Jesse Lamovsky - The Worst of Sports: Chumps, Cheats, and Chokers from the Games We Love

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To the Phamily, Kent and Kent-ifornia, old and new; to our agent, Byrd Leavell, who believed in us and in the project; to our editor, Mark Tavani, who kept things clean and cured me of my addiction to semicolons; to my family: Saul, whos a mentor and doesnt know it; Shaina, Eli, Jeremy, and Greg; and to my mom and dad. Much love all around.

An enterprise this vast and all-encompassing couldnt have been undertaken without proper sources. Acknowledgments go to a number of websites: Pro Football Reference, Baseball Reference, and Basketball Reference; Database Basketball; the College Football Data Warehouse; the Internet Hockey Database; Retrosheet; Drafthistory.com; and the NCAAs storehouse of records, which are available gratis in PDF form. A special nod goes out to YouTube, as well as the invaluable (whisper) Wikipedia.

I also couldnt have done it without my dead-tree sources: Total Baseball, The Official NFL Encyclopedia, and Jim Savages The Encyclopedia of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.

J.L.

Only a true sports fan knows the pain that walks hand in hand with passionate devotion to a team of men who know not of your existence. To get back in the saddle and reengage, season after season, when the overwhelming likelihood is resulting disappointment, is either insane or beautiful. Or both. This book is, first and foremost, for you.

Id like to thank my mother, father, and the Brothers Rosetti for their giddy encouragement throughout. My family supports one anothers endeavors to the point of absurdity, and I want to acknowledge my appreciation and wonderment of that rare and special thing. I also want to thank my extended family and friends, particularly the men of Greenridge, who share a fraternal bond that borders on the surreal. (All right, Swinnick and North Scranton, too, but just this time.)

This book wouldnt have been possible without, ahem, the Internet. Specific sources that were extremely helpful include baseball-reference.com, baseballlibrary.com, basketball-reference.com, pro-football-reference.com, The New York Times, Sports Illustrated, Time, NPR, and the Olympic Games section of The University of Pennsylvania Museums website. Andrew Postman and Larry Stones book The Ultimate Book of Sports Lists was a nice go-to, and Jill Geer, the director of communications for USA Track & Field, was gracious in providing some pertinent details for the Dan and Dave piece.

Id especially like to thank those intimately involved with the creation of this book because they were the ones who took it to another level: our editor, Mark Tavani, whose future is so bright in this industry it makes my eyes hurt; our agent, Byrd Leavell with the Waxman Agency, who offered up pearls of wisdom on the occasions when we lost our way; Charlie DeMarcothis was his brainchildwhose guidance, direction, and graphic design talents were invaluable; my coauthor, Jesse Lamovsky, whose knowledge of sports is so vast it made me feel inadequate on a daily basis. Im a better writer and even a better sports fan from having worked with you all. And to Kara Cesare, whose pro bono assistance throughout was beyond the call of duty, and revealed, once again, how selfless an individual she truly is.

Godspeed.

M.R.

To my dad, who taught me everything I know about sports, and most of the other things as well. To my wife, who will watch football with me, and just goes in the other room during basketball and baseball. To Jesse and Matt, who wrote the vast majority of this book and allowed me to tag along.

C.D.

INTRODUCTION

A nyone who was breathing oxygen in the days of olive-colored linoleum, rotary phones, and console TVs most likely remembers the opening montage to ABCs Wide World of Sports. The actual contents of the showfrom bowling to horse racing to gigantic South African men dragging Renaultsare now a blur, but the stirring music and the distinct voice of Jim McKay: The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! were anything but forgettable. And while the smiling faces and raised arms of those lucky enough to represent the thrill of victory might have slipped our minds, the images that accompanied the agony of defeat still glow as brightly as ever in our memories.

The defining piece of opening footage from Wide World of Sports is the out-of-control ski jumper, Vinko Bogataj of the country formerly known as Yugoslavia, tumbling headlong off the ramp into a cloud of limbs, skis, and snow in a wipeout for the ages. Success just doesnt linger in the mind or the stomach like failure.

Vinko Bogataj is the Worst of Sports. Yet this book is so much more. Its the chronicling of the most egregious mistakes and defeats, the most awful teams and regimes on record, and an opinionated take on some of the most controversial events from the history of the games we all love. By no means is this book all-inclusivean all-inclusive Worst of Sports would require a forklift for carrying aroundbut the breadth of topics covered is as wide and varying as the opinions professed by passionate sports fans everywhere.

In taking our shots, we did so from the heartnot sardonically or derisively. Satirically? Absolutely! The goal is not to offend, but to stir things up and, in a weird way, to celebrate. The beauty of sports and the fans who love them is that no matter how clear or judicial the outcome, it will not be accepted as such. Emotion, subjectivity, and disputation arent just welcome, theyre wholeheartedly encouraged. So pull up a chair and get involved.

Dan OBrien fails Reebok and himself as he is unable to clear the pole vault bar at the 1992 U.S. Olympic Trials.