Pat Simmons - If I Should Die Before I Wake

If I Should Die Before I Wake

A testimony

By Pat Simmons

N ow I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Its a simple eighteenth century childs prayer that has been revised by parents throughout the years. It rolls off our tongues without much thought. Then on the morning of July 1, 2005, it became more than idle words.

This is my familys eye witness account what happened to me:

About five in the morning, my husband, Kerry, got up to use the bathroom, then returned to bed. After peering at the clock on the nightstand, he sighed and relaxed. Thirty more minutes.

Not long after closing his eyes, my body shook the bed uncontrollably.

Pat, wake up. Kerry nudged me a few times.

Not alarmed, his initial thoughts were the witch was riding me again, a phrase sometimes

used to describe sleep paralysis where a person is asleep, but there is still a level of awareness.

Sleep experts say its a natural response to keep us from acting out our dreams. Attempts to move a limb is thwarted until a sudden jerk like a finger or toe wiggling releases the freeze on the body.

When I didnt respond or stop, he panicked.

Jared, Simi, he yelled down the hall to where their rooms were, never leaving my bedside.

I cant get your momma to wake up. Call 911. I think shes in a coma. Fear crept up his spine.

Simishort for Simonewas sixteen years old at the time. Racing into our bedroom, she cradled me in her arms while Kerry dressed and waited for the ambulance. No one remembered who placed the first 911 call.

I think shes having a seizure, Dad, Simi guessed at my condition. Maybe she had seen an episode of Greys Anatomy. I doubt if she learned about seizures in her high school classes. Plus, nobody in my family suffered with them, so she had no point of reference. Kerry wasnt buying her diagnosis as my eyes rolled back and I involuntarily released body fluids. To him, I was dying.

The commotion had startled my son who was then twenty years old. Jared can sleep through anything. His head had probably just dented a pillow an hour earlier after arriving home from

his overnight shift at UPS.

Jared hurried out of his room and approached the master bedroom, but refused to cross the threshold. He stared at his dad who was now holding me. But Jared didnt want to see me like that. He became delirious as he ran up and down the stairs aimlessly. Jared placed frantic calls to 911, shouting and demanding that they hurry up.

Somewhere between the paramedics getting to the house and Jared "losing it" during a time of crisis as Simi described it, she ran downstairs and grabbed our bottle of holy oil. Believing in the power of the Holy Ghost, she anointed my head and prayed. When the paramedics came into our bedroom, they asked my family my name and then called out to me. My eyes opened and closed again.

"Is she a diabetic?" one of the medical team asked Kerry.

"No."

They advised my husband that I had probably suffered a seizure. They called my name again and in a semi-conscious state, I responded enough for them to guide me to a waiting stretcher. I dont remember getting on the stretcher or being loaded inside the ambulance. I do recall seeing my neighbor across the street looking at our house. But thats all I remember.

In the ambulance, Jared rode upfront with the driver. Kerry and Simi trailed in one of our vehicles. My husband said the ambulance exceeded speeds of eighty-five miles per hour with its siren blaring. Kerry panicked when he couldn't keep up.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" Kerry called our son on his cell phone.

Jared must have checked with the paramedics. "Nothing, Dad. They're just trying to get Momma to the hospital."

In the back of the ambulance, I woke. Lying on my back, I looked up into the face of a woman who wasn't in my bedroom the night before. She was staring down at me and inserting a needle into my vein.

"Your family said you weren't responding. You're in an ambulance."

I blinked as my heart sunk. Huh? Did I die and didn't know? What was she talking about?

I'm fine, I thought. All these questions raced through my mind as I remembered the events of the previous night... sewing, washing, and packing clothes for a family trip. I recalled reading my Bible and praying before climbing into bed, then rubbing the peach fuzz on my husbands head just to irritate him. Yep, I was fine.

"I've never been in an ambulance before, I calmly informed the woman as I glanced around.

Ive got a hair appointment." It wasnt a joke. I didnt know the severity of what had happened.

"You won't be getting your hair done today," she said matter-of-factly.

Too tired to argue, I closed my eyes and dozed off.

When I woke again, the paramedics opened the back door of the ambulance and pulled me out. The first person I recognized was my son. His stricken expression was startling.

Frowning and clutching an overnight bag over his shoulder, Jareds first words were accusatory, "Momma, what you do that for?"

My poor twenty year old, who seemed to revert to a six year old, acted as if I had staged the event to scare everybody. I dont remember my response, but I think Jared had to accept that parents do die and they dont have to be old, gray, and in a wheel chair before they go.

Anguish draped my husbands tear streaked face as he came into the examination room. Panicking, I lifted my arms toward him.

Whats wrong? Not realizing that I was what was wrong. I had never seen my husband cry. The sight frightened me. I knew we loved each other, but I felt the depth of his fear. He thought he had lost me.

My mother arrived at the hospital. She was a force to be reckoned with in the examination room. Johnnie Cole put fear into the attending nurse. Momma let the woman know there would be no rules that she would follow. Pat is my daughter and if I want to come in here, I will. The nurses bedside manner improved dramatically.

Since I couldnt gauge time, I had no idea how long we had been waiting. Soon, a staff neurologist walked into my room. You didnt have a stroke, a blood clot, or an aneurysm, he advised. We, referring to his team of medical professionals, dont know what caused your seizure, but you can go home.

His last words prompted my full attention. Instantly, I was in my right mind. Whatever my husband was about to say, I beat him to it. I dont think so. If you dont know what caused me to have a seizure then, Im not going home.

I dont know if it was the look I gave him or the scowl on my mother/bodyguard nearby, but he caved in with a nod. I was admitted to the cardiology wing so they could monitor my heart.

After I got settled into my room, a nurse lifted the side rails on my hospital bed.

For your safety in case of another seizure, she explained.

It proved to be a smart move because later that night, I had another one in my hospital bed.

This time I remember the sensation of drooling. The next morning, I inquired to the nurse.

She verified it. How did you know?

I remember I was about to wipe my mouth and my head tilted to my left.

Then the seizure was on the right side of your brain, she stated matter-of-factly.