Peter Rabe - A Shroud for Jesso

The Constellation swung close to the ramp, coughed a few times, and stopped. There was a second or so of silence, then the clatter of the wheeled ramp, the door swinging open in the flank of the plane, the passengers making noises of hello and good-by. They filed out in a fast line that seemed to knot for a moment when it hit the cluster of reporters at the bottom of the stairs. Then the line pushed through and left the reporters in a happy circle around the blonde with the baby face. She slung back her mink to show more of the real thing and the flash bulbs started to wink. The baby face smiled, fresh and pretty, and the girl looked for all the world as if shed just had a nice hot bath.

Jack Jesso pushed by the crowd that stood around the girl. He gave her a short look, remembering the back of her head. Hed been looking at it ever since LA. He looked at the rest of her now, but all he could think of was a hot bath.

When he got to the baggage counter, nobody was there but the attendants and a stewardess holding a clip board. Then the rest of the passengers came through. It got really hectic when the girl with the open mink came by, but Jack Jesso wasnt paying any attention. He rubbed the black stubble on his face and kept looking at the door that led to the taxi stands. After a while he was alone again. He looked at the clock over the reservation desk, picked up his brief case, and went to the phone booth. By the time he got his party there was a mean squint around his eyes and his voice sounded clipped.

This is Jesso. That you, Murph?

Hi, Jackie. Im sorry about-

Why arent you over here?

Jackie, Im sorry I couldnt-

I sent you a telegram two days ago. Thats enough time for anybody to get off their can and do a simple trick like showing up at the airport. Im taking the bus in. Meet me at the First Avenue station.

Listen, Jackie, I was gonna come out, honest, but-

First Avenue in an hour. Be there.

But Gluck didnt-

Gluck?

Sure, Jackie, Im trying to tell you. He said no.

There was a pause. Jesso looked at the clock again, then turned to the phone. First Avenue at eight, he said. It sounded straight and normal, but he smashed the receiver on the hook as if he were hitting at a face. The receiver missed the cradle and clattered down as far as the cord would let it. Jesso walked out of the booth. The phone dangling in mid-air like the arm on a slow clock.

By the glass door that led to the outside he almost ran into her. She was holding both doors by the handles, holding them together so the doors wouldnt swing, and she looked at him through the glass.

Smile, Jackie, or I wont let you out.

Jesso stopped close to the door and looked at her through the glass. Open up, Lynn.

She looked into his face. She might have kissed him if the glass hadnt been there. Smile or I wont let you out, Jackie.

He felt irritable. He wished Lynn werent there. Open up, Lynn. Im in a hurry.

He hadnt smiled once, but she opened the door. Lynn looked like the blonde from the plane, except that her face wasnt babyish. Even with the glass door gone now they stood apart; Jesso because he wanted it that way, Lynn because she couldnt help it. She looked at Jesso a while longer, but when he started to go she grabbed him by the arms and kissed his chin.

Youre back, she said. She tried to smile.

So what? He took her wrists and pushed her hands down. Lynn, once and for all, go away. He tried to make it sound even. Im in a hurry, Lynn. The bus.

Then she started to talk fast. But I brought the car, Jackie. I called you and called you and then I got Murph, and he told me youd been away. So I came out to pick you up, Jackie. She laughed. I always seem to be trying to pick you up.

He didnt make a joke of it. Theres nothing to pick up, Lynn.

She suddenly turned. Look, Jackie, the bus is leaving. She watched him. He looked angry. Ill give you a lift. I brought the car to give you a lift. Murph said-

All right. Come on. Im in a hurry.

They found her car and she drove.

Why such a hurry, Jackie? She kept her eyes on the road.

Jesso lit a cigarette and didnt answer. At least he was getting a lift.

Jackie, why always a hurry when I see you? Jackie? Dont you remember the way it was?

He threw the cigarette out of the window and turned to the girl. He looked tired. Look, Lynn, once more. I remember how it was and its not that way any more. And theres your answer. He leaned back in the seat, rubbed his hands over his face to make the stiffness go away. So get off my back, Lynn. He talked through his hands. Stop acting as if I was the only man in the world.

You were the first, she said.

He groaned, turned to the window.

They drove without talking for a while and then Lynn got busy with the traffic and that killed some more time without talking. Jesso looked at her from the side. A beautiful profile. A beautiful profile all the way down. Even sitting in the soft seat of the car she looked poised, distant. Thats how shed looked the first time. Shed been that way. She sounded finishing school and looked North Shore and touching her was like a brash, strong move against the thousand things she had and he had not. Thats how it felt, at first, and then she gave. Even that was good for a while, but then it all turned into putty. There wasnt a thing that she could give him any more. She came to his side of the tracks, she started clinging, and Lynn was through.

Jackie?

He looked ahead and folded his arms.

Why didnt you let me know youd gone to the Coast?

Business. Wouldnt interest you.

Vegas?

Whats the difference?

We met in Vegas. You were there on business that time, Jackie, and then Tahoe. You took me to Lake Tahoe.

He sat up. His voice was controlled. Lynn, listen. I got nothing against you. And I got nothing for you. Learn that, willya?

The way she took it, without ever showing a dent, made him feel as if he wanted to break something. He took a deep breath and kept staring ahead. It would go away in a minute. It would go away, get indifferent, just the way it always had with Lynn, and with who knows what their names were.

I can wait, Jackie, she said, but he wasnt paying attention any more.

She pulled up to the bus terminal and Murph was standing there. He kept hitching his pants over his belly, and now and then he wiped a handkerchief over his bald head. When Lynns car rolled up and Jesso got out, Murph ran up to carry the brief case.

Thanks for the lift, Jesso said, and good-by.

Not good-by, Jackie.

Good-by He straightened up and had his back turned when the car took off. Murph reached for the brief case.

Hi, Jackie. Murph grinned. That little Lynn girl-

Wheres the car?

You know, shes been calling ever since-

Come on, Murph, wheres the car?

Murph started moving, but it didnt stop his train of thought.

You know, Jack, I always say once you get one of them-

Jesso held the man by one sleeve. Keep it clean, Murphy.

Jeese, Murph said, and then they got to the car. They didnt say another word until Murph swung the car into traffic on Fifth Avenue.

Turn off and take the parkway Im not going to Glucks.

Jeese.

Jesso lit a cigarette and offered the pack to Murph. Murph didnt want one.

I oughta tell you, Jackie. Gluck wants to see you right off.

Take the parkway

Jeese, Jackie. Glucks the boss!

You know what he can do?

Heh. Just this morning he said the same about you.

Jesso leaned back and tried laughing, but he didnt really feel it. Gluck wasnt going to be laughed off. Gluck was still the boss.

So lets have it, Murph. Whats his beef this time?

His beef? Nothing. Just you. Like always.