Yasutaka Tsutsui - Salmonella Men on Planet Porno

My father came up from the country carrying a curiously shaped bonsai tree.

This heres a Dabba Dabba Tree, he announced, showing it to me and my wife. Its a special kind of cedar, see.

My, what an odd-looking thing, said my wife, examining it with a look of puzzlement.

The tree was about eight inches tall. It was thicker at the base but tapered off towards the top, where the foliage was more sparse. Standing upright, the trunk formed a perfect cone.

Yes, and what an odd name, I added, watching my fathers expression. Perhaps it would shed some light on his reason for bringing the tree.

Well, its not just the name thats odd, he said, narrowing his eyes. If you put this Dabba Dabba Tree in your bedroom at night, youll have fruity dreams till morning comes!

Gosh! I wonder what he means, said my wife.

I whispered in her ear. Erotic dreams, of course.

Oh! she exclaimed, blushing.

My father gave her a lewd look and continued. Youve been married five years but still aint had kids. Thats why I brought you the tree. Put it in your bedroom tonight youre sure to have some cracking dreams. Go on, have it! Its no good for an old codger like me! Kekekekekeh! he chuckled like some weird bird, before setting off back to the country.

That night, we took the Dabba Dabba Tree into our bedroom and placed it at the foot of our double bed. Yes, we were still using a double bed even after five years of marriage. Well, our bedroom was rather small. There wasnt enough room for two beds.

Good night, then.

Yes, good night.

We dived under the sheets, excitedly turned our backs on each other, and concentrated on getting to sleep. At times like this, you want to be the first to drop off. Otherwise, the sound of your partners breathing gets on your nerves and keeps you awake. So much the worse if you know shes having an erotic dream. And worse still if she starts talking in her sleep.

Luckily, I nodded off immediately.

And I started dreaming. I dreamt I was in my bedroom, sleeping in my double bed with my wife.

Yes! A dream!

I sat up. My wife was slumbering peacefully next to me, completely naked. She cant sleep any other way. I turned my head in puzzlement.

Great. Whats erotic about that?!

If I made love to her after all this time, there wouldnt be anything erotic about it at all. It would just be dull old reality whether she was naked or not.

Well, if this is an erotic dream, Id better do something erotic!

I got out of bed and put my shirt and trousers on. Then I slipped on some sandals and went outside. To find a woman worthy of sharing my erotic dream, Id have to go to the nightlife district. I walked along a dark side-road, then turned into a major thoroughfare. The street shone as bright as day, thanks to the bars and restaurants on either side. There were people everywhere.

Where are all the tasty women then? I grumbled. I was feeling rather tired after walking two or three blocks. Having an erotic dream clearly demanded a certain amount of perseverance. I would spot a woman who looked promising from a distance but who, on closer inspection, turned out to be a wrinkled old hag. Or a tall, slender girl with a great figure would be walking in front of me. Id hurry to catch her up, only to find that she was a complete dog to look at. Im not usually picky about my women. But now that I was having this erotic dream, it would have been pointless to go for someone I didnt fancy. I walked on.

Then a girl stepped out of a streetside caf. She was dressed in a dark-brown suit and looked like a college student. Wearing little make-up besides her lipstick, she had pale skin, large eyes and a pretty face.