Tony Husband - Take Care, Son: The Story of My Dad and his Dementia

The Story of my Dad and his Dementia

Tony Husband

ROBINSON

Constable & Robinson Ltd

55-56 Russell Square

London WC1B 4HP

www.constablerobinson.com

This edition published in the UK in 2014 by Robinson,
an imprint of Constable & Robinson Ltd

Copyright Tony Husband 2014

The right of Tony Husband to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on a subsequent purchaser.

A copy of the British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-1-47211-556-0 (flexiback)

ISBN 978-1-47211-624-6 (ebook)

Printed in the UK

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For my brothers Jim, Keith and Ron and our families

Cover by Simon Levy

Hi Dad... can we have a chat about your dementia... Can you remember how it started?

Dementia?

Dementia, is that what I had... Ha ha... I had dementia and you ask if I remember how it started... Ha, thats funny.

Let me think... I mean, its not like it just starts like a cough or a toothache, its something that creeps up on you.

Because when your mum died... I threw myself into things... I was very active in mind and body. I wasnt going to sink under...

I loved painting... watercolours... I did my own Christmas card every year. People looked forward to them, you know. Course, I had my pets in every one. Tee hee.

I loved golf... I wasnt very good, mind. I did enjoy the company, though, and the exercise... and I was the Seniors President too.

Fore!

I liked being involved in the community. I was a bit of a committee man: the golf club; Probis; the War Memorial Trust. I liked a debate, a bit of a fight if Im honest.

How about your great achievement? You know, your First World War project.

Aye? Oh yes, that was an achievement, wasnt it... You mean researching all the lads from the town who died in the Great War. Great task, more like... phew...

But Dad, the mental strength it took to do all that research. The hours of research, late nights... You were relentless.

Yes I know! It was hard, but someone had to do it. Someone had to chronicle all those lads who perished. Every single name is now in remembrance books, and I got the council to create a memorial garden. Proud of that, you know.

We were proud of you too.

I loved playing my piano... Boogie Woogie and blues.... I played in bands in the army, I was that good.

I enjoyed a pint... especially with my lads talking football, politics, music... you cant beat a pint and a chat in a good pub.

And of course my dog Lossie... my lovely best pal. Always there for me. Kept loneliness at the door. Oh Lossie.

But things began to change didnt they... we noticed you werent the same but we couldnt pin it down. It was just a... feeling we had.

Yes... things did change slowly... I mean we all forget, and thats the problem when do you realise its a different form of forgetting?

So how did it start for you Dad?

Just that, forgetting things, I suppose. Dates, names, appointments... daft things, important things.

What, Im on the tee in ten minutes?... bloody hell, no, of course Id not forget. Im on my way.

Id go out and leave the door open or Id lock myself out.

Ron, your door!

I left the tap running a number of times... flooded myself out, apparently.

It could be embarrassing.

And the winner of the monthly medal is... er...
Bloody hell, Ron, its you! Ha ha.

And going out in my pyjama bottoms wasnt the wisest move.

The strange thing was, though... my distant memory cleared up. I could remember stories Id long forgot about my childhood.

And my wartime experiences...