were going, Prosecutor? And he wants to come out to Birdsville? But you talk to em and you go, Yeah, that might work. Hes got the right look.
My vision of Neale, as I say, hell drive seven hours to come up here. Hell rock up into my office and hes got his uniform on but his shoes probably havent seen polish for God knows how long. And sometimes Im not sure how long since his shirts been ironed. But he just walks in and says gday and how you goin? Hes just a really laid-back, easygoing guy but hes absolutely reliable.
If he says hes going to go sort out a rescue or a crash at the airport usually its the landing gear, thankfully, but therell be instances like that hell give you the brief and no matter whats going on, Yeah, the planes come down, oh, undercarriage is gone. Yeah, yeah, no, theyre alright. Its just the way he goes. Very cool.
Hes got a really good relationship with Australias rescue authorities. Hes one of their key people down here. Imagine, youve been out on some of these journeys with him, Evan, but that relationship that hes got with organisations like that the South Australian Police and all the other organisations hes held in really high regard.
And hes the only person they can call on, isnt he?
Hes the only one. Bedouries an hour-and-a-half up the road and well try and use Bedourie to back up Birdsville and vice versa.
Do you ever consider the safety of the rescuers when the margin of their safety is so thin?
We do. Ultimately youre responsible. Thats why you need a good briefing from Neale and the people involved. What are the risks? Who have you got going with you? Youve got Don, youve got Padraic. Have you got comms? Well look at the options, too. Do we have access to a chopper? Whats the best way to get to these people? Invariably theyre out in the middle of nowhere. Even if theres an aircraft, youve still got to get a vehicle there.
Youve got to look at it but you cant go and lose your people or put them at unacceptable risk to go to some of these places. We have to take that into account. Thats why we also talk to the rescue authorities, AMSA and all those sorts of places. Alright, whats the best way, a Dornier or something, drop off a package to them to start with until things settle down? You may not be able to get there that day or that night because of the conditions. So well try and see if the aircraft can do a drop.
Thats one of the things. Those three bike riders. When they were hurt and they activated their EPIRB, thats one that sticks in my mind the whole time. Theres three people, theyve activated the EPIRB, theres rescue aircraft costing a fortune going out there. The big drive. The packages are dropped down and they walk over and look at them and go back to their camp. And wait for someone to drive up in a car to them. Didnt check for water, radio comms or anything.
Its always people doing silly things. People have gone off into the desert and generally speaking when theyre getting rescued theyve gone off with no water, no experience and Neale and the team from the community end up going out there and basically putting themselves at risk doing it.
There are people whove had no preparation, no concept of what theyre getting themselves into and thats one of the real frustrations with policing not only at the bottom end of our district, Birdsville, but we also go all the way up to Mornington Island and up there in the water, people in the Gulf of Carpentaria do the same thing. They dont prepare, they dont tell anybody, they wander off and do all these adventures and we end up having to rescue them.