Carol Goodman - The Sonnet Lover

CONTENTS

TO LEE,
MY SONNET LOVER

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Id like to thank my editor, Linda Marrow, for her always insightful editing and my agent, Loretta Barrett, for her encouragement and support. Thanks, also, to all those at Ballantine whose hard work and belief in me made it possible for me to write this book: Gina Centrello, Libby McGuire, Kim Hovey, Brian McLendon, Gene Mydlowski, Lisa Barnes, Dana Isaacson, and Daniel Mallory. Thanks, too, to Nick Mullendore and Gabriel David at Loretta Barrett Books.

Im grateful to my circle of first readers: Barbara Barak, Laurie Bower, Connie Crawford, Gary Feinberg, Emily Frank, Marge Goodman, Lauren Lipton, Beth Lurie, Andrea Massar, Wendy Gold Rossi, Scott Silverman, and Sondra Browning Witt. Special thanks to Beth Lurie, Director of the Beth Lurie Language Institute, who gave invaluable assistance in providing and correcting Italian phrases in the bookand for teaching me how to order a cup of coffee in Italy! Thanks, too, to Andrew Cotto for consultation on Italian food and wine, and Bennett Nayer for research assistance.

Most of all, this book couldnt have been written without the poetic talent and vision of my husband, Lee Slonimsky. All of the sonnets attributed to Ginevra de Laura in this book were written by Lee. I couldnt have written a book about poetry without his poems; I couldnt have written a book about love without his love.

CHAPTER
ONE

T HE MOST THANKLESS JOB ON THE PLANET MAY WELL BE TEACHING R ENAISSANCE love poetry to a group of hormone-dazed adolescents on a beautiful spring day. I had saved up against just such a day, through the deep snows of February, the sleets of March, and Aprils endless deluge, one of the most popular and accessible of Shakespeares sonnets, but I might as well have been reciting the Dow Jones Industrial Average for all the impact the Bards words were having on the class. Even Robin Weiss, my best student, was more interested in the sunbathers and Frisbee players cavorting five stories below us in Washington Square Park than in answering my last question.

Im sorry, he says, his eyes still on the sun-splashed scene outside the window. Could you repeat the question?

I asked what you thought of Shakespeares promise to his beloved to immortalize him through art.

Hmph. Robin begins by ejecting a disdainful breath of air. I think of it the way I think of most lovers promises, that he speaks an infinite deal of nothing.

A chorus of sighs from the girls in the back row greets Robins pronouncement. Had they all had their hearts broken recently? I wonder. Perhaps by Robin himself? Werent they a little young to be giving up on love? But then I remember that this is exactly the age that feels loves disappointment the most keenly, the age when one might forswear love, never guessing there might come a day when one is forsworn by love.

So you dont think that art provides immortality? I ask, unwilling to let Robin hide behind the world-weary pose hes worn, along with a vintage Versace tweed jacket lined in yellow silk, since returning from the fall semester in Florence. I still remembered the fervor hed had in Freshman Comp. He was going to be a playwright because, he said, to have your words spoken on the stage after your death meant youd never truly be dead. I knew hed switched his ambition to filmmaker since then and had spent his time in Italy making a film that the whole campus was talking about. In fact, tonight it was to be shown at the Hudson College Invitational Film Show, where it was expected to win first prize. Was Robin already jaded by success?

Turning from the sun toward me, though, his face looks not so much jaded as bruised. His pale blue eyes are dilated and bloodshot, his full lips are chapped and swollen, and his delicate skin is chafed and raw. His sandy brown hair looks as wild as the signature Medusa heads on the buttons of his jacket. Im used to my students looking haggard around finals time, but Robin looks as if hed spent the last week weeping. I would happily let him off the hookespecially since I can tell by the shuffling of books and shouldering of backpacks and by my watch, which lies on the desk in front of me, that the classs hour is drawing to an endbut Robin chooses to answer my question with a question. Or rather, two questions.

If you lost someone you loved, would reading something about himor by himlessen the loss one iota? Wouldnt you trade all the poems and all the plays in all the world for just five minutes with him again?

Well, I begin, intending to deal with Robins questions as I usually deal with difficultor in this case, unanswerablequestions in class: by turning it back to the student. Maybe even assigning it as an essay topic. But Robin is looking at me as though he really expects an answer. As if hed been offered this Faustian bargain last night at the Cedar Tavern and theres a sinister-looking man in a dark overcoat waiting in the hall for his answer. All of literature for five minutes with your lost beloved? Even the classs incipient rustling, which should have swept us all out of here like a late November rainstorm cleaning out the dead leaves, has been stilled by Robins urgency.

Five minutes? I ask. As if I could bargain. Get in on the deal.

Robin nods, the ghost of a smile curving his chapped lips, reminding me of someone else whose lips used to curve in that same Cupids bow.

Sure, I say, blushing at the memory of that other mouth, who wouldnt?

Theres another class in the same room after ours, so theres no lingering. In the hall I answer a few of my students questions about the final and the term paper and explain, riding the elevator down to the lobby, that my regular office hours are suspended today because of the film show and reception tonight. When the elevator reaches the ground floor the students quickly disperse, and Im surprised to see Robin, who had bolted out of the class after I answered his question, still in the lobby. Its been a while since hes waited for me after class. Im even more surprised to see him in conversation with a young man who might have sprung from my Faustian fantasy of ten minutes agoright down to the black sheepherding overcoat and sinister expression. The boy turns his face to the light and Im startled both by how handsome he ishis finely modeled features like a white marble bust of a Greek god framed by blue-black ringletsand by something familiar about him. No doubt hes a drama major whom Ive seen in a student play. He certainly seems to have a flair for the dramatic as he replies angrily to something Robin says, shakes his fine head of hair, and then sweeps out of the lobby, the tails of his coat floating behind him.

For a moment Robin looks as if he were considering following him, but then he sees me. I know you dont have office hours, Dr. Asher, he says, but could I walk with you a minute?

As long as you dont ask any more soul-searching questions, I say, preceding Robin through the revolving doors. Although its late in the afternoon, the light is so bright that I have to fish in my bag for sunglasses. When Ive gotten them on, I see by Robins downcast expression that hes taken my remark seriously.

Oh, no, you do have another soul-searching question. Well, ask away, but try to remember that Im old, Robin, and such urgent questions of love are a little less urgent these days.