R. D. Reynolds - WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling

R.D. Reynolds with Randy Baer

by John Tenta

My name is John Tenta. It's a name that's familiar to some people in the world of professional wrestling, but unfamiliar to some others. Here in Japan, I am known as John Tenta, or as Koto Tenzan, my former name in professional sumo wrestling But most of you likely know me by my former WWF or WCW ring names: Earthquake, Avalanche, Shark, and Golga the Human Oddity.

I am sitting in a dressing room in Korakoen Hall in Tokyo, Japan. This building has a rich history of pro wrestling, hosting matches anywhere from two to six times a month. Literally thousands of wrestlers have passed through this venue during their careers; others have only dreamed of it. Countless legends of wrestling have competed here, like Giant Baba, Antonio Inoki, Jumbo Tsuruta, Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen, Abdullah the Butcher, the Funks, Harley Race, and Ric Flair. The list goes on and on and on.

But I am not here to talk about past wrestling champions. No, I'm here to introduce you to a friend of mine, R.D. Reynolds. R.D. has taken the time and effort to compile some of the worst characters and story lines in the history of professional wrestling in the book you now hold in your hands.

So why have I been talking about Japan? Well, it's because it was in this very building, some fifteen years ago, that a boy's dream came true. My dream. It is here that, at the age of 24, I had my debut match as a professional wrestler, something I had dreamed of since I was six years old.

Mine is just one story of dreams that have come true for thousands of wrestlers. I remember dreaming as a boy that I would one day be a world champion. And although that wish never became a reality, I take pride in the fact that I was one half of the WWF Tag Team Champions known as the Natural Disasters, along with my good friend Typhoon. I am also proud of the fact that I wrestled against world champions such as Macho Man Randy Savage, the Ultimate Warrior, and Sting, and, in the highlight of my career, against Hulk Hogan at SummerSlam. There I was, in the main event of one of the biggest shows of the year with one of the biggest stars in the history of the business. It is something I will never forget.

I'll never forget being the Shark, either, but not for the same reasons. No one knows for certain whether a wrestler's gimmick will work or fall flat on its face. It's the fans who decide. All that we can do, as wrestlers, is give it our best shot. I didn't like dressing up as a shark, but it was what I was given to do, and I did my best. Some fans even had some fun with it. When fans come up to me now, they inevitably recite an interview I did at the end of the gimmick. I'm not a shark, I said on Nitro. I'm a man. I'm John Tenta. People remember that, so I guess I did my job.

I actually enjoyed being an Oddity, although I shouldn't have. After all, I was under a mask, so people couldn't even see my face. It really felt like Vince McMahon was punishing me for having deserted the WWF for WCW three years earlier. I still had fun with it, though. I laughed as I danced with the rest of the Oddities, and the fans would dance along. It didn't matter whether we won or lost; we'd dance anyway. It was a short run, but it was a lot of fun.

Being the Shark and being an Oddity that was WrestleCrap, no doubt about it. But it was also kind of funny. Unlike some folks in this business, I can laugh at it, because I can laugh at myself.

John Tenta back before they made him a shark, and his partner Typhoon before they obscured his vision with a stormtrooper helmet and shoved him through a wall. [Photo: John Lawson]

I can also laugh at my friends. Who can forget my former partner Typhoon as the Shockmaster in WCW? I know he wishes that he could. He was actually set for a huge push, but maybe the push was a little too big; during his first big entrance he stumbled through a hole in a wall that he'd just burst through. What was that I was saying about some gimmicks falling flat on their faces? Maybe his head, which was covered in a storm-trooper helmet, was getting too big?

Just kidding, Typh you know I love you.

Hell, Typhoon was the best partner anyone could hope for. He's a true friend, with a heart as big as his huge frame. I knew that if we ever got into trouble, in or out of the ring, he'd be there for me. He's a great man and a great friend, and I still don't believe he knows just how strong he really is.

And there's something that unites the two of us in an unbreakable bond: we've both been saddled with WrestleCrap.

I guess that there have been and continue to be bad gimmicks that simply don't work, just as there will always be bad gimmicks that actually get over for some reason or other. I remember Vince McMahon once saying that he could make a star out of anyone. I can't argue that point. He took two WCW outcasts and made them two of the biggest names ever in wrest- ling: Stone Cold Steve Austin and Triple H. Their potential was never realized in WCW, because Eric Bischoff, who ran the promotion, depended on proven stars. Bischoff never gave new guys a chance to succeed. He never knew how to create stars. In fact, I believe that if it hadn't been for the WWF, and the stars that Vince McMahon made who left for WCW, there never would have been a ratings war between Nitro and Raw. So where's Bischoff now? And where's WCW?