Splendour first published in 2000 by Oberon Books Ltd.
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Copyright Abi Morgan 2000, 2001, 2015
Abi Morgan is hereby identified as author of this play in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The author has asserted her moral rights.
All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before commencement of rehearsal to 42, First Floor, 8 Flitcroft Street, London WC2H 8DL. No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained, and no alterations may be made in the title or the text of the play without the authors prior written consent.
You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or binding or by any means (print, electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
PB ISBN: 9781783199136
E ISBN: 9781786826008
Cover design by AKA
Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY.
eBook conversion by Lapiz Digital Services, India.
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Evening; A palatial drawing room in the home of a dictator.
MICHELEINE, the wife is our hostess. GENEVIEVE, her best friend, has just entered, her coat on as if she has just come in from outside. She is covered in snow. KATHRYN, a photo-journalist, is standing, her back to us, staring at a large and incongruous abstract painting that hangs on the wall. Her interpretor, GILMA, a local woman has just broken a red Venetian vase. She is sweeping up the broken shards of glass off the floor.
MICHELEINE: Genevieve, your hair its
GENEVIEVE: Snow.
KATHRYN: dripping on her green dress.
GENEVIEVE: Im fine. The roads are terrible.
GILMA: Im sorry.
MICHELEINE: Its nothing, just a vase. (Introducing) Gilma.
GENEVIEVE: Gilma.
GILMA: Dont look me up and down like that.
GENEVIEVE: I had to take the back route. Is there anything to drink?
MICHELEINE: Yes. Were onto our third.
( GENEVIEVE walks across the room and pours herself a glass of vodka .)
I am sitting in the garden of friends, good friends a few hours before this moment.
GENEVIEVE: Jesus
MICHELEINE: we are having lunch with friends.
GENEVIEVE: ( I.e. drink .) Micha, where did you get this?
MICHELEINE: Lunch with Isabella.
KATHRYN: We are drinking chilli vodka.
GENEVIEVE: You saw her?
MICHELEINE: A few hours ago.
KATHRYN: Chilli vodka that is blindingly hot.
MICHELEINE: To my right is a pudgy man I always seem to get stuck with. He laughs too much at a joke my husband makes
(GILMA hands MICHELEINE back the dustpan and brush.)
GILMA: ( To MICHELEINE .) Im sorry.
MICHELEINE: Of course, its a very funny joke A nun is walking through a park.
GENEVIEVE: I thought Oolio would be
MICHELEINE: Coming. You know the office. Youre dripping on the carp
GENEVIEVE: (To MICHELEINE.) Micha, there are bells ringing all along the Southside.
(A beat. MICHELEINE takes her coat from her. GENEVIEVE clocks KATHRYN looking at the painting.)
MICHELEINE: A nun is walking through a park when a giant gorilla attacks her. He ravishes her in the bushes and then quickly bounds away. She is clearly distressed and returns to the convent where Mother Superior with some concern takes the young nun aside. My dear I cant help but notice, you seem very upset of late.
GENEVIEVE: The painting
(GENEVIEVE comes up to look at the painting with KATHRYN.)
I see youve noticed the painting.
KATHRYN: Sorry?
GENEVIEVE: The painting? You like it?
MICHELEINE: We commissioned it. Its not one of his best.
KATHRYN: Im sorry (To GILMA.) Gilma? Gilma? Im sorry. I dont understand. (To GENEVIEVE.) Im sorry. I dont understand.
MICHELEINE: (Introducing.) Kathryn.
KATHRYN: (To GENEVIEVE.) Kathryn.
MICHELEINE: (To GENEVIEVE.) Shes a very important journalist.
KATHRYN: Ive come to take a photograph.
MICHELEINE: This is my best friend, Genevieve. Our husbands have been, were friends for thirty
GENEVIEVE: five
MICHELEINE: years.
(GENEVIEVE and KATHRYN shake hands.)
KATHRYN: Gilma?
GILMA: The painting. Her husband
KATHRYN: painted it? Were discussing fucking painting.
MICHELEINE: (To KATHRYN.) Wont you have a little nut?
Moved by the Mother Superiors vigilant concern, the young nun confesses to the recent contretemps with the gorilla in the park. The Mother Superior bestows sympathy but as the weeks pass, a vow of silence is shrouded over the terrible event. But one day the Mother Superior unable to contain herself, betrays a certain curiosity, a certain girlish interest My dear, dont think me indiscreet, but may I ask Mid way through the punch-line, the pudgy man who is already laughing, suddenly shoots up and says Ssh did you hear that?
GILMA: (To GENEVIEVE.) The bells on the Southside. I heard them, this afternoon.
MICHELEINE: Faint, on a cold breeze. (Beat.) I heard nothing at all.
